Self-Care Isn’t Solo: Why Women Need Each Other More Than Ever

Ditching the lone warrior myth, real power comes from sisterhood

Right now, more than ever, women need each other, not in theory, but in tangible, heart-centered connection. We’ve spent too long holding the weight alone, believing that needing support means we’ve failed. What if instead we embraced community as our source of true power?

Every week in my Patreon community I do a card pull from a deck. The card deck I'm using right now is called the Feminine Wisdom Oracle. This week's card was the Grounding Card. Yes, it talks about being in the here and now and uses a tree as a symbol. With the branches reaching out and the roots spreading wide underground, which creates its strength, it's no wonder this card is used as a symbol for grounding.

But what if there is a whole lot more to this? Trees are a part of an underground community that offers and receives support not just from other trees, but also other living species. They support each other unconditionally, taking care of each other, making sure everyone is well fed and getting enough sunshine.

What if this symbolism of grounding goes a whole lot deeper, representing the support we give and receive in community, with other humans, with nature? After all, this is where we come from as humans. We used to be much more connected to the rhythms of nature and I believe we need to return to this. Not just in community with each other as humans but also with the community that is ready and waiting for us in nature.

We have more support than we realize. Today I want to talk about one aspect of this: women supporting other women in community. I believe we need this now more than ever. We are in dire need of support, and some of us have almost completely lost one of the most profound, powerful connections we have available to us, other women.

Why Community-Based Wellness Matters (Backed by Research)

I remember when I was a kid, my house was the house for all of the holidays and get-togethers. When we were all together, there were probably around 30 or more people. We had big meals, all the cousins played, we were connected. We shared stories, rituals, and supported each other.

Now, we are all spread out all over the world. We barely ever get together, and I don't even know my cousins’ children. This has happened to a lot of families, and I believe that some of the kids growing up today have never experienced this. So when I see them beating themselves up for having a hard time just surviving, and when I see the older generations calling them lazy and whiny, it makes me so angry.

The younger generations coming after us DID NOT have a lot of these almost invisible support systems the majority of us had. When I say invisible, I mean they were so normal for us that we didn’t even know they were privileges.

The hope I see always comes from my kids. I see them creating this for themselves with their friends. They are creating their own families of choice. But this does not just happen. The way I experienced this was, it just was. We were family and they were just there. Now, you have to be intentional in creating community for yourself.

These are some of the benefits:

• Shared rituals and routines bring structure and peace. Regular rituals, like mindful coffee breaks, intentional journaling, or communal check-ins, help curb anxiety, reduce burnout, and improve focus and well-being.
• Well-being flourishes collectively. Studies highlight that community-level initiatives rooted in empowerment, connection, and shared purpose have significant positive impacts on mental and physical health. Strong social infrastructure prevents decline better than individual treatment alone.
• Rituals strengthen bonds and resilience. Rituals promote emotional regulation and a sense of belonging. In groups, they replenish connection and trust, rooted in the concept of communitas, where ritual overrides isolation.

Lessons from Okinawa: The Power of Moai

I fell in love with Blue Zones as a health coach ages ago. It just makes sense to me. You have all of these people living long, and actively. They all live in different places, but they all have these things in common, and community is one of the things. This information is coming straight from the Blue Zones website; I've included a link below:

In Okinawa, one of the famed Blue Zones known for extraordinary longevity, women (and men) don’t journey through life alone. From childhood, they’re initiated into small, intentional friendship pods called moai, typically made up of four to six members who commit to supporting each other for life.

These groups go far beyond casual social circles. Together they share laughter and grief, gather weekly to connect, pool resources for life’s emergencies, and even offer emotional and financial support across generations.

Dr. Dan Buettner, who popularized the Blue Zones concept, described meeting a moai group with a combined age exceeding 450 years. If one member ever missed a gathering, the others donned kimonos and went to check on them personally. This closeness fostered mutual accountability, reduced stress, and gave every person a real safety net of belonging.

