Hello, Marisa. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. I've been wanting
to do this for a long time. So welcome. It's so great to be here, Tina, especially
as buds, but also because we share a great passion for helping people of well-lives.
Yes. Yes. And as buds, we've known each other for, do you know how long we've known each
other for? Because I'm not really sure. But years.
Probably since at least four years, maybe more. Maybe more, crazy.
It's like before the pandemic, right? I know. Yes. That's nuts.
Yeah. That's like a marker for me now. Well, I got my first certification in 2017, and
you were with me in the very beginning when I was trying to build my business. So it
might have been like, can you see when you and I connected? Yeah. So it's been a while,
and we've been connected for a while. We share our absolute love for nutrition. And we love
to geek out on nutrition, both of us. And when we were chatting beforehand and also by email
talking about this interview, you said something that really struck me. And it was kind of
like a, like a moment for me because I forgot about this. And you said nutrition is often
dismissed as an element to improve the quality of life. And I just make this automatic assumption
that everybody is like me, which is not really a good assumption to make. But I just automatically
assume that everybody geeks out on nutrition and they don't. Everybody has their own thing
that they geek out on. And some people might think that I'm weird or whatever, but I didn't,
I tend to forget this. And it's very important. And people do have like an enormous amount
of control over their health and their wellness when it comes to nutrition. So I would love
to hear you talk about that a little bit because I know you, I don't really work as a health
coach anymore. I work more as a life coach. And I know you are really one of the best health
coaches that I know. So I would love to hear you talk about that. Thank you. So guess what
she's speaking to you directly is that I really emphasize in my new book that you can't
just find a solution to your health problems and your weight problems that doesn't involve
nutrition. And if you do find one, these benefits that you receive from that solution are
going to be short lived without a doubt. Whether your results don't sustain or new issues
arise, that is inevitable unless you finally wake up to the fact that nutrition matters.
And it sucks. I mean, it's not convenient today. I don't think it sucks because I get into
nutrition. But lucky, you know, most people don't feel that way. So even people who do care,
let's be real here. Even people who do think it's interesting or do want to be that person
who prioritizes nutrition, they don't have time or they are overwhelmed or they don't have
anyone to help or everyone in their household or in their social circle could care, couldn't
care less about nutrition. And so it doesn't compliment their life or their current circumstances.
And so they just keep looking for other solutions or being lured in or tricked by the promise
of other solutions. Yeah. Because they're just desperate for an answer that doesn't involve
the work that nutrition requires. Yeah, absolutely. I always say it's almost a full-time job to stay
alive now because I like that. You know, it's like, you know, if you actually are listening
to the media and you're and you don't have like a base knowledge or training about health
and nutrition, it's it's probably so exhausting and so overwhelming because you're hearing
all these different things. And even if you get into it and you start reading the studies,
everybody can prove their theory right through a study. So it's like, how can I really trust
the information I'm getting? And and it's a full-time job. It's a full-time job. But I feel
like if you if you find someone like yourself that can, you know, kind of spell it out for
you and lay it out for you the way, you know, so they can understand it. So it's something
that they could be taught and then, you know, implement in their life, then it could be,
as you said, life changing and it can prove the equality of your life. And it's it's one
of those things that if you're if you're looking to improve the quality of life or if you're
sick or you're not feeling well, this is one of the things that you have to learn about
and have to implement. And so I want to get into something else that you said, right?
Okay. Which was that which was I was like, okay, yeah, this is true. So what's you said to me?
What story do you tell yourself about the value of nutrition in your daily life? And I read,
I went into some of the chapters that, you know, talked about this and I was like, this is so
interesting because I never really I never think about it. I do still implement nutrition into my
programs because it is a part of deep-level self-care, you know, you can't not include that in there.
It has to be a part of it. And so tell me explain to me what you mean by that.
Your nutrition identity. Yes. I mean, I was trying to like encapsulate if I needed to come up with
a six-word title to describe what we're talking about. And so that's why I landed on nutrition
identity. But for your listeners to kind of get where we're coming from here, we all have a
story that is outdated that's running in our mind about who we are. And I just fell in love with this
definition of self-sabotage when I was at a health conference recently. One of the presenters
explains self-sabotage as your ego's efforts to maintain an outdated self-image of you.
