I don't know about you, but the beginning of this year, up until now, has definitely
been centered around healing and calming my nervous system.
I feel that this is what is needed for me right now, and it seems to be needed by a majority
of the population.
For me, it's about taking charge of my emotional state, my energy state, and keeping it steady,
even though there might be a lot going on around me, and society, and maybe also in your
personal space.
I feel if I can master this, if I can really get it down, then I'll be able to handle
the stress surrounding me in a healthy way without disrupting my nervous system.
How many of you are feeling this way right now?
Every day, it just seems like something new pops up, and if we continuously react to it,
we'll be in a constant state of fight or flight.
So today's topic, I'm going to be talking about having spaces for yourself personal spaces
to rest, heal, and recharge, creating your own personal sanctuaries in all the spaces of
your life.
Let's get into it.
You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout
that shook my world.
Now I'm laying it all out, the deep-level self-care practices and mindset shifts that
I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving.
Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and a soul's journey to
alignment.
This is where real conversations about deep-level self-care happen.
Let's get into it.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I want to thank you for joining me.
I'm so glad that you're here with me today.
This is one of my most favorite topics.
I've talked about it a little bit before, like, one of these spaces in the podcast all about
how to create your own self-care toolbox.
I will put the link to that episode in the show notes, but today we're talking about how
to create your own personal sanctuary so that you can rest, heal, and recharge.
You can have these spaces in your home at work, outdoors, or they could just be an activity
that you love to do.
Before I share this though, I want to share with you where this started in my life.
I started this a long time ago when I was just a kid.
I grew up on Long Island and Long Island obviously is surrounded by water.
And no matter what way you go, you're going to hit water.
So I spent a lot of time on the ocean or in the Long Island sound.
And as a child, we had a boat and I spent many, many days on the beach with my family,
completely encrusted in sand, building sand castles, collecting fish.
Actually, one of the funniest stories ever and I'm not sure why my parents allowed me
to do this, but I always felt like if I brought one of those dried up starfish home with me
and put it in the bathtub that I could bring it back to life.
Now I used to sneak this all the time, but there was this one time we would go out on the
boat and we would go fishing and we caught a tiny baby sand shark.
Now, as an adult now, I feel horrible, absolutely horrible about doing this.
This is what I mean, but I don't know why my parents allowed me to do this, but they let
me bring it home with me because I was so attached to it.
We should have thrown it back obviously, but that's not what happened in a burden home.
I felt like I could put it in my bathtub to keep it alive and whatever.
So that didn't end well obviously.
I was a small child.
I don't know why my parents allowed that, but that's what the kind of stuff I used to do
when I was a kid, just spending hours and hours and hours on the beach.
I could just remember that kind of like almost meditative state that you're in when you're
playing in the sand, even as an adult being on the beach and letting your toes touch just
the edge of the water.
It's like when you're really hot and then the water is really cold.
It's just my favorite place.
Now I know some people, this might be their worst nightmare, being covered with sand and being
in the sun all day.
Like my youngest daughter, she doesn't like the beach, right?
Because she's fair and her skin blisters if the sun hits her.
So it's not exactly fun for her, but she was forced to enjoy the beach a little bit when
she was younger.
Now as an adult, she doesn't do it so much.
Another story when I was probably around the age of, I don't know, maybe 13 or 14,
I'm not sure, I mean my best friend Janet, shout out to Janet, her father used to work
nights and then he would come home in the morning and he had a, I think it was a bronco,
like this big four-wheel drive truck.
And he would come home in the morning and he would drive us to the beach and there was
a place on the beach where you could take your trucks out on the beach and he would take
his truck out onto the beach right on the sand, park it and he would sleep in the back and
we would go out and spend the entire friggin' day on the beach and it was, we used to have
so much fun.
These are some of the best memories of my life.
I don't realize, you know, how you just don't realize how lucky you are when it's happening,
but so much fun.
So when it comes to water for me, it just brings me nothing but comfort.
So it's no surprise that this is one of my places that I spend time alone, you know, the
place that you go to when everything feels like too much, right?
When you look out into the ocean, it's so like infinite, so big, it makes you realize
how small everything is and everything that's in your life becomes much more manageable almost
instantly.
At least that's how it made me feel.