Research shows that strong social connections like those formed in moai groups buffer loneliness, support emotional well-being, and even contribute to physical longevity.

What’s most striking is how this deep-rooted support is woven seamlessly into everyday life, over cups of tea, shared walking paths, and decades of consistent presence. It’s a vivid example of how belonging, mutual care, and small-scale rituals can shape a life of resilience, well-being, and radiant longevity.

Visit Blue Zones to learn more: https://www.bluezones.com/

The Myth of "Doing It All Alone" and Why It’s Dangerous

I was a victim of this and it nearly killed me. After my divorce I had to start over. I hadn’t worked outside of the house in at least ten years. I had three kids, one teen and two small. I had little to no support. The father was checked out, and my family was 2 ½ hours away.

I had a few friends that understood, but a lot of them were married and had no clue how hard this is. I had to start a new career outside of the home, take care of three kids almost by myself, and also the house and all the other things that come with life.

Long story short, I had a stroke caused by stress. I had an artery in my neck tear. I literally popped a vein.

Modern culture often tells us that independence equals success, and asking for help means failure. Here are three reasons this belief is false:

• Humans are wired for connection. Isolation triggers stress and loneliness; belonging soothes the nervous system and fosters healing.
• Well-being is enriched by shared knowledge. Collective experiences offer emotional resonance, insight, and creative strategies that solo effort often misses.
• Support doesn’t weaken you, it strengthens you. True resilience is built through shared care, mutual nurturing, and reciprocal trust.

Five Ways to Begin Building Your Women’s Circle This Week

I've been lucky enough to have a women’s circle gathering right down the road from my house. I call this lucky because where I live is very, very rural, and finding something like this is like finding a diamond in a shale pit.

It’s pretty new to me, but what I've experienced so far has been so wonderful and has definitely added to my life in such a positive way. These women are examples from all walks of life, all ages, and they are strong, caring, kind, and beautiful in every way.

The more I go, the more I realize that this is something that is needed in the world women are experiencing today. We are being attacked on all fronts right now and we need to support and build each other up more than ever. It’s important not just for us as women, but also for our kids and all the generations to come.

If you can't find something like this in your community, you can always start your own. Here are some ways you can start:

1. Host a "Community Wellness Check-In." Invite a few women to gather via Zoom or a park bench for an open conversation: how are you, what do you need, how can we support each other?
2. Start a shared ritual. Begin a weekly coffee break, mindful walk, or journaling morning with another woman.
3. Create a shared wellness playlist or affirmation thread. Each day, one member contributes a self-care tip or affirmation.
4. Swap stories and healing remedies. Create a small group chat where you share what’s helping, recipes, remedies, resources.
5. Offer a one-off shared experience. Host a simple creative gathering, painting, cooking, or writing, held online or in real life, to simply be and breathe together.

Restoring Our Full Power

This is how we reclaim our power, not through solo hustle, but through shared resilience. Community grounds us, nurtures trust, and amplifies our courage. We rise stronger, wiser, and lighter, together.

If you don't have a supportive community right now, I hope this blog inspires you to start something new. Start anywhere you can. Even some online communities can be powerful, so don’t write them off. I do believe, though, that having in-person community support is the way to go, and no matter where I am in the world, I will very intentionally make sure I create this for myself and others.

Coming Soon: End-of-Summer Women’s Retreat

I’m so excited to invite you to share in an end-of-summer retreat I'm designing just for us. It will be a nurturing space of connection, creative expression, and group healing rituals. Let’s deepen our rituals, tell our stories, and come home to our fierce, collective feminine power.

Details to come, stay tuned.

Right now, I'm in the planning stage. If you're interested, I would love to hear from you. I'm focusing on trying to get a tally on how many women will want to come, so let me know if this interests you. It will most likely be end of summer 2026 in the Catskill area of New York.

📩 Email me at [email protected] with subject line RETREAT.

Xo,
T