Yeah. So if we think about the concept of ego less than the popular sense, but more in like the
Eastern, you know, philosophy sense, it would be that it's your ego clings to roles that you play
or, you know, things that have happened to you or stories about yourself that you now identify with
as who you are. And so when it comes to your nutrition, you might be like, oh, I'll eat anything
or, you know, I, I, Pete says my favorite food in the world and then all of a sudden this person
has to cut out dairy. Like, of course, they're really going to struggle with that because their whole
life, they've been the pizza person. They've been the one that has a pizza blog and it drives
pizza in every city. And of course, it's going to stand in the way of you making progress or prioritizing
nutrition to heal yourself because you're conflicted. And then rightfully so, of course,
that's going to be difficult and you're going to sell sabotage. And that's a very simple example
that's very specific. But some of us have ones like the one that I give in my book is, you know,
let's say that someone really identifies as a mom and who does anything for their kids and puts
their kids first. Now, maybe you don't know like fleshed out what that is doing to your day-to-day
decision-making or like how you treat yourself. Maybe you've never looked that deeply into what that
self-image is doing to you or how you use it against yourself. But, you know, there comes a time
when moms needs, they're not being met and mom's health is suffering. And so then we turn inward when
we say, how can we stop putting, like, stop enabling this egoic sort of, you know, story narrative about
who I am? How can we prevent that from causing me to do self-sabotage? So let's get specific here.
If you're like, I put my kids first, that might mean, which I see all the time with my clients,
is that my kids want to eat all this junk food. And so I have this junk food all over my house. And
I can't help it at night. I end up eating it. Or when I'm making my kids lunch, I'm eating all the
goldfish crackers and the graham crackers. Or when it's time for dinner, my husband doesn't like this
food and my kids don't like this food. And I, you know, I really want to make my family happy. So I'm
just making the food they eat. And of course, those are very understandable frustrations and obstacles.
Absolutely. Yeah. But you will be forced to face this like a fork in the road. When you decide,
once and for all, you want to do something to change your health, the way you feel or your quality of
life, those things are going to be up against each other. And so revising your self image doesn't mean
I no longer put my kids first. It's just like how can taking care of myself resonate with this self image,
you know, so that everybody wins. You know, I always put my kids first. And by leading as an example of
someone who cares for their health, I'm looking out for my kids best interest. I'm teaching them to
care for their own health because they see me making those hard decisions myself. Yeah. There's lots of
ways you can shift the perspective or reframe it so that now this self image is working for you.
And sometimes you have to rewrite it all together, you know, sometimes maybe your kids, maybe you're
an empty nester now. And maybe you're just not used to thinking about yourself or you don't know
what your new self story will be about who you are and your relationship with food. And that's
something, you know, we can walk through. I love that. I just love that perspective. I do the same thing
in my work. And there's so many layers to the mom putting her kids first and putting her family first.
And there's just so many layers because as women, and this is changing over time, I noticed this
changing with the younger generations, but we're taught that this is what we're supposed to do. We're
supposed to take care of these people we are supposed to. This is what we're valued for, right? The
woman who sacrifices herself, you know, we hear it all the time, oh, look at her. Look how well she
takes care of her kids. She does everything for her kids. And like she gets honored. But then like the
second she looks like all run down and tired and sick, they're like, wow, she's really letting
herself go, you know, like there's just there's so many layers to it. And so they're doing like, I
feel like a lot of women, including myself, are doing what they think is what's expected of them,
you know, and what society expects of them, how they think how they, they're taught they're going to
be judged. And on top of that, they're just unwavering love for their family and caring. And how
tiring it is to have a family and how easy it is to stick one of those pizza bagels in your mouth
instead of making yourself a healthy meal. And one of the things I always say to my client is when
you put yourself first and you take care of yourself first, then you get to put the best version of
yourself into the world. And so you get to share that version with your children and your partner and
your business and whoever's in your life. And it has that ripple effect. And like you said,
a good example of that is, you know, you make this wonderful meal and it might not be what your
kids want to eat. And they might give you trouble about it. But after a while, they're watching and
they're learning. And one of the things I noticed as my kids grew up into adults was that they,
they were watching the whole time. Maybe they harassed me about it. They gave me a whole lot of
crap about it. But they were watching me the whole time because I see them doing it now as adults.
What they learned from me, you know what I mean? And so there's just so many, so many layers to that. And
it's, I think that's an important shift to make. And then the empty nester thing, I think,
and I'm sure you see this too, is like, learning to cook for, you know, less people, you know,
you know, and then maybe if the person is alone, you know, like so single parent, maybe it's like,
oh, should I really just make such a big deal about me? Maybe I'll just, just, you know, I'll just snack
tonight, you know? Yeah. So I love the thought I've never thought about it this way. So I love the thought
of like rewriting and reframing your identity to what you want it to be and what would be a healthier
like version of yourself. Yeah. And it might change over time, you know, like it's kind of like this,
the whole concept of affirmations, you know, we've all experienced this like feeling like
affirmations are, you know, not, they don't feel true to me, so they don't work for me. You know,
I'm beautiful. I am strong. Like whatever the thing is that you're trying to talk yourself into, but
when you look into it more or you see different experts point of view on affirmations, you know,
it can be so powerful if you're willing to take baby steps to sort of compromise with the voice in
your head. So firstly, I would like to say all of us need to start separating the voice in our head
from who we are. We are not the voice in our head. The voice in our head is the sum of all of our
experiences and our warped perception of what occurred and what we remember. And it also is playing
like the same tapes over and over and over that no longer fit in this context. And so when we're,
when we think of the voice in our head as it's something separate, we got to think of it like,
how can I negotiate with this voice? How can I compromise with this voice so we can meet have way?
