Why is it that when we're talking about aging, especially in women, it's always framed as
decline, loss, or something to fear? What have I told you that aging is not only a privilege,
but one of the most powerful and liberating phases of life? I don't want to age gracefully,
as a matter of fact, I hate that phrase. I want laugh lines that prove I've lived fully. I want
silver strands in my hair that reflect my resilience, and I refuse to play by societies
and possible rules of what a woman should look like. This, my friend, is the era of the wise woman.
A time to embrace aging, step into our confidence, and celebrate the wisdom we've earned along the way.
In today's episodes, I'm sharing five empowering steps to help you thrive in your wise woman phase,
and why this chapter just might be your most powerful one yet. Let's get into it.
You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-Care podcast. I'm your host Tina Stinson,
and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout that shook my world.
Now I'm laying it all out, the deep-level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed
that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving. Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing,
resilience, and a soul's journey to alignment. This is where real conversations about deep-level
self-care happen. Let's get into it.
Hey guys, welcome to the Soul Aligned Self-Care podcast. I'm so excited about today's topic,
or I should say passionate about it. I've been wanting to talk about this more on the podcast,
but I just wanted to really come up with some different ways to help empower you during this time
in your life. As I said in the intro, something that really irritates me, but also,
I want to make a point that this needs to be redefined is aging, especially in women.
It's often framed as decline or loss. I mean, think about it. We look at men and we see how people
in society talk about men as they age, and it's completely different than the way they talk about
women. As a matter of fact, most women talk about feeling invisible. I don't really feel invisible,
but I also think I like being invisible. I don't like getting a lot of attention, especially by men.
Maybe that's why I don't notice it too much. But another thing I notice as I get older is that
it's a privilege to get older, and it's wonderful, and I'm more comfortable in my body. I'm more
confident. I just feel so much more sure of myself in every way. I have knowledge, I have wisdom,
and I'm always open to learning more. So it's not that I've closed off to learning now that I'm older.
I feel more powerful than ever. It actually feels like the ultimate opportunity.
Every line in my face, every strand of my gray hair, every shift in energy is a symbol of our
lived experience, our resilience and our growing wisdom. And this is my era of the wise woman.
And I'm sure a lot of you listening today can feel that in some way, shape or form, or you know,
it's coming at some point, but it's a time to really embrace yourself, step into your power,
or all the power that you've, it's like almost like you've created all this, the wisdom, the experience,
and celebrate that. You know, there's so much depth to it and so much beauty.
And once again, a phrase that I really hate is aging gracefully. And you know, what does that mean?
Okay? Because like when I reach the finish line, I just want to be all used up. I always talk to my
kids. I'm like, I just want to be covered in tattoos and all wrinkly and crazy looking. Like, I just
want to look like I just, I lived, you know what I mean? I just don't want to be like preserved
perfectly so that I look good when I die. I mean, what's the point of that? I'm here to live my life,
not look good for others. And of course, I want to look good. I do care about the way I look and I
take very good care of myself. But as far as fitting myself into like that extremely impossible box
that society has created for women of all ages, our whole lives, fuck that. That's all I'm saying. I'm
not playing that game. I'm just not. I'm creating what feels good to me. Like, I want to look good.
But what it's for me, it's not for anybody else. And so I'm not going to let anybody else define that.
