Another Hard Lesson For Me From the Universe
This is the second time the universe is trying to teach me this lesson. I’m not going to lie, I thought I had it down. I mean this is what I teach other people so I should have it down pretty well, right? I mean, I feel pretty damn good most of the time.
Question: Am I so used to the way anxiety feels in my body that I don’t even realize I’m anxious?
The first time I learned this lesson was when I had a stroke caused by stress when I was 39. So I learned my lesson which was, It’s not just about what you eat and how much you exercise. It’s about taking care of your stress levels too. It was a hard lesson but I worked really hard at reducing my stress and anxiety, I tried everything and it worked. I felt so much better. I started coaching others on how I did this, what worked, and how I made it a habit.
I suppose I did not take into consideration the absolute chaos the world seems to have experienced over the past couple of years.. and counting. I’ve been working on this too. Reducing my exposure to media, also my exposure to anything for that matter that doesn't serve me including but not limited to unpleasant family members. I know you can relate, right?
I’m obviously not doing enough or I need something different. My body is talking to me very loudly saying, “Pay attention to me, I’m not doing good”.
I always say the universe will keep sending you the same hard lessons until you learn what you need to learn. It’s kinda like when you keep dating the same “NOT For You” man and you’re like, “Why universe do you keep sending me this prototype, why???”
Same thing. So here I am having the same lesson thrown at me and what I’m hearing is.
You’re not done yet, you need to learn more, go deeper, and do it now!
So here I am on another journey to discover how to reduce and control my anxiety.
The second lesson: A few weeks ago I wasn’t feeling the greatest. I was getting a lot of headaches and thought it was my sinuses. I have a lot of issues with my sinuses.
So I got some meds and felt somewhat better but not quite right. I mean, I never get headaches and this was becoming a regular thing.
My head would just pound and pound with my heartbeat. So I decided to take my blood pressure and whoa, it was high. Around 16? Over 10? I can’t remember the exact numbers but it was scary high.
I did this on a Friday and took my BP all weekend with no real change. It went down a little, but not much.
So I went to the doc on Monday and she did an EKG which was abnormal… whatever that means. So she gave me meds to lower my BP and sent me to the Cardiologist and he sent me for a Nuclear Stress Test and an Echo.
On a side note, what the actual Fuc* with that name, “nuclear stress test”. That name stresses me out. Waiting the two weeks for my ominous nuclear stress test was so fucking stressful. I obviously didn’t need that shit so I suggested to the doc that they should rename the test to a “heart health study”.
That sounds a whole less intimidating for sure. I think it’s a phenomenal idea.
I also had to wear a heart monitor for a week and a pulse ox thingy (Technical term) for a day. I had the whole spa treatment.
So long story short. Today I found out everything was great, nothing is wrong. Except for my high BP. After talking for a while the doc he thought I should get a watch that tracks my heart rate and rhythm. Also, chill the fuck out, not his exact words.
Can you believe this, the same lesson but a lot less dramatic than the last one so I guess you could say I’m lucky.
So here I go again on a journey to discover how to expand and go deeper on how to release and control anxiety.
I’m going to take you all along with me by writing about it monthly on the blog.
So if you have anxiety or you feel stressed all the time, join me on my journey. I’m going to share it all. Everything I try, and everything I learn. What works and what doesn’t?
One of the first ways I responded to my high BP was, I was pissed! I do everything I can to support my health. I felt kinda betrayed by my body. But then I realized after talking to a few people that it’s quite the opposite. My body is warning me, protecting me, telling me to take care of something now.
So the first lesson for all of us is, to listen to our bodies.
The second thing I thought was, will I have to change my diet, will I have to stop running? Please no! This is a huge part of my life identity. I love running. Over the past two weeks, I decided whether I had to give up running or not. I was going to add exercise into my life that does not put so much stress on the body.
While running reduces the stress I have in my mind, It puts my body into fight or flight, stress on my body.
So I don’t have to stop. I just need to rethink it a bit.
The first plan of action for me is to make a stress & anxiety reduction plan. An outline of sorts of everything I want to try. Then I’m going to create a spreadsheet of what works and what doesn’t. Except I’ll hire someone to do that part. I hate spreadsheets. My first step toward less stress, lol.
In closing, I feel lucky, relieved, happy, and a little bit excited to expand my knowledge to take care of myself at the highest level and to share this with you and my clients.
Until next month,