And so maybe your, your revision, your, your revised self image or persona is going to not be so
ideal at first, but it's going to be a step in the right direction, you know? So maybe let's just
talk about someone who's saying like the extreme, I hate healthy foods or I hate vegetables. I actually
hear that from people saying, I hate vegetables. Yeah. Maybe they always ate vegetables and they're
a little kid. It's quite common. It had a problem with textures or they're never like vegetables or
their family never cooked and so they never ate vegetables. And then anytime they tried to cook them
the cells, they suck, they use frozen vegetables and they don't know what they're doing and they're
just vegetables. And vegetables. Yeah. So these are common issues too. So don't be embarrassed if I'm
describing this. You'd be surprised how many people come from that experience. So if your story is
I hate vegetables or I never eat vegetables, can you imagine like the power that has over you and
your ability to change what you eat? You've been telling the story for likely decades of your life
and it's automatic and subconscious. So it's, you know, even if it's conscious and you tell everybody
this all the time and it's how you lead with like your preferences of food, it's, it's not a
parent, I'm sure that it's in the way of everything that you really want now. So how would you go from? I
hate vegetables to, you know, I'm someone who is open to trying new vegetables. Well, first of all,
there's one way you could say I'm someone who's open or I'm open to trying new vegetables. I may not
like them, but I'm staying open, you know, but if that's not the language like you would use to talk
to yourself, you can say something like I always hated vegetables, but I'm ready to change that,
you know, I always hated vegetables, but that's not working for me anymore. You know, something like that,
I guess that's true. You always were someone who hated vegetables fine, but how can we sort of
just shape that in a way that makes sense for the next phase of your life, the next chapter,
which is going to include vegetables one way or another? That's the that's the hope, right?
Yeah, yeah. I always like, I'm trying to remember what coach said this. I think it was Catherine's
in Kina who is like manifestation babe, but she says with affirmations in order to like take those
baby steps, she uses the word, I'm the type of person. Yes. Yeah, and I always liked that because you could
say, well, yeah, I've always hate vegetables, but now I'm the type of person who's willing to start
trying vegetables. And because yeah, you know, going from, I hate vegetables to, oh, I absolutely love
vegetables, they're scrumptious and I eat them every day is like driving a car a hundred miles an
hour and just making a sharp right turn, you know what I mean? So it's like, you're going to crash and
burn, you know, but if you slow the car down and then you, you know, you make the turn slowly, then
it's more you'll have more success with it, you know? And so that, I like that terminology or that
wording it works for me. And so that's how I like doing it. So how do you guide people to change
this narrative? What's what kind of work? How do you guide them through it? Well, this is important
if you're someone who does sell sabotage, you know, I do see clients using that language like on
their intake forms, they're like, Oh, I doing great. And then I sell sabotage. So that might mean like
you're trying not to eat so many sweets anymore and you know, you shouldn't eat them and you know,
they make you feel like crap and you remove them so many times and you know better. Okay, so I hear
that a lot. I know better. But there's this part of you that's just at, you know, whether it's at night
or when you're stressed or when nobody's home or whatever, it's like you're just like, okay, you know,
you're like, and you just eat it anyway. And people describe it as self sabotage because they feel
like that's myself making that choice. But I'm doing it even though I know it's not in my best interest.
And so if we start from a place like that, we have to really think and you know, pen and paper
work so well here because you got to get it out of your head in order to make sense of it or typing,
you don't need pen and paper if you want to type it and just ramble about thoughts that come to mind
about this. So what story or what outdated self image could be making those decisions when it's time
to sabotage? So what story or you know, self image that you've held about you your whole life or
recently or whatever in your relationship to sugar, what could it be that says you deserve it?
That's a good one. Yeah, I just so that might be yeah, it might be because like I've had a long day
and when I have a long day, I deserve a treat and a treat is sugar. Yes. And so this outdated self image
could be, you know, something you've never articulated before, first of all, but you come to the conclusion
through journaling and writing all this out like, oh my god, like my ego wants me to turn to sweets
in order to reward myself for the stress that I have faced. And so that to you doesn't sound like
a self image, but it's really just an inner narrative, you know, it's it's a story that is defining
you and dictating your decisions subconsciously. I mean, there's absolutely bonkers that we even have
to worry about this, but it's very real. And so once you sort of like can identify that, then you can
start to revise it, you know, because if you're if you're thinking, and it could be deeper than that,
I just want to say it's not just I turn to that to reward myself, it could be like, oh my god,
like my whole family does that when I was a kid, my mom would say don't cry, here's ice cream. Exactly.