So after leaving the island and being in different places and upstate New York among other
places that I lived, it took me a while to accept lakes and creeks and ponds and other places
where I would find water to accept them as being good enough.
The ocean for me was just like absolute beauty and lakes and streams and rivers or whatever.
Just didn't seem as powerful to me, but now I just look at things differently.
I don't know if it's just because I'm used to it, I'm not really sure, but when I do go
back to the beach, it's definitely a different feeling than I have when I'm around water
in the winter inland, but I do appreciate all these spaces that I've found depending
on where I live.
It's always a body of water that I can go to and sit in like contemplation and rest and
it's just a place where I feel safe and supported.
So what is your place in nature?
That's the first question I want to ask you because as I said, we have different sanctuaries
for ourselves.
Some can be in nature and some can be in a home.
So what is yours in nature?
Is it a deep evergreen forest?
Is it like hiking?
Is it the ocean?
Where do you feel that you can get the rest?
Where do you feel that you heal and are able to recharge air to your energy banks and not
take away from them?
So when it comes to our homes, they are equally as important to have this type of space
in.
So it could be a room in your house.
It could be a bathroom.
Because the bathroom is the only place we can get away from everything and have peace and
not be bothered because we have an excuse to close the door and lock it.
But sometimes it could be a bedroom.
If you're lucky enough to have a room for workouts, yoga, maybe meditation, it could be that.
Maybe you have an office.
Maybe the kitchen space is what does it for you?
Maybe cooking is so peaceful and healing for you.
We're all different.
And that's why creating your own personal sanctuary for yourself can be so important.
Because what works for me isn't going to work for everybody.
Not everybody likes the ocean.
Like I said, my daughter, that's not her sanctuary.
Some people like being in cities.
Sometimes people find comfort in chaos.
So that's what I call the city chaos because it is.
And I love going to the city.
I love it.
I don't know how I would be living in the city.
I feel like I would have to live near like central park so I could go into the park like almost
every day.
But I do love going to the city.
There's so many positives, there are the two experience.
So when you have a space, it's important to make it like the space in your home I'm going
back to.
It's important to make it as beautiful as possible and comfortable, right?
Add your favorite colors, different cozy check textures.
So like if it's your bedroom, it's about really making your bed as comfortable.
Get the best pillows, the best blankets, all your favorite colors.
You know, like add a bunch of comfortable pillows, big pillows, little pillows, whatever,
you know, whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Maybe having like an eye mask and different things to support you when you sleep.
Another thing that's also important is what does it smell like?
So do you like candles?
Do you like diffusers?
I couldn't say that.
Maybe essential oils.
Like I have my essential oils that I sell on solo lined infusions.
And if you haven't checked that out, definitely check.
I'll put a link in the show notes, but I have all different essential oil rollers that support
you in different ways.
Like whether you want to feel calm or relaxed or energized, I have all different ones.
So I always keep one of my rollers.
I keep my calm roller next to my bed.
I love using essential oils.
But it's very important also that the space is organized and clutter free, completely decluttered
because clutter adds friction and friction adds stress.
So the best you could do to remove the clutter, the better you'll feel in that space.
Like imagine coming home and being able to go into a space that just feels completely
comfortable in every way to every sense that you have.
And talking about senses, having accessibility to music in that space.
So whether it's a speaker that you have or if you're into playing records, whatever you're
into, just having some kind of music you could put on.
And it doesn't, a lot of times when I'm trying to relax, if there's words to the music, it's
too distracting to me.
So I put on music that doesn't have words.
So a lot of times I'll put on YouTube and I'll just pull up some like meditation music or
something like that.
And I'll keep that playing in the background really low and that's relaxing for me.
So find what is relaxing for you and find what you can add to your space to make it just
the best possible support of environment that you can.
A place where you can immediately go to rest, to heal and to recharge.
And create this space over time.
I don't feel like it has to happen overnight.
Another thing that you could add to the space could be plants, especially if you're living
in an area like I do, like in the Northeast where you have winter and everything dies and
turns gray and white.
It's nice to have green in your space.
So it's nice to have those living plants.
So just make it as beautiful as possible.
So for me, this is easy because my kids are grown now, my home, my whole home is my space.
