Is It Selfish To Put Yourself First
Nowadays I try to always put myself first. But sometimes the old me sneaks through.
You might be familiar with the version. I was a top-notch people pleaser, always there to make everyone happy, and to always make sure to avoid all confrontations. I would change into the type of person I thought the person I was with wanted me to be. I always made sure everyone around me was comfortable and happy. Does this sound familiar to you? Are you or have you been in the past a people pleaser?
This was a survival technique I learned from having to avoid the abusive behavior I experienced for most of my life. I lived like this for over 20 years but even after I removed myself from the situation it was such a habit, being in survival mode, that it took me a few more years to break free.
What happens to a person who does everything to please others, always takes care of others, and puts herself last?
They lose themselves, they don’t know what they like or enjoy, and they don’t know who they are because they’re so busy being someone else to make others happy.
This is what you call very stuck or very lost. It feels pretty shitty and is no fun whatsoever.
So I slowly taught myself to reconnect with me, my true self. I learned to trust myself again, and most importantly I learned to love exactly who I was in that moment all while striving to continue to improve and become and always be the best version of myself.
It was almost like getting to know myself for the first time, like a new identity.
It was hard, exciting, long, and difficult.
I’m happy to say I’m now kicking some serious ass in my life, I’m thriving!
I always put myself first because when you take care of yourself at a high level you then get to share that version with the rest of the world. Your kids, your partner, in your work, in your community. When you do this, everyone benefits. Doesn’t sound selfish at all when you think of it that way, right? (Mindset Shift)
Also, by putting myself first. Taking care of myself at the highest level. I know that people know how I expect to be treated. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Another benefit of putting yourself first.
Also, my kids see what I do they are always watching. They were there for it all and they now see the way I treat myself and how I’m not willing to put up with even the slightest bit of bullshit. They, in turn, can model this behavior. My kids are amazing and know how to treat and take care of themselves, they’re pretty damn amazing. Did I say that twice? Another benefit, and an amazing one, of putting yourself first.
Making the time and space for myself to always be able to check in and ask, what I need in this moment, is also another benefit of you know, putting myself first. It’s not hard and doesn’t take a lot of time yet, most of us don’t do this.
So yea, I love being selfish, I don't care what people think of me because I know doing this, living this way, it may not be the societal norm, but it’s right, I know it in my bones.
It helps everyone.
Also, when did societal norms ever support women?
If you’re feeling stuck in your life, maybe its a new thing, a transition in your life you're going through.
It could be a break-up, separation, or divorce.
It could be an empty nest, retirement, or recovery from an injury or sickness.
Or you could be like me and have been stuck for a while.
I’m here to tell you, I’ve made it through all of those things. Mostly the hard way or the long way. I’ve learned the lessons and made the mistakes. I learned what works and what doesn’t.
After I made it through I promised myself I would continue to learn and then teach others what I learned so they don’t have to take the long road or learn the hard lessons.
This is my purpose. It’s really important to me because I believe you and any other women who feel how I felt, stuck. They know they are not done, they have a huge amount of life, things they want to do and accomplish. They have a lot of life to live. These women, all of them have a purpose that's just as important as mine. When These women get unstuck and start living in their purpose, stepping into their power, well, this will change the world for the better. We need more of this right now.
When all these women reconnect with their true selves, make the commitment to get unstuck, and live into their purpose. They will have a more powerful impact, powerful impact on the world, their community, their kids, and everyone that they touch in their life.
I’m about to start a new coaching program in June called PURPOSE. I’ve been working on this project for a while. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to present it so that you could have the transformation needed. So this is what I decided to do.
You’ll spend 12 weeks with me going through 12+ steps I used to go from being stuck to thriving in my life. You’ll have weekly calls with me and included with this group coaching will be an online portion that you will have lifetime access to with video tutorials for the lessons, worksheets, journal prompts, meditations, and more.
Taking charge of your time and the creation of the experience I want to have in your life.
All of this is your choice and I would love to have you join me and reconnect with yourself and start to thrive and live in your purpose.
I would love to be a part of this journey and help guide you from your stuck to your version of thriving.
We will be starting June 19th, and registration is open as of today. This will be a combination of group and online program with weekly live coaching with me.
For the first 10 people who join me in the group there will be two bonuses included.
*5 Shifts To Get Your Power Back Masterclass
*7 Months of plant-forward meal plans ( Yes, we talk about how diet affects your energy) a $325 value
Are you ready to finally get unstuck and have the amazing life you know you are meant to have?
If this is calling you, I would love for you to be a part of the Purpose program. If you have any questions be sure to message me either by email, [email protected] or on Instagram @tinastinsoncoach
Remember this is your time, all you have to do is take the next step.