Yeah. That's exactly where it comes from a lot of times. Exactly. And so it could be like my family
comforts us or, you know, I am someone who or I come from a family who comforts you with sweets
when you feel uncomfortable or when you've had a hard time. And so that is just broader and not so
much self blame, like I'm an emotional leader, like I, you know, it's not you. It's so much bigger than
that. Yeah. Once you separate yourself from it, get it on some paper and see, then you can really
start to like mold that little by little into something that's helpful. So you might say, you know,
I've always been someone who's, you know, first instinct is to turn to sugar when I've had a bad day.
When I need comfort, yeah. Yeah. But now I'm looking for new ways to reward myself.
You know, so you don't even know what those rewards are yet. You don't even know if you're going to
succeed yet. That's not the story that you need to tell yourself yet. Yeah. Like we each are way
there. Like a great example of this is, you know, as a health coach, I've been somewhat ashamed that
I don't love exercise. I like being active if it's incorporated in things I'm doing or with people
that initiate it. But I'm not like one that's naturally inclined to exercise. And that bothers me
because I'm coaching people and telling them how important physical activity is and I can't get
myself to freaking do it or stay motivated. Yeah. But the story that I always tell myself is I hate
exercise. I hate exercise. I can't hold an exercise habit. I hate exercising. I can't make exercise
and have it. Like how limiting is that? Yeah. That's very limiting because you don't hate exercise. You
like movement. You hate structured exercise. Yeah. Or it's not even that is just I
eat exercising alone or hate self-managing my exercise or hate. Like, what are things? Yeah. It's
it's a lot of things. But to move back to the analogy here, it's like, I don't want to say I hate
exercise anymore. So instead, what I say is I am determined to find a form of exercise that I'm
excited to do. And that's very true for me. You might be determined to find something to turn to
when you're stressed besides sugar. And that can become the new story that you tell yourself.
You haven't found it yet because of all myself this story because I am determined and I have
proof of that because I'm constantly trying new things and getting creative about how I can make
exercise fit in my life constantly. And so, you know, if you are determined and that can be the new
story that you tell yourself until you find a solution. It's not really about consistency. Like
everyone makes you think. It would be nice if we could all be consistent with healthy habits.
It would be nice if I could consistently work out all the time. But what's going to serve me
more in the long run is if I'm persistent. Yes, I persist in my efforts to change. If I persist in
my pursuit to find solutions, I will succeed one day. I will find a solution that works for me one day
as long as I don't quit. And that's my attitude about exercising. That's the attitude you can have to
find another outlet besides sugar that helps you when you're feeling pissed off, stressed,
overworked, resentful, feeling the blank. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's really important. The
difference between consistency and persistence because people look at themselves as a failure when
they have one bad day or something and then they have that one bad day and then they just like hop
off the wagon all together and they just like go off instead of just saying, "Oh, well, I just
have a day and just keep on with it the next day." You know, don't judge yourself. That's my
ridiculous to have. Yeah. Honestly, it's kind of a ridiculous expectation to begin with because
nothing in your day to day life is consistent except maybe you're morning or Dean and you're
evening or Dean. Yeah. Most people do not have like a groundhog day where the same freaking thing
from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep and nobody's going to interrupt that,
nobody's going to interfere with that and everything is predictable. How can you be consistent
if nothing that is happening is consistent? That's a good point. So, really, it's so true. You have no
control over what's going to happen on a day to day basis, the weather, you know, just the way you
feel. Like there's so many different things that people, and then if you have all these other people
in your life, the way they feel, what's happening with them and what's going on in their life. And so,
yeah, nothing is consistent. And so, trying to stay consistent on a daily basis in like that exacting
kind of a way is impossible. And if you put that expectation on yourself, of course, you're going
to feel like a failure and then you're going to give up. And instead of just being persistent, like you
said, where it's like, okay, well, that was a day, you know, so I'm just going to do better tomorrow,
I guess. I don't know. Exactly. I mean, this all comes down to self-compassion, honestly. And self-compassion
is a very misunderstood word or misinterpreted word. I heard it explained once finally in a way that
makes sense to me that I can accept and is having patience with yourself. So, it's not like, I,
oh, everything I do is fine and for me and self-compassion, like it's okay, you ate the bag of Doritos
three nights this week, you know, like, I don't know, I'm just saying like it's not that it's it's more
about having patience with yourself for these events, these singular events or repetitious events
in the context of the bigger picture. So, once you're upset that something derailed your plan to
eat a healthy meal and interfered, you know, or influenced you to make a bad decision,
it is not like you're falling off the wagon because that one thing happened.
Yeah. It is really a smaller snapshot of a bigger picture.
