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Surface & Deep Level Self Care & Why You Need Both

self care tips self love Oct 02, 2023

The Difference Between Surface & Deep Level Self Care & Why You Need Both

When I share what I do with the world I always share that I’m a Deep-Level Self-Care & Mindset Coach. When I say this I know that most people don’t know what I mean by that and think, “Why would I need a Self Care Coach?”.

Today I want to talk about the difference between surface-level self-care and deep-level self-care and why you need both of these infused into your daily life in order to put the best and healthiest version of yourself with the world. 

First, let’s define surface-level self-care. These are things like the bubble bath, getting your nails done, spending some time outside, and lunch with a friend. 

This type of self-care is important but will not have any lasting effect on your life if you're not taking care of yourself on a deeper level.

Deep-level self-care is working on yourself at a deeper level. For example, setting and maintaining boundaries in order to protect your time and energy. Learning to manage your emotions in order to respond to situations rather than react, Also, reconnecting with your true self and intuition instead of bouncing every decision you make off of another person or societal expectations. 

These two types of self-care are bother needed and are equally important for living a happy stress stress-free life. You really can’t have one without the other. 

As an example, I can take a bubble bath and in that moment I might get some stress relief and be able to relax but if I don’t know how to manage my emotions then I can be thrown right back into a state of high stress in any given moment. 

Once I’ve mastered managing my emotions, then the effects of the bubble bath can have a lasting effect and can even compound into a deeper connection with myself. I can deepen my self-love for myself. 

Likewise, when you learn to connect with yourself on a deep level and really tune into your intuition. You learn to trust yourself and all the decisions you make every day. You don’t question your choices or let your decisions be affected by outside pressures either from society's expectations or the pressure from friends and family. You make confident decisions based on how deeply you know yourself and your needs.

As you can see, both types of self-care are needed in your daily life in order to keep yourself happy and healthy. 

So, how do you get started? I think the first step is to just make the decision to put yourself first. 

When I said that was your first thought, Well that sounds pretty selfish.

If it was, I want you to think of it this way first. What version of yourself would be better for your family? Your partner? Your business? Your career? To share with the world? 


  1. A stressed as fuck version who is cranky and snaps at everyone? She’s tired and can’t make clear confident decisions. She keeps getting sick because she is stressed and doesn’t sleep well.
  2. A relaxed and happy version who has had enough rest and fun in her life to share that with the world. She can easily manage her emotions and makes clear decisions that are aligned with her authentic self. 


This is why putting yourself first is not selfish and if you would like to read another article I wrote that was published in Tiny Buddha, 3 Reasons Why Putting Yourself First Is NOT Selfish, you can read it HERE.

I hope I can shift your mindset about the type and amount of self-care you allow into your life. 

If you would like a next step of how you can add more into your life then you can check out the podcast, Soul Aligned Self Care. I cover many topics that will help you on this journey. 


Lots of love and care,

Xo, T


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