Excuse me. I am still losing my voice. Can you believe that? I have a loss inge. I have a drink. So
hold on a minute. I'm going to take a sip of my drink. I have some tea. So I remember in 2019 when I first
started letting my hair go gray, I posted a picture on Instagram. And I have to say most of the comments
were so supportive. There were so many women who are like, oh, I wish I could do that. And you know,
I basically was like in my head, I didn't say this out loud, but I was like, you can, you could do
whatever you want. But so many women feel so like, God, so pressured to look a certain way that they
don't want to do that. It's just too disruptive for them. And I completely get that. But there was one
comment that stood out. And she said, she started with the comment, you know, it looks really good on you,
but you know, there's always that. But if you dyed your hair, you would look 10 years younger. And I
really thought about this response because it's really, I don't know how else to put this, but it's
just really fucked up. Like, why do I need to look 10 years younger? I am the age I am, you know,
even if I looked older than the age I am, like who cares? Why do I need to look younger? Do I want
like the gaze of younger men? No, no, absolutely not. Like, I don't, I don't even want the gaze of
men my age sometimes. Like, it's just actually annoying. And so I guess ask yourself, why do we need
to look younger? It's like that expectation that we're supposed to be perfectly preserved, like
freaking pickles, right? So now I know it's just, it is like a societal expectation, but personally,
when I really think about it, I just don't care. Like I said earlier, I like to look good, but looking
good is defined by me. I take great care of myself, but my, the care that I take care of myself isn't
just about looks. It's about being really, really healthy as I age. I don't want to get weak. I don't
want to get, um, I don't want to not be able to do things because I'm older. So as we get older,
as a, as a lot of you probably know, it's almost like you have to work twice as hard to just sustain
that, you know, that feeling of strength and that ability to do the things that you always wanted,
you know, you want to keep doing. It's like you have to like work at it a little bit. It came naturally
to you. Like I didn't feel it probably until my mid 50s, probably until I went through a bad
applause where I felt like I was, my body was slowing down a little bit and I had to work so much harder
to gain muscle or just to even stay toned, right? That's when I started noticing it. But
I don't need to look younger. As I said, it's a privilege to be my age and I really hope that I
get to keep going, you know? So I do understand why women think they can't embrace this, but I think
the world is changing and I think women are starting to redefine, um, aging and instead of fearing it,
they're embracing it because damn, it feels so good. Like stepping fully into a confidence,
being comfortable in your body, like not like you run out of fucks to give. You really, really do.
There's a little club on TikTok. I think it's the Do Not Care Club. It's cold or something like that.
Definitely look it up. It's hilarious, but it's a bunch of women who are like, I just don't care
about any of this stuff and they list all these things and it's so funny, but it's true. You really,
you really don't care, you know? Um, I want to be comfortable, you know, but I want to look good,
but I just, I want to be so, I just want to expand into my comfort and those of you are in the same
places, me know what I mean by that. So today I want to share with you five empowering practices that
help you thrive in this phase of your life and they're very simple, you know, and pretty obvious
some of them I would say, but so important. And I want to add why supporting fellow women amplifies
everyone growth at the end. I'm going to talk about why that, why that amplifies everyone.
And I want to emphasize that we need to be our own best friends. Like we need to sport each other
as women. We have so many people telling us that we have to look a certain way, be a certain way
and none of it's positive. And it's, and it starts like it starts in our, it starts at like 10
years old for crying out loud where we, you know, we're, we're almost programmed to think that we
can't do the same things that boys can do, right? It's just a way we're treated, the way we're talked to.
And I know that's shifting and I'm, thank God it's shifting, but we really, really, really need to
be our own cheerleaders. Like for crying out loud, don't go on social media and start judging someone by
the way they look. Like don't make comment. If you have nothing good to say, just follow that rule,
don't say anything at all. Like and I, I tell myself this all the time, you know, I see somebody
maybe talking about a certain diet or something like that and I'm like, oh my God, that's not good for you.
Like and I, I just go, like I'm ready to start typing and I'm like, ooh Tina, I don't be that person.
Don't be that person because maybe that diet works for her because, you know, and it might have done
wonderful things for her and that's not in my business, right? So it's like, do not, like if you don't
have anything good to say, you don't have anything good to add, then say nothing at all. You know what I'm
saying? We need to support each other as women. So the first thing I want to talk about is celebrate
your natural beauty and there's, there's a little bit of a side step to this also and I'll share that
with you, but embrace yourself. Embrace your wise woman face. Honor your natural appearance. Like if
you're ready for that embrace your gray hair. I did it and it was the best thing I did. My hair is
healthier because I stopped at dying it. I was beginning to think about the effects of the hair dye,
you know, on my skin and doing it for so many years. What effect does that have on my body? These are
things you think about when you get older and you don't think about when you're younger, but, you know,
embrace your laugh lines. It means you're happy, right? Even embrace those those, what they call them,
the 11 lines between because you've gone through some shit, right? You want to live your life
fully. We're going to go through some shit. You're going to have the good times and the bad times,
you have to have one to have the other, right? So also embrace those subtle changes in your body.