So, if we just pause to think, how does this show up in a pattern in my life? How does this,
how is this like a cyclical thing that I go through? Have I overcame it before and use that to
empower you? Like, a lot of times I'll have to confess, I guess you could say my patterns or my
my cyclical patterns with nighttime snacking and with ice cream. So, I know that snacking at night
too close to bedtime is really detrimental to my sleep and after having chronic fatigue in the past,
that was quite debilitating, I really became so like militant about getting good sleep because
it's just so apparent how much it affects my mental health and my stress tolerance and emotional
stability and more. And so, sleep is so important to me but I still self-sabotage with this nighttime
snacking habit every once in a while. But what I realized is it's very cyclical for me. Like, I'm going to
start snacking at night again at some point. When it happens, I'm going to let it happen for about
three weeks in a row until I'm finally like, "Oh, I'm doing it again." All right, I've done it enough,
I'm sick of it, I'm ready to stop. And so, it's sort of like this, I know I'm going to stop,
I just want to do it a little longer. And then I'm like, "Okay, now I'm done. Like, I really need
better sleep. I really need to take care of my health better." And I stop. So then it's like,
I'm implementing all of these little, like, you know, fail-safes to make sure that that is possible.
Like, I'm not buying my favorite chips anymore. I'm telling myself, "It's been what time I'm
stopping eating. I'm setting an alarm when it's 10 minutes before I'm supposed to stop eating. So,
if I want to grab a quick snack, rofus, fast, I can still have that snack and it feels rewarding
and then the time is up." And, you know, that's a lot of self-management, not self-discipline,
you know, it's just sort of managing like, what kind of solutions can we implement? And how can we,
you know, separate ourselves from this emotionally so that we just think of it kind of like a task at
work? Like, how would I solve this problem? And then, back to what the original thought is,
I can say, "I know I do this like once every few months. I'm gonna snack again at night and
that's fine because I know I'm gonna stop." Yeah. And I do that with ice cream too. I might just
get into this flow where versus starts where I eat ice cream twice a week and then all of a sudden,
I'm eating ice cream four times a week and then all of a sudden I want ice cream every night after dinner.
And I'm like, "Oh, it's happening again. This happens every year, probably twice a year, but it's okay
because I always stop." And then I stop buying the ice cream so that it's not even in the freezer to
begin with and it's not that I can never have ice cream or I swear off ice cream or I'm mad at
myself for eating the ice cream. It's just that I'm like, "Okay, I had my fix. I went through my little
ice cream phase and now I'm ready to clean up again." And so, get that stuff out of my house.
I start to strategize if anything else needs to replace that or if I'm, you know,
I have the confidence now that I can just go without it because I've done that so many times and
that's where the bigger picture comes in handy. Like, how is this a part of your life in a cyclical
fashion? And it can be. Yeah. Yeah. And that's huge. And I would say too, and I see this with other
things in my coaching, once you acknowledge something and you're aware of it,
and you know, like you said, I've had success before I know I can stop, then sometimes you move through
it quicker, you know? So it's almost like, you know, it's almost like I always talk about having the
pity party when you're feeling sad. It's like a lot of people, well, they won't allow themselves to
be sad. They're like, "Oh, God, I have to be positive. I can't just sit here." And I'm like, "No,
just like once I allowed myself to have the pity party and give myself the space, it started
off as I'm just going to give myself a day to sit on the couch and cry on said movies, right?" And
and then I move through it. And then the next day I was fine, instead of pushing it back and pushing
it back where it would be around for like a week or so or maybe even longer, you know, because I
wouldn't acknowledge it, right? But once you acknowledge it and then you allow yourself to move through
it, then after that, you could do it quicker. So now when I need the pity party, it's like an hour
because after that, I'm like, all right, I think I'm done. Like, like, I feel like I'm wasting time at
that point. So I would imagine with once you can acknowledge these cycles that you have,
and I never thought of implementing it that way, I am a forever, I am the sugar, like you were
talking about me when you were talking about sugar before, like, "Oh, I deserve this. I had such a bad
day. I'm going to be like four Kit Katz, you know?" And so, like, that's me, 100%. And yes, my mom was
always like, "Here is my cookie, you know, you feel better?" And, you know, she meant well. And I
probably did the same thing to my kids. So yeah, it's, it's, and I, and I'm aware of it. I'm totally
aware of it. And then sometimes I'm like, "Okay, Tina, how can you give yourself comfort or
celebrate in a different way, you know, to move out of it?" And so I love
implementing it the way you talked about it. I never thought to do that, so I'm going to have to
try that, you know? That's, it's funny because I do that with other things, but I never thought to do
it with food. So that's kind of funny. But I mean, it also may not matter. Like, let's remind ourselves,
you know, this reminds me of a client I had. I didn't know them. I do these improv too,
coaching calls where people can just book 30 minutes with me and they're a stranger. I don't know them.