So this comes easy to me and it wasn't at one point.
Like I used to be a single mom with three kids.
There was no space.
Like the bathroom was somewhat of a space.
Sometimes I could get in a bath, but it wasn't a space that was really always beautiful.
I was sharing that space most of the time.
I've had a few homes where I had my own personal bathroom, but there are also been times where
we've shared bathrooms and so it's cluttered when you have kids.
You know how it is.
So I just want to acknowledge that not everybody has the ability to create this space all
the time.
So my sanctuary at that time was the activities that I did and I did everything.
So there were times where I ran, I did MMA, I did CrossFit for a while, yoga, hiking, walking,
you name it, I did all of it.
I didn't do it all at the same time.
Although there were times where I did a lot all at once.
I did boxing too, that was really good workout.
But I've tried everything that I possibly can.
You know I also love like painting and doing any type of artwork, but the things that have
stuck over time for me have been running, walking and hiking and yoga.
Like those are the things that are still in my life.
I've also added things like gardening and music sometimes and art.
I just started getting back into painting and doing art.
So these things help me heal, rest and recharge.
But when you know that you have a space where you can leave the house and get that feeling,
you know, that relaxation feeling, you're giving yourself what you need.
You're taking care of yourself.
You're practicing self-care.
So different activities to help with different things.
And like I talked about in another podcast episode.
I think it was called creating your own personal self-care toolbox.
I talked about this a lot in that.
And so I'll put the link to that podcast and the show notes.
But yoga was more like, so the running helps me recharge, right?
So going for a run just helps me express any type of energy I have too much of in my body.
So if I'm angry or excited or whatever like that running helps me with that and also helps
add to my energy at like, I don't know how to explain it almost like relaxes me but energizes
me at the same time with like positive energy, not like nervous energy.
Yoga calms my system.
Even if I do like a really intense hard yoga workout, it still calms my system.
I think it's the breath work mostly but in the slow moving and the flow of it, it really
helps calm me.
So and also going outside into nature, whether it's gardening or walking or doing anything
outside, always automatically does all of those three things.
It helps me rest.
It helps me recharge and it helps me heal.
Okay.
So going outside in nature is like the best thing you could do for yourself.
At least you know, that's my opinion.
Like I said, not everybody is friends with nature, not everybody loves nature but it is really
good to get outside, put your hands on the ground, your feet on the ground and be able
to ground yourself at least every day.
Finding the supportive spaces for yourself where you know that you automatically are going
to feel better is just so important, right?
And you need to like fit these things into your life every single day.
And I think it's also important to have more than one space if possible.
Now this wasn't always possible for me in every part of my life but now I'm able to do
that.
I wasn't able to do that when my kids were little but I always had something I could go
to.
You know what I'm saying?
And so it's not always going to be perfect.
So what I mean by that is, you know, so like my thing, like this morning I woke up, I took
my dogs for a walk.
I came back, I made myself a wonderful breakfast, I did a little drawing and painting, then I
did a yoga class, I decided to do a yin yoga class which is a very restorative healing yoga
class because that was the type of mood I was in.
I had been working out my muscles or sore so I just wanted to do that this morning.
Then I took a bath, I mean I had a morning, right?
And then this was all before work.
And yes I do wake up early but I like to wake up early so this is like to me the perfect
morning.
So I did a lot of the things that really helped me rest, heal and recharge this morning and
I will probably go for another walk.
Obviously I have to walk my dogs and do other things that help me heal and recharge.
I can probably going to read.
I'm probably going to journal.
I'm probably going to watch something fun on TV.
I don't know.
I do things that I do that I love I might even paint more.
And so it's possible to fit all these things in your life with intention.
This doesn't come naturally for me, right?
I tend to overwork myself and constantly be doing, doing, doing.
So taking time for myself feels wrong to me sometimes because I feel like I should be
doing something, right?
Should be doing something productive, right?
And we're all programmed this way.
We're all programmed that our worth is based on our productivity.
And we know that it's not true, deep down in our hearts.
We know that this isn't true, but it's just something we're programmed in the United States.
Just most people are programmed this way to be very productive is, you know, like people
who overwork themselves and hustle tend to wear this with like a badge of honor and be respected
for it.