It's, you know, when first started, like all those changes started to happen to me, it made me feel
like I didn't know myself anymore, but when I thought of it as like, like, what a butterfly,
like a butterfly goes through when it transforms into a butterfly, it's like a completely different
being, right? And that's exactly how I feel right now. I feel like a completely different being
than I was in my forties. These aren't signs of decline. There's just markers of your journey and
your lived experience, they're just the natural changes that we go through as we get older. And
choosing to embrace these changes is an act of empowerment and self-love. Now, this is the little
side step I want to make. I want to add this. If you want to dye your hair and you want to do other
things to make yourself feel good, like Botox injections and plastic surgery, go for it, but
don't do it for a man or don't do it to be accepted by society. Do it for you. Do it to make yourself
feel good. Like, I've definitely had conversations with my friends and they're like, what would be an
acceptable plastic surgery for you to do? Okay. So just let me kind of divulge. I'm, I am
such a chicken chit and I don't like any type of surgery. Okay? So that's like number one main reason
why I don't like to participate in any of that, including sticking needles in my face and stuff.
I'm terrified of that. So I've never done any of that, but it's not because I didn't think about it.
Like, you know, so like people ask me, what would be a procedure that you would do? Okay. So like,
if I had to pick one part of myself that I didn't like, it would be my neck. I have like a
like a flabby turkey neck type of thing, but you know, there's a part of me that's like, I'm not going to like,
it doesn't bother me enough to have surgery and I'm just going to embrace it because I'm not 20
anymore. Like, I'm, you know, I'm on the other side of like late late 50s, right? And so it's like,
okay, I'm going to look old. There's nothing I can do to stop it. So I'd rather spend that money on
like a vacation or something. That makes sense. So I don't want you to take when I, when I talk about
celebrating your natural beauty and how it's important, the reason why I bring this up isn't to like
shame women who like to do all the things. Absolutely not. You need to do it for yourself though, right?
I bring this up because it's okay and it should be okay for us to look our age as we get older.
And if you're comfortable with embracing it, go for it. I feel pretty comfortable. I love how there's
more women like in like the, you know, you know, celebrities and stuff like that. I'm not a big celebrity
person, but like Sarah, Jessica, Parka, Andy McDowell, I'm trying to think of some other women.
I think Marl Street, like has let her hair go a little gray. I don't know, there's so many. There's a lot
of women now. And I think a lot of them, Andy McDowell, she's absolutely gorgeous. She looks,
she just wears it so well. But like if you're feeling it, do it. If not, like do it, do what makes you
feel good inside. And don't let the pressures of society or anyone else make you do it for any of
the reason. So a little tip in this area, try little subtle self-care rituals like hair masks,
skin care routines, styling your gray hair in ways that feels authentic. It's not about hiding your
age, it's about highlighting your inner radiance, right? So like I loved away my gray hair looks when
it's really long. And I love that I have like a salt and pepper kind of thing going. And I like making
like the hair that's not gray darker and the hair that's gray like grayer. And so using like a
hair mask that does that makes it look really, really cool. You need even more dramatic. So I love doing
that. So yeah, try different things that really embrace your age, but also make you feel really
good and beautiful. Number two, cultivate mindfulness and self-compassion. This is so important,
because as we age, it just brings so many shifts in energy, holy crap, my energy is completely different.
Your mood, your physical strength, mindfulness practices, like meditation, I'm going to give a
shout out to Yoganitra because I'm becoming a guide right now. I'm getting certified as guide.
And it's been absolutely game changing for me during menopause with my sleep. I started doing it to
help me sleep, but you get so much more out of it than you realize. And I'll talk more about that
in another time, but that is just one of the practices. So if you have trouble sleeping in the show
notes, I'll put a link to one of my teachers' practices because I'm not creating those recording
chat so that you could try it out, but amazing for deep rest. They call it deep rest, non-sleep, deep rest,
so like NSDR. And it definitely changed my days. So when I have those nights, when I couldn't sleep at
all, I would do a Yoganitra practice during the day just to help me almost get through the day. I would
do it in the afternoon instead of the cup of coffee, you know what I mean? Or both, I have the cup of
coffee, do a Yoganitra, and then afterwards you're like a new woman. But anyway, moving on with mindfulness
practices, like journaling, breath work, also game changing for me, they help you navigate these
changes with confidence and clarity, so supportive. So when you respond to your body and mind,
with self-compassion, you create that space to really, truly fully honor yourself. Don't judge
yourself for not being the same person you were when you were in your 20s. Create a space that supports
you where you are right now, where you can create a space where you feel loved, supported, and you can
thrive because beating yourself up does not help anyone. So I like to say shift with the knowledge of
your body. So as we age, we need different things. Different workouts serve us at different times
in our lives. So listen to the knowledge of your body and give it what it needs at this time.