But they can be very productive because the person comes, they know exactly what they want to
talk about. And, you know, I'm usually able to address it because of the experiences I've had. But
this guy came to me and he was doing everything right. Like, by the book, he even was on a sabbatical,
he moved to Mexico living in this beautiful place. I don't know. I got forced and like eating all,
cooking all his food from scratch, buying it from local farms, like, you name it. This guy was like,
I'm doing meditation. I'm doing yoga, blah, blah, blah. And he was just so hard on himself because he
couldn't get himself to stick with his meditation and yoga practice. And he said, I don't think it makes
me less stressed. I think it brings more stress into my life. And I said, what if it's because you don't
need it? Like, you're doing all these other things to eliminate the stress from your life. And so
maybe the yoga and meditation right now is just another thing that you have to do when you're trying to
do the last of, yeah, like somebody in the hustle, bustle of their daily life has to do yoga or
meditation to sort of, you know, bring their nervous system back down and cope with the stress that
they face. But, you know, he had already done so many things to eliminate those stressors that it
was just kind of like he thought, I got to do it. So I'm bringing this up because you said,
everyone's in wow, and I'm upset. I will treat myself to some kick-ats. And I said, does it matter?
Yeah. Because you think it matters because you know better because you know what's in those kick-ats
because you know you have a sugar habit or because you, it's candy junk and you're nutrition. But then
you like might look back and I say Tina, one's the last time you did that. Yeah, exactly. And then
maybe you're like, I don't know a couple of months ago. Maybe I'm going to say, does it really matter?
Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't. And one of the things I always tell myself, and I don't know if this is
productive or not, but I eat a very clean diet and I don't eat a lot of processed foods. So there's
not a lot of sugar in my diet to begin with. And so I always tell myself, well, this isn't like
half of what most other people eat. Right. I don't know if that's very appropriate or healthy. But
yeah, I don't do it that much. And I do the same thing as you. It's like a cycle and I could recognize it.
And then I'm like, okay, maybe I should stop by and chocolate. You know, I'm eating it like every single
night. You know, it's like right after I eat my dinner or something, little sweet treat. And it
starts off slow, like you said. And then you're like, okay, so I just stop by. You know, there's certain things
I don't buy because I know that I can't be trusted with them. You know. Yeah, that's the thing.
You're like a boundary that you just recognize that you need. And you know, for some people, it's like
they don't want to be told they can't do something. Yeah. Even by themselves. And so we sort of come
up with a boundary that is a compromise. And so we're like, you know, to what point is it detrimental?
Snack, let's say you have a habit of eating right before you go to bed. But you want to stop because
your sleep hasn't been so great or you're trying to lose weight or metabolism is messed up. So you're like,
but you know, you know, when the kids go to bed, it's like the only time that I can really have to
myself and you got all these reasons why you're like, I really don't want to stop that habit.
Let me say, okay, so at what point is it detrimental? And what I mean by that is, is it, is it bad because
it's a habit and you have to do it every night? Is it bad because after two nights in a row of bad sleep,
your third day is hell on on this earth? Because if you are able to define that, then you can say,
okay, I can snack at night as long as it's not more than two nights in a row. So then your
gold doesn't become to stop snacking at night. It just becomes to be aware, oh, I snack the last two
nights. So tonight I got to do something different with my time so that I don't want to snack, you know?
And that might just be I'm not sitting on the couch in the same spot, watching the same shows and
you know, all these things that sort of trigger that reaction. Yeah, yeah, that's really smart. It's
a really, I swear to God, I think baby steps is the solution to everything sometimes just
taking those small steps and having like those big wins over time. It just makes such a huge difference.
That's why the name of my book is not so fast because you think it's all about fasting, but it's not.
I'm like, I'm saying not so fast throughout the book in so many ways because it's like, you want
to change this? Not so fast. You got to think about all these variables that are going to make that
more challenging or that you need to assess or the nuance that's required because you're a unique
individual or because like people will come to me and be like, I really want to, um, you know,
start eating healthy again and I need to start meal prepping, blah, blah, blah. I'll say cool. So,
have you ever meal prepped before and they'll say, no, I hate cooking. I'm terrible at cooking.
Oh, wow. Okay. So, one last time you cooked dinner and they'll be like, well, I don't know,
usually my husband kind of cooks the meat and then maybe like, I'll just heat up something
for a side for the kids or make the mac and cheese and that's it. And then I'll be like, okay,
so how do we get from this person to the person who meal preps? Is that realistic? And then a lot
of times you're like, well, I mean, that's what you got to do, right? That if I'm going to be healthy,
healthy and I eat healthy food, I can't afford to just buy all these meals and so I have to start
cooking them. And I'm like, okay, so not so fast. We're not going into like, all of a sudden you're
this person who meal preps. Yeah. Like, you're not used to grocery shopping right now. If you're not
used to prepping any vegetables or cutting or washing anything or keeping track of what's in your
fridge right now, that's another thing you need to learn. If you're not used to cooking or how to
cook or what you like to cook or what you're good at cooking, that's another obstacle. And when,
when are you going to cook? When are you going to feel like cooking? And like, when is it
fit into your schedule? And so instead, what if we just start with preparing a healthy snack two
times a week? Yeah. So right now you're eating snacks that are from a bag and you want to eat healthier.
