I had something come up this week while practicing stillness as a part of my Mind Body & Soul Reset program.
This was one of the challenges this week for everyone in the program including myself.
To sit in stillness doing nothing. No phone, reading, social media, music, nothing.
We started with 5 minutes because I know this can be super challenging for me, a perpetual doer, it must also be hard for others, right?
So I’ve been going outside every day to my sitting spot, I take my shoes off to also make sure I ground. Even in stillness, I’m multitasking.
I sit there and do nothing. I close my eyes and listen to the birds, the creek running. It’s so relaxing. When my mind wanders to my schedule and what I should be doing I bring it back to focus on the birds and the creek.
So I had two breakthroughs. First, the 5 minutes went by sooo fast, so I stayed there longer. I was surprised at how crazy fast 5 minutes were. I loved it. Afterward, as a part of the Reset program, we are supposed to write out our feelings and what comes up and reverse any negative beliefs or feelings.
This is where the second breakthrough came up. I always feel the need to be doing because I attach it to my worth. I have to always be doing something of value to feel valuable. So part of my exercise was to start to reverse this bullshit belief.
I am allowed to just be.
I am allowed to sit and do nothing.
I will always be worthy.
I will always be enough.
I just need to be me.
I just need to be.
I think allowing ourselves to just be and to sit in stillness with no expectations gives us the space to rest and restore. If we are not at rest even when we are supposed to be at rest then we are not getting that space. This will drain us and create stress in our everyday lives.
This is what I was doing to myself. I would sit to rest on the couch but not without a book where I could learn something, or a podcast to listen to. I put so much pressure on myself to learn more, do more, and create more, when will it ever be enough? I was doing myself to death.
I would go out to my garden and always bring my phone just in case someone needs me.
I was NOT giving myself even a small space to exhale or breathe.
This was definitely an aha moment. Now I know that I need this space I will be more intentional about creating it for myself. Soon this will become a habit. I can’t wait until it's a habit. Because I'm telling you it feels good to do nothing. It feels good to just sit with myself.
I learn so much working with all the lovely people I get to work with every day.
The Reset program is always a transformative journey for me. Every time I do it, I transform, I do better for myself, I evolve and learn to embody the woman I’m always becoming.
This week's self-care practice is for you to sit in stillness and do nothing, starting with 5 minutes. Then write in your journal about what came up for you. Be patient. It can sometimes be hard at first or you may feel silly. Do it anyway. It’s magical.
P.S. To get on the waitlist for the next Mind Body & Soul RESET in the fall head over HERE. You’ll be the first notified when it opens.