And I feel that shifting a little bit.
I feel that changing and I think it's a good thing because this is the way I feel that
this kind of behavior only makes you burn out just like I did.
I burnt out.
So I know from experience that when I take time for myself every day, I feel great.
And then I get to share that version of myself with everyone else, including the things that
I'm doing to be productive, like my business, right?
So while I don't do this perfect all the time, I'm human.
I get stuck in cycles of stress and they're doing, right?
I get stuck like this all the time.
But I always know what happens when I do this.
I don't feel good.
Once I start to, I start to not feel good, then I start to be like, oh, yeah, I'm just, I'm
doing too much.
I need to go to my spaces.
I need to spend time with myself.
I need to get more into that self care so I can rest and recharge and heal, right?
So it's, you know, it's a cycle of going in and out in and out.
I don't think anybody does this perfectly.
Maybe there's a few people, but it's about not beating yourself up when you're not always
doing this perfectly.
It's about just stepping back into it and just being like, oh, I think I need a little more
of this, right?
So another question I get sometimes from people is what do I do if I don't know what my
spaces are, what makes me heal, rest, and be able to recharge?
Where do I start?
So that, I talked about that this week.
That was this week's self care practice.
And if you want to take part in the self care practice, I'm always kind of sharing it
on here in the podcast, on the blog, but you can join the Salt and Line self care insiders.
You could follow me for free over there.
And every week I have a short self care practice that you could participate in.
So this week's self care practice was that I want you to start paying attention to the
times when you're doing some kind of an activity or you're in a place and it feels good,
right?
So that could be your chair that you sit in in a living room when you watch TV.
You might sit down in that chair and automatically be transported into like bliss, right?
It's relaxing, it's healing, it recharges you and it gives you energy.
It could be, you know, going outside, it could be at your yoga class, it could be cooking
in the kitchen, it could be gardening, start to make a list in your journal, okay?
And if you don't have a journal, start one.
It could be a notebook, it could be anything, it could even be the no tap on your phone.
Just keep a list, right?
Keep a journal.
Start today if you don't have one.
So just start paying attention to these places where you feel absolutely happy, comfortable
and supported, a place that adds to your energy and doesn't take it away.
Like in your home start to like add beauty back in and comfort back in, you know?
If you're a single mom like I was, this could be your bathroom.
That sounds so ridiculous, but we all know that that's true, right?
And, you know, so add your favorite colors, your towels, bath mats, painted a new color,
add art that you love, you know, add like local artists art.
Maybe it's your art, add your favorite smells, you know, your favorite candle.
It could be a diffuser, it could be having incense to burn.
Make sure it's decluttered, keep it as organized as possible.
I know how hard that can be when you have kids, especially little kids, but do the best
that you can.
And when you step into the space, it should feel good, right?
It starts to pay attention to what feels good.
Try new activities outside of the house that you think will help you.
Like, you know, it could be a walking group or running group.
You could start swimming.
Swimming is really cool too because you're wearing like a cap, you're wearing the goggles
and a lot of times you're wearing ear plugs, some people wear nose plugs.
You're totally like tuned out.
If you know what I mean, you're in the water, your head is under the water most of the
time when you, if you're swimming laps.
And if you don't know how to swim laps, I would encourage you to learn how to do it.
It's so meditative.
Like, the only time I ever swam laps was when I was training for a triathlon.
And it's, first of all, it's such great exercise.
It's so good for you.
It works like every muscle and it doesn't put a lot of stress on your body.
So it's just so meditative.
It's also a good way to learn how to breathe.
And as I said, it's great exercise.
You're also really tuned out.
You're not like listening to other people.
You're in a zone when you're swimming.
It could be a hiking group.
Did I say gardening already?
There's just so many things that you could.
So many, maybe like singing, you want to join like some kind of a singing group.
Maybe you're a musician, you want to start a music group.
Just get yourself out there and find something that really brings you that joy.
They have those pottery places now that you can go to and make pottery.
Learn how to do pottery.
Pottery is so much fun.
So I want you to this week.
That's what this is all about right now.
This is about finding all the spaces that help you heal.
So when you find a space in your journal, you're going to write it down in your journal and
you're going to ask yourself the question, does this space help me heal?
Does it help me rest?
