Do you always find yourself saying " Why does this always happen to me?"
Then this blog post is for you!
Whenever I talk about what I call re-framing, turning your setbacks into success, I always label it as one of the most transformational lessons of my life.
The reason I say this is because I spent so many years in victim mode. What I would give to get some of that time back.
I was a victim, so it was hard for me to understand why I shouldn’t act like one. It kept me small, it kept me safe. Safe is the keyword. This is why so many of us stay in victim mode instead of taking responsibility for ourselves.
So what is victim mode? It's when we are a victim of some sort of mistreatment and we make excuses for ourselves to stay there by saying things like. Why does this always happen to me? I have the worst luck. Why do I always get treated this way?
This is where you can make the shift. Instead of asking why is this happening to me, you start asking,
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This is the last step in the decluttering practice and if you haven't read the other two you can visit them here:
Deep Level Self Care Series: Decluttering The Mind
Deep Level Self Care Series: Creating Flow In Your Life with Decluttering
Inside the SASC Bootcamp I call this decluttering your processes. It’s about looking at the way you do everything in your life, your standard operating procedures, and finding all the places you find friction and discomfort and then trying to remove, reduce, and improve.
The more we refine these things, the more we remove stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. We reduce our chance of burnout.
As I said at the beginning of this series, there are 11 practices I share in the Bootcamp and when you put all of them together they create a powerhouse of support for you. When you make the decision to support yourself at this level you create a mindset shift for yourself to always have your own back and to put your health and wellness at the...
Deep Level Self Care Series: Declutter Your Space To Create Flow
Some of you might think that I’m nuts talking about decluttering around the holidays but hear me out. I have a little bit of a different approach than others when it comes to decluttering space.
First, it’s not just physical space, I’ll explain in a second.
Secondly, I love the saying, baby steps lead to big changes.
Before I get into this practice, let me explain what you can expect from any type of decluttering.
When we declutter, we create space and flow in a space. This helps us reduce stress and anxiety and changes the energy of the space to more of a positive which then raises your energy. When we create this space, we also make room for new things in our life.
So if you’re looking to manifest something into your life think about where you need to create space for that thing or situation.
I’m going to start with...
Deep Level Self Care Series: Declutter The Mind
So those of you who have worked with me know that I’m a huge fan of decluttering but not in the sense that most would think.
It’s not just about decluttering the space, but I have to say this is part of it. It goes much much bigger than this though.
Decluttering is about creating space, this reduces stress and anxiety and creates more flow in your life. Whenever and wherever you reduce clutter, you reduce friction. When you reduce friction you create flow, peace, and space to breathe.
Decluttering can be magical if you're like me and tend to do too much and get stressed and anxious easily.
It helps you identify what is important and essential in your life. The things you have to do or have and the things you really want to do and have and ditch the rest.
Can you feel the space this creates just talking about it?
That's why it feels so good when you declutter a closet, for me, It can make...
In this second self-care practice from the SASC Bootcamp I will talk more about boundaries. Where you might need them, how to set them, and how to maintain them.
"I always say that boundaries are the foundation of all self-care, without boundaries to protect your energy and time, all the other self-care and self-love work get stripped down a bit."
I want to start by saying I’ve gone through this process myself going from award-winning people pleaser to boundary badass and it doesn’t happen overnight but the rewards were life-changing and life-saving for me.
Some of the benefits:
I could keep going but as you can see, very impressive benefits.
Having the people-pleasing tendency is definitely more common among women mostly because of the societal expectation for us to be the...
Last week I talked about how After I had a stroke at 39 from stress I had to learn how to care for myself at a deep level in order to survive. What I didn’t talk about is the 11 Deep-Level Self Care practices I used to get there but I’m not just surviving, I’m thriving!
My biggest lesson and message I share is that when you learn that deep-level self-care is NOT selfish, putting yourself first is NOT selfish. It serves everyone.
That statement might trigger a few people. I know it would have me triggered years ago because I based my worth on how I cared for others and how much I could do for others.
Basing your worth on something outside of yourself is a recipe for disaster. Depending on another person or situation to make you feel good, happy, and fulfilled in life will always leave you feeling unsatisfied and puts unneeded pressure on all of your relationships. The only person that can do those things for yourself is you.
By using these...
The Difference Between Surface & Deep Level Self Care & Why You Need Both
When I share what I do with the world I always share that I’m a Deep-Level Self-Care & Mindset Coach. When I say this I know that most people don’t know what I mean by that and think, “Why would I need a Self Care Coach?”.
Today I want to talk about the difference between surface-level self-care and deep-level self-care and why you need both of these infused into your daily life in order to put the best and healthiest version of yourself with the world.
First, let’s define surface-level self-care. These are things like the bubble bath, getting your nails done, spending some time outside, and lunch with a friend.
This type of self-care is important but will not have any lasting effect on your life if you're not taking care of yourself on a deeper level.
Deep-level self-care is working on yourself at a deeper level. For example, setting and maintaining...
I believe this will be the last of the Life On My Terms Series as I feel a shift moving into something else. Maybe it's the change of seasons, but I definitely feel a shift.
This topic, Finding Your Soul Aligned Friends & Family, is something that is very close to my heart. I’ve had to do this many times over for different reasons.
There are some people who will always be in my life and then there are some who have come and gone. Either way, there will always be times throughout your life when there is a need to expand your soul posse.
The first time I had to do this was when I came out of a very verbally abusive relationship where I lost the connection and trust in myself. When this happens, it’s hard to stay close to your soul family. Then, I also had to do this the many many times I moved in my life.
As we get older, I think this gets difficult because of a few reasons. Sometimes we just know who we are and are very picky about who we let into our...
I have given a lot of time to think about how cool it would be to go through your younger years of life with all the knowledge I have now as a woman in my mid-life era or what I like to call my Villan Era, oh how much fun it would be. I would be so powerful it would be dangerous.
This is why when I see the younger generations of women stepping into their power so amazingly I am in the front row of their cheering section. I’ll do anything to champion these young girls and women and live through their experiences with the pride of a mother. I will also do everything to raise that generation up.
That’s where the topic came from for this blog. If I could send my younger self all my knowledge from the life that I lived so far, what would it be? What would I say to that young, insecure girl with a full life ahead of her?
Here are some of the things on my list:
Don’t care about what anyone else thinks or says.
Nobody out there cares what you're doing. I...
I’m a dog person for sure. As in, my dogs are my second set of children. I’ve learned there are a couple of different levels of “dog person”. There's my crazy level. Then there are people who say they’re dog people but have to wash their hands after they touch one (Not from allergies) Now there is no hate coming from me. It’s just me noticing a difference.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve become closer with my dogs. You know through the pandemic and them being my most favorite companions ever.
There is a lot to say about the love and companionship we get from our pets or if you're like me, your furbabies, and today I want to share a few things I’ve learned just from watching and spending so much time with them.
These things I believe are life-changing, meaning they can change our health and our relationships for the better. How many times have you heard people say, “I like animals more than I like people” There is...
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