So what if instead you slice up some cucumber sticks and you get some hummus from the store that
you top with maybe some olive oil and paprika make it feel special. And then that's your fresh snack
that you made one last time you've done anything about that. I've never never really done that. I bought
the cucumbers, but they routed in my fridge. Okay. Yeah. That's why this is a great place to start. And
then once that becomes something that you're willing to make more time for, are you make snacks,
homemade snacks for you and the kids several nights a week? Or trust me, if you're naturally
inclined to make dinner one night do it. Yeah. I'm not stopping. I'm not saying you can't go faster.
I'm just saying if we don't consider in a more fair assessment of where you're coming from,
then you're setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. That's just a waste of your time
even though you want that fix because it's faster. It's not faster if it doesn't work.
Yeah, absolutely. You're just setting yourself up for failure if you're going from that to meal prepping.
Like meal prepping, getting to the point of meal prepping takes some time I think.
Especially, you know, like you said, there's so many people out there. Like I would say the majority
people, you tell me if you agree that grew up in a house where cooking wasn't done and they don't
really cook, they might prepare things that are already ready and that's what I found. And so the
majority of people like are starting from that point. Yep, me too. That's a good thing. Let's go back
to your book. I want to talk about your book. So it's called Not So Fast and I want to congratulate you.
This is a huge day. I'm so excited for you. Can you just tell people what it's about and I would
like I would also like you to talk about fasting a little bit. Cool. So Not So Fast, a subtitle is
the smarter, more gradual approach to intermittent fasting benefits that last. And essentially,
this book is about how much of a nuanced approach you want to consider with intermittent fasting
and healthy lifestyle changes because you want something that lasts once and for all. You're sick
of all the shortcuts, even though you're desperate for one, I get it. You know that something's got to
change on a bigger scale and that's when this book is appropriate for you. It's not, it's not something,
you know, I wanted to advertise like it's going to take longer. It's a more gradual approach, but I
said, you know, it's just a plain and simple truth. I've been coaching this for so long in so many
groups and so many individuals that I saw first of all in the intermittent fasting space you guys.
There is a really famous book by a wonderful woman, but I hate this book. I like the work of the
author, but the book is called Delay Don't Deny. Don't buy it. Because of that saying that, but I
received so many clients coming to me after using that method and failing or gaining all the way back.
And just like the name sounds delayed, don't deny, and this is not just about this book. It's about
the fasting community in a big way. It's just fast longer to clean up all your messes so you don't have
to change the hard things in your life. So you don't have to eat nutritious foods. So you don't have to
eat healthy foods or give up your ice cream and sugar and cakes and pies and pizza and everything. And
so that's what it's about. Don't deny yourself the foods that you love just fast longer.
And of course, Tatina, this makes a lot of sense. Before our listeners, fasting is a stressor.
That's why it works when it works. Fasting is a stressor called a whorimetic stressor. So it was
exercise or exercise. There's lots of things. Cold plunging or cryotherapy, infrared sonnas.
All of these cause a stress on your body that is just enough when at the appropriate dose,
just enough stress to make your genes, literally your DNA, react in a way that makes you stronger or
better or healthier. And so it's a beneficial adaptation known as whorimesis. But when you abuse it
or misuse it, it causes a maladaptation or undesirable results because the stress is too much that your
system buckles underneath it and causes you to plateau become hungrier. You know,
honestly, there's just a million things. But if we think about it in the context of exercise,
a lot of people have an easier time understanding this, we know if I wanted to run a marathon,
all of a sudden I'm all inspired because I'm going through a breakup and my friends run in a marathon.
And I'm like, I want to run a marathon, change my life. But I haven't ran since high school.
Like literally have not run more than a mile since high school. Do I start training for this marathon
running 10 miles tomorrow? Absolutely. Now that is the most ridiculous thing. Yeah. So what would happen
if I did? I mean, first of all, I wouldn't make the 10 miles. It's very unlikely I would make those 10
miles. But if I did, I would, I might get injured. It might take me all day and be the worst
experience of my whole life and I'll never want to run again. I could go on, but you get the point.
Yeah. So with fasting, we have to train our body for fasting. We have to train our fasting muscles.
We're not just training our body, either training our mind and we're learning how this works with
the circumstances of our life right now. And so not so fast was created to show people how to use
my reset method, which is what inspired the whole book. I've been teaching the reset method for
intermittent fasting, which comes from reset as an acronym. So each letter in the word reset describes
a phase of introducing your body to intermittent fasting in a way that can be in a lasting lifestyle.
So anybody can start intermittent fasting safely and comfortably with the reset method. No
matter who you are, no matter if you're like, I would never fast. I hate fasting. I ran so many
groups where people are like, I'm not interested in fasting, but we start them all on this 12-hour
intermittent fast because depending who you ask, they used to not consider 12 hours at fast.