And does it help me recharge?
Right?
If you get a yes for one of those things, then it's a good space.
Then you could add it as one of your spaces.
And then spend time in those spaces every single day.
Maybe not all of them.
Maybe you can, like I did this morning.
But maybe it's just one.
Sometimes some days you'd only have time for one, right?
It's just about being intentional about giving yourself these spaces.
Now if you want more support with these practices, I do have a new private coaching program
called Reset and Thrive.
And I'll put that link for that in a show notes.
If you want to look into that, I help you do all these different practices that I talk
about on the podcast.
But another thing I want to share with you before we go, before we go, I tell you, I told
you I have a couple of masterclasses coming up.
I have a paid one and I have a free one.
So the first one is going to be the paid one.
It's going to be in April.
But it's a pay what you can investment.
So it starts at $5.
So you could join me in this masterclass for as little as $5.
And as I said, it's a pay what you can.
I don't care what people pay.
I want it to be available to everyone.
And you might ask the question, well, why are you making us pay then?
And I'm doing it because a lot of times when people don't pay, they don't show up.
And I want you to show up for this one because this isn't just a masterclass where I'm
going to talk at you the whole time.
It's interactive.
We're going to be doing this together.
So inside of this masterclass, it's called the recent and thrive masterclass.
It's for people who are ready to transform stress into self-care.
And we're going to start out with a quiz.
I call it the balance sheet, but it's a quiz.
And it uncovers the specific areas in your life where stress has taken a toll.
And it will also provide some clarity on where to direct your self-care efforts to get
the maximum amount of impact in your life.
And then after that, we're going to be going over crafting your core values.
So your journey starts with knowing not just where you are right now, which is what we do
with the quiz, but knowing where you want to go and to learn how to articulate that in
your core values, okay?
So it's not really setting goals.
It's more about the values you want to have in all the different areas of your life.
So it's like creating a roadmap for your personal growth and feeling good, okay?
And what we'll do during the masterclass is I'm going to show you an example.
I'm going to teach you how to do this.
We're going to do one area of your life.
And the rest you'll probably do at home.
Otherwise, we'd be online together for hours, okay?
And then after that, we're going to show you the power of your why.
So it's about discovering a powerful tool to be able to know the deep reasons behind your
core values, okay?
Your goals and your dreams.
And this tool is so fantastic because you can use it for the rest of your life.
And it's really simple.
But it helps you gain clarity on what truly matters to you.
And it helps you distinguish between your authentic desires and external expectations, maybe
by society or your family or other people in your life.
And the reason knowing what your true why is behind a goal or dream or your values is because
when things get tough and it's hard to keep pursuing these things and keep moving forward,
it's always good to know the reason why you're doing it in the first place.
And so really figuring this out, writing it out, articulating it and being very clear
about why this is important to you helps you have not just more success but quicker success,
all right?
And then also during this master class, I'll be sharing with you an opportunity to join
my sole align self-care intensive.
And I will have special, wonderful discounts for you.
And so I'll just give you more information about it and give you the ability to sign up
at a discounted rate.
So some of the reasons you might need to attend would be, this will help you avoid burnout,
getting these things set.
This is like the beginning of your self-care journey.
This is like, this is how I start almost everyone out.
This is how I start out the intensive program that I'm going to be talking out.
This is like one of the first things you do in module one.
So this will help you avoid burnout and break the stress and anxiety cycle.
And it helps you most importantly avoid burnout.
It'll give you personalized guidance so you have some insight onto your self-care needs
through the quiz that we do.
And it helps you define your path by creating a clear core values and thinking about your
goals and being able to always go back to your core values and knowing that when something
is aligned with your core values, you know you're going in the right direction, okay?
So I would love to have you join me.
As I said, it's a pay what you can investment and it starts at $5.
And also as I said, it's interactive.
So it'll be held on Zoom.
It's going to be a small group setting where we get to chat with one another.
So it's not as I said, like me just talking at you.
So I'll give you the link in the show notes so that you can sign up.
Be sure to get in early to save your space because the spaces are going to be limited.
As I said, I want to keep it into a small group.
Okay, guys, that's it for today.
I love you.
Be sure to create your own personalized sanctuary and I'll see you next week.
