Setting boundaries might sound a bit confrontational or limiting. Actually, it’s what I think is one of the most important forms of self-care/self-love and it is not limiting but actually very expansive and can help you live your life more fully being authentically yourself.
What exactly is a boundary? A boundary is a limit we set around what we consider acceptable and unacceptable behavior. What we will do or not do, accept, and tolerate.
A boundary is very personal, it has nothing to do with another person. It is our own setpoint for what is acceptable in our life and it is our responsibility to set and maintain them and no one else's.
If you feel someone has stepped over one of your boundaries it’s because you let it happen.
It is not someone else's job to uphold and respect our boundaries, it’s our job.
If you set a boundary and don’t hold to it then you will send the message that no one else has to respect it either.
We teach people how to treat us.
3 Steps To Declutter Your Mind
I love to declutter stuff. My car, my closet, my junk drawer, and pretty much any part of my life. What most people don’t think about is how to declutter your mind so you can have less stress and anxiety and also make space for more creativity and happiness.
I recently did a FB live on decluttering in my FB Group, Empowering Women at 40 and Beyond, and was going to write about decluttering everything, but then I thought it would be better to focus on your mind because we often fail to think and care for ourselves and I’d say getting your head unclogged would be beneficial, right?
Here are 3 steps you can take to help declutter your mind.
Self-care To Help With Anxiety
When all the crap started in 2020 (Too much crap to list for all of us), I'm not gonna lie, I was freaking anxious. And I knew I needed to make some adjustments. My anxiety level was unreasonable and I knew I needed to get it to chill. I started to do some research on how I could do this naturally.
Keep in mind in order to really make changes in the way you feel you have to do the work. If you want to feel different then you have to be different. So commit to doing the work when you get started.
Here are a few changes I made that helped.
I Cut Back On The Caffeine
This was tough for me, I love coffee and it's such a huge part of my routine. The more I read about it, the more I knew it needed to be done!
Caffeine can not only increase anxiety levels but even worse people with anxiety can be more vulnerable to its effects. I now drink mostly decaffeinated which I did gradually over time. If you want to know my system, contact me and I'll share.
This week I thought it would be great to talk about learning how to say no to things you really don't want to do so you can say yes to things that light you up inside.
This is a way to prioritize and protect one of your most valuable resources! Time.
So make sure when you say yes to something it's a hell yes! Agreed?
Today I'm going to cover 3 different situations and how to say no.
To The Boss - When You Don't Have The Time
“I know this project/work is important to you. Can we spend some time looking at my current responsibilities because I want to do my job very well and I don't want anything to fall through the cracks. I can get this done for you but we might have to put another project on the back burner so I can give you my best work for this one.” It's the truth and it's polite and respectful.
To A Close Friend Or Family Member – If You're Currently In A State Of Over Scheduled Overwhelm
“ I'm sorry I'll have to pass right now....
6 Quick Confidence Boosters
Helping with immediate challenges
While there's a lot of things you can do to help with your confidence on a deeper level that has more staying power, today I'm talking about tips for a quick confidence boost in an immediate situation you might be dealing with.
So first what is confidence? And what is the difference between confidence and self-worth/esteem?
Self-esteem is your sense of self, who you are, and your acceptance of that.
Confidence is a belief in your capabilities.
These definitely have an effect on each other but are different things.
Here are a few quick tips to help improve your confidence levels.
Visualization - Before going into a situation you might be intimidated with, rehearse it successfully in your head. Go through the whole situation step by step. See yourself getting through it successfully without any problems.
Educate yourself about the subject or the challenge your facing,...
Finding Your “Why”
Putting strong intention behind your goals and dreams.
One of the first things I have my clients do when they are setting goals or they have a big dream that they want to bring to life is to have them do the “Finding Your “Why”” exercise.
There's a couple of things this does for a person.
It helps the person discover if this is indeed their goal. You might say, “Who else s goal would it be?” Well sometimes people will set a goal trying to please someone in their life like a parent, significant other, children, or even society. If you dig deep and can't find the passion behind the goal, it might not be yours.
It also can help you dig deep and find the true meaning behind why this goal is important to you. The deeper you dig, the more emotion and passion you will put behind the goal giving it intention and power.
Having a well thought out “Why” behind each goal gives you something to...
Why You Should Use a Vision Board to Put Power Behind Your Goals
I absolutely love vision boards! I make one every year and I find it not just fun but also a creative and powerful practice.
I love looking at it every day and being able to visualize each goal and feel the positive feelings that come with the journey to reaching each one of them. This is why I do this every year and sometimes even more than once a year. Because it works. It adds that extra boost, and focus you need to keep moving forward even when things might get hard.
I want to go over a few reasons why this works, it's not magic, although it feels that way. It's just a fun way to make things happen so it doesn't feel like work:)
Creating a vision board makes you commit to specific goals – In order to create the creative masterpiece that you will use to inspire you to take action you have to really be specific about the goals and find creative ways to convey them on paper or digitally....
One of the most transformational things I learned to do was changing my perspective on the situations in my life.
The funny thing was, that I did it purely out of survival and didn't even realize it too much until it became a habit. I really would focus on trying to figure out why things, kinda crappy things, kept happening to me. I knew I needed to make a shift from this.
You see, I was dealing with so many stressful things at once that I had no choice to look at them differently. The only other choice I had was to spiral into panic and depression and this was unacceptable because I had 3 young children depending on me and me only.
I could go into deeply what I was dealing with but it doesn't really matter too much. People deal with stressful situations differently so something very stressful for me might be considered a walk in the park to you. What is important is feeling good with the place you are right now and to learn from those crappy situations as much as you can and...
This is more than just a blog post, it's also a take action, kick-butt workbook! If you want a printable copy head over to www.tinastinson.com and you can download this right on the front page!
Also, want to connect with like-minded women that want to thrive in their second half? Join the Facebook Group, Empowering Women at 40 and beyond.
Everything we are surrounded with throughout our whole life gives us the impression that once we reach mid-life as women we are past our prime, old and worn out, and that we are at some kind of an endpoint.
Media and advertising lead us to believe that aging is not good and we should do everything in our power to stop and delay it.
It might make us feel unappreciated, somewhat invisible, overwhelmed, and just plain tired.