Choosing You - Being Authentically Yourself

For this week's Monday Self-Care Challenge, I talked shortly about being authentically yourself very simply because it's easier. You don’t have to TRY to be a certain way you just ARE a certain way. Much easier, right?

There is obviously more to it than that but this is a good way to think about it. 

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Starting when I was younger because there was some stress in my household I became the people pleaser. I hated confrontation and my motto was, avoid confrontation at all costs. As I got older I mastered the art of people pleasing. This was not a good thing.

The way I behaved in any relationship was, I’m going to be whatever I think this person wants me to be so I can make this person as comfortable as possible to remove any chance of friction in this relationship. Over time when you do this you lose your connection with yourself, you don’t know who you are anymore and in turn, it’s hard to have any solid authentic relationships.

People can feel this on an energetic level and always keep a protective distance in the relationship.

I learned over time that these friendships/relationships I had were built on lies that I made up to protect myself. 

I also learned that in order to have an honest strong relationship with anyone you have to have this with yourself first. 

Being authentically you is about honoring yourself, and the things you love, and sharing that with the world around you. When you do this, the right people will surround you and the people who don’t belong in your life will fall away. 

I do realize it can sound scary to think about people leaving your life but it does not usually happen in a dramatic fashion It’s usually over time and is also usually mutual.

So no need to worry about that.

Some of the things that you can expect when you start showing up as yourself are:

• Less stress and anxiety
• Deeper relationships
• More honesty in your life
• You set a great example for others to follow
• Your happier 
• You experience more flow and ease in your life and less friction.

One way to recognize when you're not being yourself is when you start to sift a behavior or opinion in order to:

• Make someone else comfortable
• To avoid conflict with another person or even violence.
• Because you're afraid someone might not agree or like you.
• You want to be included in a social circle that you are not usually associated with.

Some of the ways you can start to shift into your more authentic self are:

• Bring awareness to any situations in that you feel you’re acting this way.
• Start making small shifts to being your true self. Small shifts are less scary and an easier way to make changes.
• If this is a good friend that you want to start being your authentic self around and you have a really good relationship with. Just be you 100%. Most people will surprise you and accept every part of you.
• If you feel like you’re in a threatening situation, remove yourself if possible and avoid having further contact. (I do realize there are many situations where this is not possible and it can be a matter of safety. Please call the Domestic Violence Hotline at (800-799-7233)

I believe the first step, awareness, is sometimes the only step you need to create the momentum in your life you need to step into your authentic self. The feeling of flow you experience when you're in alignment with yourself is so fantastic that it's somewhat addictive. The more in flow you are, the more you want to be yourself for every second of your life.

So look at the different relationships in your life and ask yourself, are you in alignment with yourself when you're with this person? If not, then how can you start to be? 

Being completely comfortable in your own skin when you're around your partner, friends, family, and business colleagues not only creates amazing relationships but also more flow and ease in every area of your life.

Be sure to find the journal prompts for this week's blog, podcast, and live right here: 

As always, remember to always add deep-level self-care into your life daily.

Xo, T

P.S. Sign up for the 2023 Free SASC Masterclass Series Here>>https://www.tinastinson.com/soul-aligned-self-care-masterclass-series