This is more than just a blog post, it's also a take action, kick-butt workbook! If you want a printable copy head over to www.tinastinson.com and you can download this right on the front page!
Also, want to connect with like-minded women that want to thrive in their second half? Join the Facebook Group, Empowering Women at 40 and beyond.
Everything we are surrounded with throughout our whole life gives us the impression that once we reach mid-life as women we are past our prime, old and worn out, and that we are at some kind of an endpoint.
Media and advertising lead us to believe that aging is not good and we should do everything in our power to stop and delay it.
It might make us feel unappreciated, somewhat invisible, overwhelmed, and just plain tired.
Well excuse my French but this is complete bullshit. Mid-Life is just the beginning and can be a fresh exciting start.
You've raised your kids and they're fabulous mini-adults, some women have conquered their careers and might be looking for a new one, some even might be in the middle of a separation or divorce which always leads to a new start. This can be exciting and scary at the same time.
You get to dig deep, re-visit who you are at the core, and move forward with all the knowledge you've gained throughout your whole life thus far. This is exciting and you are absolutely ready to rock your second half!
I hear women say all the time I wish I could back to my younger self with all the knowledge I have now and do everything over. I say, the experience you gained from your life is invaluable and you should use it now to move forward with complete confidence and power into midlife.
This is your time, right now!
Use these tips as a springboard into your new beginning!
~Look at where you are right now and how you are feeling~
Ask yourself these questions to get started.
Have you lost your zest for life?
Action step: Write out on paper exactly how you are feeling, put in every detail, and don't hold back. Use all those descriptive words that might make you cringe.
Affirmation: I acknowledge how I feel and I completely love and support myself. I'm proud that I'm taking the first steps to improve my life now.
Notes: It's important to actually write everything down. Acknowledging where you are right now, and then at some point in the future looking back at how far you've come will give you the confidence to move forward. So grab a cheap notebook and label it, Mid-Life Magic, and get started!
Tips: On question number 2, never compare yourself to other women. We all have such different paths and experiences, so there is no comparing. Always support and build each other up. Believe it or not, we are all in this together.
~Re-Visit what brings you joy~
We as women get so busy with our family, careers, relationships, and sometimes the care of a parent. We can easily lose track of the things we used to enjoy. It's not just the big things like hobbies and traveling. It's the little things too. A walk in nature, a quiet cup of coffee with a book. We tell ourselves we don't have time.
Before you know it, we are going through our lives unconsciously not even aware that we aren't having too much fun, we lose our sense of self, you know that fun lady you used to know:) Now it's time for you to make time and find her.
Action step: Write down the things that brought you joy during the different stages of your life, anything you can remember.
During the Elementary years, Teen Years, Your Twenties, Your Thirties, Your Forties, Your Fifties, Your Sixties, And Currently.
Write down whatever your first thought is and don't question it. Don't judge yourself... just shut that voice down quickly. Remember this is your list, not your spouse's or your children's.
Now, look at your lists and circle all the things that repeat or that are in common.
Consider re-visiting these things now. Don't just say you will either do it right at this moment or schedule it. Success comes in your actions.
Affirmation: I am on a journey to get to know myself again and I love who I am!
Tips: Make a point to look at this list every day to remind yourself to add joy to every day. To make it easier, take a post-it, write your list on there, and put it on the fridge.
~Create a path where you feel lit up~
Some of the things we talked about in the last step are things that really make you feel a lit up inside when you're doing them. It's the feeling as if you're in a flow, time passes quickly and it's amazing how much you get done. It could be something simple like painting watercolor or something more complicated like volunteering to support abused women. Either way, it lights you up!
These are the things you need to focus on and also need to spend the majority of your time doing. I understand, we all have responsibilities. This is true but, you can start shifting your life in a way to make things that bring you joy to become your responsibilities. This can take time but if not now, then when??
To create more space for yourself, be aware of the things that are energy suckers, things, or people that make you feel crappy and tired. Remove or mitigate these things from your life immediately. I don't know about you but I have no time for this crap, I'm heading into my second half! Either ditch it, delegate it, or do it! If it's not a hell yes, it's a no.
Action step: Make a list of all the things, people, and situations that energy vampires. Write at least 1-3 ways you can Ditch, delegate, or do these things without them sucking the life out of you.
Affirmation: I control the energy that enters into my space and I protect it like my life depends on it, because it does. My life is filled with positive energy.
Tips: Pay attention to what enters your life and space continuously throughout the day. Take care of the energy suckers and praise the positive vibes. If you do this consistently it will become a habit.
~Reset your health and wellness~
We as women always focus on taking care of everyone else and often fall short on taking care of ourselves. Keep in mind if we fail to care for ourselves we will not be able to care for others. At some point, we burn out. To get started we will look at these topics:
Eating Real Food
What is real food? Well, it's food that grows from the Earth, and food that has no label or under 5 ingredients which are real food. This is really simple but not easy to do. It does involve a bit of cooking or a meal service. Eating real food can be life-changing in many ways. It improves your health, energy, skin, hair, brain function, weight, and many other things.