Honor yourself. That is one of the best forms of self-love that you could do for yourself. So a tip,
spend five to 10 minutes, five to 10 minutes, each morning reflecting on like gratitude,
setting an intention for the day, and that intention could be so simple, like it could just be like,
I'm going to allow myself to rest today. I'm going to just do some things that bring me joy.
Like it doesn't have to be like some big goal. Simple, daily rituals help you maintain your
well-being, your inner radiance, and it helps you feel aligned with yourself. So ritual, ritual,
ritual, I'm going to keep saying that because when you create rituals for yourself, it's so supportive.
Okay, number three, prioritize your physical health. This has also been something that I've been
really, really, really focused on, especially right now. Your body is your most loyal companion
and maintaining your vitality and strength is essential for embracing your wise woman era.
We want to feel good and we want to feel strong, right? So movement, nutrition, and rest are pillars,
so important for us as we move forward. So strength training is so important. I'm sure you've heard
that. Everybody says it. It's good for your bones. We're losing so much muscle mass. We want to be
independent as we get older. We want to stay independent. I want to stay independent until I'm dead.
Okay, I want to like, I always tell my kids, if you see me like die during like a run, a pill,
or something like that, just know that I was happy and don't be sad because I want to die being
capable. Okay, so that is one of my goals. So I really focus on I tuning into knowledge of my body,
again, you know, I might have, you know, I do strength training three times a week. I might wake up one
morning and just feel so freaking tired. Like maybe I had a stressful day the day before maybe I didn't
sleep well, whatever it is, I'm not going to do that strength training that day because I know I'm
not going to have good form. I know it's going to make me feel shitty. So maybe I'll just do a
a gentle yoga class and a yoga, Neetra, you know, and then I'll schedule that workout for another day.
Okay, so it's like listen to the body. So strength training I focus on. I definitely do yoga almost
every day and daily walks help boost energy. They help keep you balanced just good for your overall
health. It's good to get outside as much as you can. So I've shifted so much in all of these areas. I
used to be such a hardcore workout person. I used to run 20 miles a week, sometimes more. I used to
do like, I used to do CrossFit for crying out loud. So like I feel like I went through like this
metamorphosis and now I'm like this amazing butterfly that needs so many different things, right? And
I'm giving myself what I know is good for me and also what I know feeds like my soul and supports
my body. So I'm a new person. I've changed into a new person. So I had to shift to accommodate this new
version of me. And I'm not unhappy about it. Because once again, I'm not 20 anymore. I'm 50. I'm going to
be 57 in like a month. And so supporting myself and making myself feel good in that position and
not judging myself and making myself feel like I'm less than is so important. But prioritize
your nutrition and your health tip. Focus on what feels good. Now it looks perfect. Aging is about
functionality, joy, empowerment and not perfection. Okay. Like listen to the knowledge of the body.
Okay. Number four, nurture meaningful relationships. I definitely kind of not that I struggle
nurturing my relationships, but I struggle to find a circle of women where I live because I live
very world. There's not a lot of people that have are like-minded and weird like me. Okay. So no
woman thrives alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive, inspiring women is just so crucial for
empowerment. Sharing your stories is so important. Wisdom and encouragement helps you and others
step into your highest self. We can support each other. We could encourage each other. I think it's
like a critical time in our lives for having a strong supportive relationship, relationships with
other women. We need the support as we transform into something else. We feel unsteady during
this transformation and having these support systems right in place are so important. So if you
don't have that support, definitely go out and find some like-minded women like you. I do this
all the time. I'm always looking for like new groups to get involved in, volunteer work, whatever.
