Deep Level Self Care Series: Becoming The Master Of Your Emotions (Activity included in post)
This week’s topic is another powerful lesson I learned in my life where without it, nothing would have changed. I would still be in victim mode, still be in a constant state of stress, still battling health issues.
Learning how to experience difficult emotions and move through them without letting them take over my whole life experience was what helped me heal from years of being in a horrible relationship, and be able to control my stress levels and stop my panic attacks.
One of the most empowering things I learned through this is that every person is different and every person needs to figure out what works for them.
It’s very similar to eating a healthy diet, every person's body is different and they have different nutritional needs to help them create health.
What works for me to control stress might not work for others and that goes for anxiety, sadness, and anger.
This is a process of embracing the emotions as they come into your life and learning what you need to learn from them and then figuring out how to give yourself comfort as you move through and release them. If we don’t learn how to do this, we can get stuck in an uncomfortable state. I spent years like this and it took a devastating toll on my health.
The good news is our bodies are amazing and when you create the right atmosphere for them, they heal.
Another important point I want to make is that doing this type of work is a part of a healthy lifestyle. It's not a one-and-done kinda practice where you do it and then your de-stressed for life. Just like eating healthy and exercising, you need to practice this type of self-care daily by knowing what your needs are and giving yourself the type of care you need.
I’m the type of person that is naturally high-strung. I like to be always doing something creative and can sometimes overdo things. I’m very passionate about my work and my family. Just being aware of my tendency to overwork and get stressed out is a huge step to being able to care for myself. I know that I have to check in with myself daily and ask myself what I need on that day and then make it happen. Even if this means doing nothing and resting. This is so hard for me.
So what type of person are you? Do you overwork? Are you a people pleaser? Do you give too much to others and little to nothing to yourself?
This is where you start. By being aware of what your tendencies are. Then figure out what you need to keep yourself healthy and happy.
One of the things I do with my clients is have them ask themselves how much they respect themselves on a scale of 1-10. Having respect for yourself and your needs is one of the most important things to know and if needed build up.
It’s about not judging yourself if you need more downtime than other people you know or maybe you're more sensitive.
I look at these parts of myself now and see them as superpowers. I can be overly sensitive to other people's energy and take on their anxiety as my own. I also get stressed super easy. These two things allow me to connect with people and my clients on a deeper level and make me completely aware of how they are feeling and how I can help them. It helps me be a better coach, friend, and mom.
The key part is knowing how to manage and master your emotions.
How you are is never a bad thing. You’re perfect exactly as you are. Getting to know all the parts of yourself embracing them and nurturing them is your job.
So how do you figure out how to handle all of these big and sometimes annoying emotions?
It's all about testing out different modalities that help with these emotions and seeing what helps you the most. Then you create a toolbox that you can turn to when needed.
Today I’ll share what works for me as an example and this can give you a starting point.
When I’m angry the most effective thing that works for me is some kind of vigorous movement. What helps me the most is running. I love running and it helps me release the energy that builds up in my body when I’m angry. A walk in nature helps me with both, anger and stress. But sometimes I just need the run
What I had to learn is that this doesn’t work for me when I’m stressed. It makes me more stressed because running stresses my body. Yoga works well for stress, a calm practice. Breathwork works well for me for stress and anxiety.
I would say out of all my practices, breathwork has made the most profound difference in my health. It helped me lower my blood pressure and get off blood pressure medicine completely.
When I’m sad it helps me to allow myself to embrace the sadness for a little bit, to cry, watch a sad movie, cry as much as I can, and then move out of it. Again, it’s a release of energy. Nothing else really works when I’m sad.
Tapping is also good for anxiety but I always need to do breathwork first.
As you can see, I’ve spent some time learning what works for me, I’ve tried many other things, but the ones I mentioned here are a part of my everyday life.
Now it’s your turn, what are your tendencies, and your superpowers, how can you support yourself through difficult emotions? What is going to be in your toolbox?
It can be helpful to try one thing at a time and take notes on how it helps or doesn’t. As I said earlier, running helps me with anger but not for stress. It doesn’t mean running can’t be in my toolbox. It just means there is a time and a place to use it.
Also, it takes time to figure all this stuff out. Be patient with yourself and be open to try new things.
One of the funniest things I tried was for my panic attacks. I started having them only while driving and it was triggered by wide-open high-up spaces. So the first time it happened was when I was driving over a bridge with my youngest daughter in the car. I never had a problem with bridges so I thought it was something to do with my health like another stroke or heart attack. I lost my breath, my heart was pounding, and my hands, chest, and edges of my face were tingling. My only focus was to get over the bridge safely without scaring my daughter and not pass out. I took a few deep breaths and it started to go away and obviously, we both made it through.
It continued to happen in different places, all high up, all wide open. So I avoided these places. I truly believe after this the panic attacks were triggered by my fear of having another panic attack.
I tried it all, deep breathing, and distractions, but the weirdest thing I tried was pretending that someone I admire for being very strong and powerful was with me when I experienced these panic attacks and that they were there to support me. A lot of the suggestions were kinda religious which does not resonate with me at all. They said to have your angels with you. I was like no, this does not resonate with me.
Now I mean no disrespect for anyone who is religious and who this might work for you. But it just didn’t resonate for me. So I decided to have some fun with it and had the character Michael the archangel that John Travolta played in the movie Michael be with me in the car to keep me safe from the heights. I’m not sure why this worked but it did. If you know the character from the movie he was inappropriate, funny, and a little spicy. So picturing John Travolta sitting with me in my car with his big angel wings smoking a cigarette bounced me out of the panic attack. Go figure?
I share this very weird but funny story with you to emphasize to be open to trying anything.
Now, I still get a little anxious when I drive but it’s nothing a few deep breaths and some loud music can’t cure. Maybe sometimes, John Travolta. I still avoid the Blue Ridge Mountain range going into Charlotte NC. I’m not ready to test that one out yet, lol.
It’s a process but thankfully, no more panic attacks.
I hope this inspires you to create your Tool Box. When you know in your heart that you can handle all the ups and downs that come your way with a healthy response and not by constantly reacting to life, everything calms down. You can get yourself out of fight or flight and into a state of calm and confidence.
All of these deep-level self-care practices that I’ve been sharing with you over the last couple of weeks are what I coach inside the Soul Aligned Self Care Bootcamp.
I’m sharing them as an inside look or introduction to the launch of the program that I’ll be doing with you live, starting in mid-January.
If you’re ready to take care of yourself at this deep level start to connect with your authentic self and accept her lovingly as you step into living your life with your self-defined purpose. This is exactly how the Bootcamp will guide and support you.
Once you are in, you have lifetime access to all the lessons and tools and the coaching.
I have an amazing coupon running right now with a great discount. Every week until we start in January I will have a new coupon code.
This week’s, like I said is amazing.
Here is the link to register and the coupon code to use is, WEEK2SASC
Register here: https://www.tinastinson.com/aligned-worthy-ps
Lots of love and care