One of the most transformational things I learned to do was changing my perspective on the situations in my life.
The funny thing was, that I did it purely out of survival and didn't even realize it too much until it became a habit. I really would focus on trying to figure out why things, kinda crappy things, kept happening to me. I knew I needed to make a shift from this.
You see, I was dealing with so many stressful things at once that I had no choice to look at them differently. The only other choice I had was to spiral into panic and depression and this was unacceptable because I had 3 young children depending on me and me only.
I could go into deeply what I was dealing with but it doesn't really matter too much. People deal with stressful situations differently so something very stressful for me might be considered a walk in the park to you. What is important is feeling good with the place you are right now and to learn from those crappy situations as much as you can and to continue to move forward better for it.
I was under so much stress that I lost all the hair on the front of my head....I was in my 30's. It was intense!
So how did I get from bald and spiraling to a confident bad-ass mom?
I started analyzing every situation. Picking it apart helped me make it look less intimidating. This also sucked the drama out of it. Then I asked myself not why is this happening to me but why is this happening for me (This was the shift I needed). Most of the time I just told myself, “to make me stronger because I have to be strong to raise 3 kids by myself, right?”
As time passed I got better at it and realized every roadblock or disaster was just a learning experience or way for my life to re-direct me that always made me better and helped me grow.
After doing this for a few years I don't even have to go through this process in my head, it is now spontaneous. This just means I made it a habit.
This process while simple, saved my life, kept me going, and made me a stronger person. My outlook is almost always good. 2020 has definitely been challenging, but for me, the one message I got from this year was “Slow down, care for yourself, find joy, and care for others like you care for yourself. It's not about you, it's about us” “ We are all connected”. Here's some proof!
So to break down the process into steps:
Pick a situation that is happening to you right now that has been difficult. Write it down and include in detail how it makes you feel.
Now, ask yourself, why is this happening FOR me? Write down at least 3 reasons.
Then ask, what lessons can I learn from this and how will it change me for the better and affect myself and the people I love in a positive way?
How will I feel to adopt this more positive view?
Yes, It's that simple, and yes it works! This has been the most life-changing thing I've learned to do and it saves me over and over again in my life. Looking at things as lessons also helps you grow and mature as a person. It keeps you out of victim mode and you will be more responsible for your own actions.
Yes, sometimes the stuff that happens in life really sucks bad. But sitting in it and feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help you at all.
Use this process to reset your outlook and start making it a habit.
As the wonderful Wayne Dyer is famous for saying “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Xo and love, T
P.S. For more information on how to work with Tina in a private or group setting, check out these two opportunities.
Health and Life Coach
Culinary Nutrition Instructor
Reiki Level 1