If you have any health conditions go over these steps with your primary doctor first.
Affirmation: Food is my medicine and I am what I eat. I love myself so i care for myself.
Being active can help you control your weight, relieve stress and anxiety, improve energy, and reduce the risk of disease. It is natural for us as humans to be active, so find something you love and do more of it!
Affirmation: Movement is life. I give myself life by the movements I take. I love my body and am grateful for how it supports me.
Tips: If you're not a normally active person and don't know what to try. Make a list of a bunch of things like the one above and try them one at a time. See what feels the best and that would easy to do daily. Even a 5-minute walk is a start.
Get outside every day
I know this can be hard when you work indoors or also during winter weather. Making a point to even be outside, even for 5 minutes, can make a difference in your mood. You are a living being that needs sunshine to feel good and to grow. Think of yourself as if you were a plant that needs the sun, water, and fresh air to grow and thrive.
Affirmation: My body needs the sunshine and fresh air to thrive and grow. When I connect with nature I connect with myself.
Tips: Don't be afraid to take a walk in the rain or snow. It can really make you feel alive!
Be sure to spend time with, talk to, or write to your friends and family every day. Connection is one of the basic human needs and is very important to connect with the people in your life. This is one of the most important pieces of the health and wellness puzzle.
Tips: Don't put this off for another day, just do it. You have no idea how your life and the lives of others can improve when you do. It's magical!
Affirmation: The people I choose to have in my life are loved and it's important to let them know this.
De-stress and self-care
Most of the things we have talked about so far could be considered de-stressors and self-care. You will find if you don't continuously look at the ways you spend your time and reset how you might be doing things you become unbalanced. Just like riding a bicycle becomes habitual, where you don't even have to think about the balance, it just happens, you need to form this same habit with self-care in your life.
Affirmation: I pay attention to the things that help me thrive because I deserve the very best.
Tips: Do these health and wellness steps one a time so you don't become overwhelmed.
~Love yourself exactly as you are~
If you love yourself exactly the way you are, unapologetically, everyone else will follow suit. Going back to the first step, learning about the things we love definitely helps, you learn more about who you are. Here are a few more questions to ask yourself.
These can be signs that you're not in alignment with yourself and are questioning who you are.
Affirmation: I am enough, I've always been enough, and now that I know I'm enough, everyone knows I'm enough.
~Don't focus on perfection in your life, just progress~
It is not healthy for us as humans to stand still and to be stagnant. Remember, movement is life. It's human nature to want to learn and grow throughout our entire life and this should never stop. It is your job to feed and nourish this desire and keep your mind and imagination alive. I'll share more on dreaming later, right now, let's focus on reigniting our desire to learn new things and have fun doing them.
Action: Make a list of 100 things you always wanted to learn. Then read, investigate, and figure out how to do one of those things. Do It! When you're done with that, move onto the next thing on the list. Keep Going.
Tips: Some of these things might be scary and uncomfortable. You might say, "I don't really want to do this." Keep going! Just remember this is the brain's ways of trying to protect you and that sometimes we need to override that. Ask yourself "Is this a feeling of terror or is it just fear of the unknown." If you're just nervous, move forward and remember that on the other side of fear and discomfort is where the magic happens!
Affirmation: I have the courage to do anything I want. Nothing will hold me back from living my dreams. I am strong, independent, and courageous. My fears will not stand in the way of my goals.
Gratitude is scientifically proven to improve relationships, physical health, psychological health, empathy, and self-esteem. It also can reduce anger.
Let's not forget that like attracts like so it's a great place to get started
when you're trying to improve your energy and vibe.
Action: Every day, pick a time of the day that works best for you. Some people do this when they first wake up, some before bed. Write out at least 5 things you are grateful for that day or the day before. Nothing is too big or small. It's fine to be grateful for your morning coffee!
Tips: It's great to always be grateful for your family but always search for things that happened during that day or the day before that made your life more wonderful.
Affirmation: I am learning to be grateful for what I have while being excited for what has yet to come.
Don't sit around and wait for things to become great, don't complain if you have a problem with no solution, make one, If you want something, go get it. No one is going to do these things for you. If you want something to happen take action.
Tips: This is also something that is quite simple to write out but difficult to follow through. The point is if you want change you need to take action trying different things until you reach your goal. Don't expect to read this guide, agree with the steps, say and think how great it would be, and then take no action.
Take Action Now!!
Affirmation: My life is a reflection of the actions I take. I lead my day with purpose, passion, and powerful action.
~With love and encouragement~
I hope that you enjoyed and take action on the steps within this guide. It is my hope that all women see how amazing and strong they truly are and how they are capable of the most impressive accomplishments!
We must all learn to dream again. Do you remember that little girl who could build a skyscraper for her stuffed animals and be a rockstar all in the same day?
This is the girl you need to find and re-ignite! Wake her up, I know she's in there.
P.S. You can also download this post as a printable workbook on the front page of my website.
Xo from one rockstar to another, T
Certified Holistic Health Coach
Certified Life and Life Purpose Coach
Certified Culinary nutrition Expert and Instructor
Reiki Level 1