Redefining & Redesigning the Holidays: You’re Allowed to Make It Your Own

Every year, as soon as Halloween ends, the world seems to collectively lose its mind. Suddenly we’re blasted with holiday music in every store, inboxes fill with “massive sales,” and we’re told, again, that this is the most magical time of the year.

Except…for a lot of people, it’s not.

Some people don’t get along with their families.

Some don’t have anyone to spend the holidays with.

Some are grieving.

Some are exhausted.

Some dread the travel, the pressure, the cost, or the expectations.

And some just don’t vibe with the whole thing at all.

But here’s the truth no one says out loud: you are allowed to redefine the holidays for yourself. You’re not obligated to follow society’s “rules,” especially when those rules feel more like unpaid labor mixed with consumerism and a dash of guilt.

This season can be whatever you want it to be

You Have Complete Creative Control

Traditions are just habits someone invented long ago, usually a man, usually in a time when women were doing all the work. And society’s current version of the holidays? Let’s be honest: it’s become a billionaire enrichment festival disguised as family bonding.

So let’s toss the script.

You get to decide what the holidays mean to you.

You get to choose how you spend your time.

You get to define what feels good, nourishing, peaceful, or joyful.

No rules. No “shoulds.” No mandatory performances.

You get to create new rituals for yourself and your family

Why Reinventing Helps (Especially as Life Changes)

Your life shifts. Your relationships shift. Your needs shift.

So why shouldn’t your traditions shift too?

I reinvented my holidays after my divorce. It wasn’t realistic, or helpful, to pretend everything was the same. New house, new rhythm, new reality. So I created new traditions for me and my kids, small things, cozy things, things that made the season feel like ours instead of a reminder of what had changed.

Now that my kids are grown, I reinvented the holidays again. I don’t do the marathon shopping or stress spirals. I don’t travel just because a calendar says I should. I acknowledge the season, enjoy the parts that feel nostalgic or sweet, and skip the parts that feel forced or draining. And honestly? It’s liberating.

You’re allowed to do that. Every year, if you want.

Ask Yourself: What Do YOU Actually Want?

If you stripped away the guilt, the pressure, the traditions that don’t fit anymore, and the expectations from family, what would you choose?

Think about:

• Do you want to spend the holidays with family, or would you rather spend time with friends, or even solo?
• Do you crave quiet or celebration?
• Would you rather travel somewhere warm than freeze your way through December?
• Do you want to volunteer, help others, or spend the season in service?
• Do you want to make gifts instead of buying them?
• Do you want to treat the holiday as a season rather than a single day?
• Do you want to skip it entirely and treat it like a regular day?

Nothing is off the table. And you don’t need a “reason” to choose differently

There Are So Many Beautiful Ways to Redesign the Season

Here are some ideas to spark your imagination:

Connection & Community

• Host a low-pressure potluck with friends.
• Have a cozy craft night.
• Start a new tradition with chosen family instead of biological family.
• Create a “warm drink night”, tea, cocoa, conversation.
• Have a get together to make crafts to give as gifts.

Solo-Friendly

• Take yourself on a personal retreat.
• Book a cabin or go to the beach.
• Have a movie + favorite food marathon at home.
• Use the day for rest, reflection, or absolutely nothing.

Creative or Handmade Holiday

• Paint, craft, bake, make skincare, preserve foods, can jams, create art.
• Write letters instead of buying gifts.
• Support local artists and makers instead of big corporations.

Alternative Celebration Styles

• Celebrate before or after the actual holiday.
• Treat December as a season, not a single day.
• Redefine “tradition” as whatever feels good this year.
• Have small gatherings instead of one high-pressure event.

Giving Back

• Volunteer with a local shelter or community kitchen.
• Sponsor a family.
• Make care kits for the unhoused.
• Donate time or skills instead of buying gifts.

Travel & Adventure

• Spend the holidays somewhere warm and bright.
• Go somewhere snowy and cozy.
• Take a spontaneous trip just because you can.

For Parents

• Create meaningful experiences instead of a mountain of presents.
• Bake cookies, watch movies, do crafts, decorate together.
• Teach kids about community, giving, and creativity.

Or…Just Don’t Celebrate

• If you’re not religious or not into the holiday at all, skip it.
• Treat it as a normal day with extra snacks.
• Clean, organize, reset, or dive into a passion project.

Let me tell you, this is soooo freeing, I've done it!

There’s no wrong answer.

This Can Change Every Single Year

Maybe this year is quiet.

Maybe next year is festive.

Maybe some years it feels joyful and some years it feels tender.

Maybe you reinvent it again when your family shifts, when kids grow up, when life changes.

Holidays should bend to your life, not the other way around.

Your Holiday, Your Design

The holidays don’t have to be stressful or lonely or expensive or obligatory.

They can be simple. They can be joyful. They can be cozy. They can be peaceful.

They can be whatever you decide they are.

You’re allowed to reclaim this time.

You’re allowed to rewrite the script.

And you’re allowed to create a holiday season that nourishes you, not drains you.

So, if you could change one thing this year what would it be? Share it with me on my socials or over on my Patreon where you can follow along for free.

Xo, T