Rebuilding Self-Trust and Setting Personal Boundaries
Listen Here: https://www.tinastinson.com/podcasts/soul-aligned-self-care/episodes/2148879857
In the third week of my boundary series, I delve into the critical topic of understanding personal boundaries and cultivating self-trust on the "Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast." Drawing from my own experiences as a people pleaser and survivor of a verbally abusive relationship, I offer profound insights and actionable advice to help you reconnect with your feelings, wants, and needs. This blog post will break down the key themes and tips from the episode, providing a comprehensive guide to setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Understanding Personal Boundaries
The Unique Nature of Boundaries
I emphasize that personal boundaries are unique to each individual and cannot be dictated by societal norms or external opinions. This is a crucial point: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to setting boundaries. Each person's...
From People Pleaser to Boundary Badass: A Journey of Self-Care and Empowerment
Listen to the podcast episode here.
Hey there! In the latest episode of the "Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast," I share my transformative journey from being a chronic people pleaser to becoming a confident "boundary badass."
This episode kicks off a new series all about the critical role of boundaries in self-care and self-love, especially for those of us who have faced challenges like low self-worth, trauma, or abusive relationships.
Understanding People-Pleasing: The Root Causes
I open up about my own past, recounting a 20-year experience in a verbally abusive relationship that conditioned me to prioritize the needs of others over my own. This experience, I explain, is not uncommon; many people find themselves caught in the cycle of people-pleasing due to various factors:
Fear of Rejection and Abandonment
Childhood Experiences: Many people-pleasers have a history of childhood experiences where they felt...
Recentering Yourself to Thrive in Life Long-Term
Many of us, especially women, spend a large portion of our lives centering others. Whether that be a partner, children, or caring for parents. It looks different for all of us.
From a young age many women are taught to be the caretaker from our mothers, as they were taught. We are taught to take care of everyone else first, this is our purpose, this is how we survive. At least that is where this behavior came from.
It wasn't too long ago that women couldn’t have a bank account, couldn’t own a house, without a man. So, as a matter of survival this is what we did and how we were taught your mothers to survive.
Now, things are a changing. Women don’t need a man to survive. As a matter of fact, I think as a whole, women are better at managing life because of the way we were raised.
But the lasting remnants of this are still around and there are many women who still put everyone else first before...
How many times have you felt like there is not enough time in the day or like you’re flying by the seat of your pants and you're late to everything, business appointments, calls, family moments, and picking your kids up from school?
I’ve been there and know what it feels like to be one step behind time. It feels stressful and kinda depleting. Depleting my energy and my soul.
That's the perfect way to explain it, soul-sucking.
The worst part is, most of the things we are doing. Don’t light us up inside. It's not what we really want to be doing.
It’s not what we’re passionate about.
So how did we get here? Well, for one thing, society praises people who are “too busy” as being important and worthy, and it's kinda a badge of honor to say when someone asks you what you’ve been up to. You say “Oh, sooo busy”.
We, as women are also raised to be giving and caring, and to ask for nothing in...
When I was a bit younger I was an award-winning people pleaser. All I focused on was how I could make everyone else happy and I rarely focused on myself.
One of the things I noticed disappear during this time period was my connection with myself, my intuition, and my trust in myself.
These are some pretty important things to have in your life so I was pretty unhappy and I was totally burnt out.
It took a major health emergency to wake me up too.
I definitely don’t want this for you or anyone for that matter and that's why I always share what I went through and what I learned.
It took me close to a decade to reprogram myself to know in my soul that when I put myself first everyone benefits, this is a long time. But you have to remember, I spent all of my life being a people pleaser before that. Even as a child. So you know, it takes some time to reprogram.
Why did it take so long? Well, I didn’t even really know that setting boundaries is what I...
I absolutely love this topic. I love chipping away at all these little ways I can support my energy and take care of myself at the highest level.
I’m also a big fan of baby steps.
This week I wanted to share with you some things I do on a regular basis to be really intentional about what I choose to expose my energy to.
I want to point out that this is a choice, some might not agree but with a little awareness and some strong boundaries, you get to create the environment you live in.
All of it, is how you work, who you spend time with, and what media you expose yourself to. These are all choices we make every day. Sometimes not consciously.
So starting now is the best time to start to bring awareness to your energy enhancers and suckers and adjust accordingly. The best part is you can break it down into all these baby steps and today I’m going to share a few that I love to work on.
Media is one thing that takes a huge toll on me and a lot of my clients and...
I had a thought this morning after and great night's sleep and some morning journaling and meditation that I wanted to start to shift my focus away from the Live With Purpose Series and move into Choosing You.
How to step into YOUR power and start choosing yourself on the daily so you can show up in your life as the best version of yourself.
Today I’ll talk about how you can start doing this every day.
You know I encourage you to take have big goals and dreams but to take small consistent steps and keep moving forward.
Well, this is no different. Choosing to support yourself, your health, your beliefs, and your energy, and protecting that like your life depends on it is the DEEPEST level of self-care.
It’s creating and maintaining those powerful healthy boundaries and treating yourself with the same level of support you give your partner, your kids, and your best friend.
I recently saw a creator on Tik Tok (No, I don’t know her name but obviously, she is awesome,...
Set Boundaries To Create Space In Your Life
Boundaries are one of my favorite things to talk about because I believe they are the foundation of a high level of self-care and self-love. Also, I am an award-winning recovered people pleaser so I constantly have to work on maintaining my boundaries for myself.
First things first, what is a boundary?
A boundary is what you are willing to allow or not allow in your energy space.
I want to start by explaining something really important that a lot of people miss.
We are all different, we have different strengths, weaknesses, likes dislikes, love languages, and different patience levels. So naturally, we will all have different boundaries. That's why it's so important for you to set them and MAINTAIN them. It’s your responsibility to do this for yourself. What you think might be an obvious boundary, might not be to someone else and vice versa.
This is why it's your job to let them know that this is a boundary...
I wanted to start a new series on the Soul Aligned Self Care News that shares other coaches' and healers' views of how they use self-care in their lives or with their clients.
I think it’s important to have different points of view from different types of coaches.
My goal is to have coaches and healers who work differently than I do in order for you to have the most beneficial and expansive experience when you spend time in the SASC Community.
This is our second Group Post!
This week we are joined by 3 other amazing coaches, 4including myself.
I hope you find this helpful to you in your life.
Let’s get into it!
When I teach and use self-care practices in my life I always refer to it as Deep-Level Self-Care.
The reason I do this is that for me it's not only about some of the more surface-level practices like a hot bubble bath or getting my nails done with friends. Also very important.
It’s...
5 steps to find life purpose
Start to live as your authentic self and create the impact your want in the world
How exactly do we become lost or disconnected from ourselves to the point where we feel completely stuck and uninspired in life.
I hear this time and time again especially from women heading into the middle part of life. They just feel like they have no purpose and no joy in their life. Like they are just going through the motions. I call this “Living on the hamster wheel.”
I believe a big part is we spend so much time, sometimes years taking care of other people, putting everyone else first at the cost of our happiness and health.
Most of this is expected of us from our family, significant others, and also society in general. Women are expected to be the perfect caretaker, mom, wife, friend, employee, and business owner. We are also expected to do this while looking and acting a certain way, thin, young, and beautiful. If I have to hear about one...
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