Yeah. They ask you to fast 12 hours when you're getting blood work done. You're going in
for surgery, all these other things. So it is effective and it does make a difference. And I think
all of us should be going 12 hours without food. Yeah, absolutely.
overnight, obviously. Yeah. So that's a good starting point. So when we think about the reset
acronym, R is reduced carbs. E is eat nourishing foods. S is start with 12 hours. The next E is
extend your fast and the T is thoughtfully adapt. That's changed over the years, but it's a very
important part of making into a lifestyle. So the first three phases are some of the things we've
been talking about today. Reducing carbs also means reducing sugar. But it's not like you got to go
keto low carb. It's not like you had to be obsessive about these things, just like how you're
introducing your body gradually to fasting. You're introducing your body gradually to carbohydrate
moderation or reduction. And the same thing with eat nourishing foods. We don't expect you to do this
complete life overhaul. We want something that turns into something sustainable because you enjoy it.
And so when you do those things together at the same time, gradually reducing your carbs,
working on eating more nutritious foods and diversifying your diet and then starting with 12 hours,
you realize all of them work together to make them easier. And so that when it is time to extend
your fast and make it a little longer than 12 hours, using my method, not so fast, you are waiting
until you've been four to seven days. Usually four at 12 hours, we're going seven days straight,
including weekends, where 12 hours is effortless income to rule before on to the next increment.
So if you have one great day where 12 hours is great, you might be excited. I'm going to try 13 tomorrow.
Or if you have three days where 12 hours was not so bad. And you're like, I'm watching the clock,
but I can do this. Like I'm excited to lose weight. I'm going to go to 13 and then you try 13 hours.
And then it's the weekend and all these things are different about your schedule or you didn't get
sleep the night before. All of a sudden 13 hours is hard. And then you're like screw it. And then before
you know it, you already stopped because you don't even want to try anymore. And you're like, I've
screwed up. Like people have all kinds of stories that make them quit prematurely.
If you use this approach, instead, you wait until you're comfortable. So that's like saying,
you know, you run one mile. And if one mile is really hard, you just keep running one mile each day.
And so that becomes easier. And you have the confidence like, okay, no, this is good. I feel
really good. I'm ready to do a mile and a half or two miles. And that's the same thing with fasting.
You're going 12 hours. Then you're trying 12 and a half hours and you're sticking with 12 and a half
hours until your it's effortless and comfortable until you go 13 hours and so on. And so just that
alone is enough for people often to make huge changes with their their health by implementing the
reset method. So anybody can grab that guide for free on my website. It's marisa moon.com/if freedom.
So the I up stands for intermittent fasting, I have freedom. And so grab that guide. It's a 24 page
ebook. And, you know, there's plenty of coaching to go along with it. And by all means grab the book if
you want a deeper dive, but that's essentially, you know, the whole reason the book just goes into
a lot more than that acronym can because one entire part of the book is dedicated to sleep.
Another is is dedicated to stress. And all the aspects we need to consider, including women's hormones
and including just all the the the stressors that you face daily and how that affects your
body's stress tolerance for fasting. Yeah. And and like you said, when we first started talking about
the book, it's not just a fasting book. And and when I started reading it and I haven't finished it yet,
I can't wait to finish it. It's, you know, it's it's it's it's I don't know what I would call it, but it
goes into so many different things. And I yeah, it's it's a great book. Thank you. Those links will be
in the show notes too. I'll leave those links in the show notes, but let everybody know how they
can connect with you further. Like where do you hang out on social media? How can they connect with you?
Yes. Well, I'm primarily on Instagram, I'd say. And Instagram, you can find me at marisa_moon_. And
I'm also on Facebook, marisa moon marisa moon wellness my website is marisa moon.com. And, um, you know,
if you're getting this broadcast like this episode airs before March 12, go ahead and grab the book on
Kindle because it's 599 for pre-order right now. So that is such a killer prize. It's a big book.
That's a killer prize. It's big because I intentionally made a lot of white space, a lot of bulleted
lists so that you could take in this like, you know, gigant, cargantuan amount of information in a way
that is digestible and not overwhelming. And so I could have had the book be 300 pages, but it's
over 400 because of those choices that I made. And I've heard over and over again how easy it is to
read this book. And I wrote it in the way that I talk to. So I really hope that, um, if you're
interested, you will check out the book in 599 pre-order is a deal. So support me in this launch phase if
if you're interested because I'm trying to reach the best seller status. How cool would it be if I
could say that I'm a best seller right now is a number one new release. So it's it's definitely climbing
and it's possible. That is possible. Oh, that's very exciting. So let's help Marissa get to like
best seller. That is a good deal. That's an awesome deal on Kindle. So that's a really good deal.
Thank you. Well, I want to thank you again for coming on. And I hope to have you on again in
the future at some point. We could talk about so many different topics. So thank you once again. And
using all the information about Marissa will be in the show now so you can connect with her.
Awesome. Bye. Bye.
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