I've definitely met some wonderful people. They're out there right now looking for you. I promise
this because I talk to so many women who are like, I just want to find someone that wants to do the
same things as me and bubble. So everybody's looking for like somebody to add to their circle. They're
just trying to find that authentic connection. I think we spend a lot of our time connecting
to other women that are just aligned with other areas in our life. For example, we connect with
women because we have children and they have children and then there's a play day and then you're
before you know you're hanging out with this person but you have nothing else in common right and you
don't realize that until the children grow and they go off to college and then you're with this
person you're like, why am I friends with this person? There's you know things like that happen. So
like as you get older, I think it's really hard to find and connect with somebody who really is
you know like-minded but the best way that you can attract that into your life is by being
your authentic self. You're like step into your weirdness and like your fellow weirdos will find you.
So tip schedule, a regular time with friends and yeah, I definitely would say schedule this,
join a women's group, like I did that, celebrate growth, creativity, feminine, solidarity, we need that.
Remember the power of community amplifies the individual. It amplifies your confidence too.
So don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and make new friends. Do the things that you love
and you'll meet the people who love the same things. It's really that simple.
So and I have something next week that I'll be sharing in my blog that will support this. It's
very exciting. So I'm not going to talk about it right now but next week I have something that's
supportive of like women and groups. So number five, engage in lifelong learning. I think this is
so important. So before I started really going deep into coaching, I've been a part-time coach
for a really long time. I think since I'm trying to remember 2015, I think it was when I got my first
like coaching certification, but I wasn't full time. I did it like part-time on the side and I sold
real estate and I also had a dog business and some of you know that some of you don't like dog
watching, walking, sitting. And I also had a dog business down in my daughter had a dog business
down in Charlotte, North Carolina and I did that with her. It was a lot of fun working with her.
We were extremely busy but we got shut down during COVID and completely put out a business.
But that's a whole nother podcast, right? So anyway, I remember I had this client and she was in her
80s and she actually wasn't not my favorite person. She was a little judgmental and among other things,
but one of the things that impressed me about her was that she was so eager to learn
and there just wasn't a lot of opportunities for her. I think she was 87.
Hold on, I need another step here of my tea.
But she was so for 87, she got around really well, she was so sharp and I like I think that her life
long love of learning contributed to this. So I think that when you're in this phase of life,
it's definitely a chance to explore new passions and interests. You know like a lot of times when
we're moving into the space of life, our kids are like have their own lives. We have a lot more
independence than we had during those years when we were raising kids and even if we weren't raising
kids, we might have been focused on a career and then maybe now you're thinking more about retirement,
maybe not, I don't know. But anyway, a lot of times at this point in our life, we have some space
for new passions and interest and lifelong learning keeps your mind sharp. It fuels your creativity and it
kind of like opens up new opportunities for you. It opens up new ways for you to express yourself,
whether it's like a new language, maybe it's art. I see a lot of women pursuing art, it's something
they always wanted to do and didn't have the time for and they step into that. I've done that myself
and I enjoy it so much or sometimes a course, personal development, growth doesn't stop at any age.
Like I think there's only one time when you should stop learning and that's when you're dead.
Okay? That's it. That's the way I feel. This may be very blunt but it's true. Keep learning,
keep moving and it keeps your mind and your body inspired. I remember hearing the saying that you
if you keep moving, they can't throw dirt on you, meaning you're not going to die. I don't know how
true that is but I always thought it was kind of funny. So a little tip, pick one new skill or hobby
every few months. This helps inspire us and power us and it creates like alignment with yourself. It's
you know, even if it doesn't work out and you end up not liking it, just trying new things.
I remember listening to this podcast a while ago and there was this man being interviewed, I don't
remember who it was but he was doing like this little experiment where he would learn something new
every 30 days. So he would pick it and then he would go deep dive into it for 30 days and then he
would pick something new and he just just kept doing this for the whole year and it changed his
whole life and I think that's a very cool experiment and it was very inspiring to me. But yeah,
if anything, it creates like that joyful sense of curiosity that you had when you were younger and
I love that feeling. Okay, so moving forward, I talked about this at the beginning supporting
each other. It's kind of like the, just like the ultimate power move for women right now. Okay,
it's the most profound practice that we could use moving forward is to support other women with every
ounce of your being. Okay, when we lift each other up, we create this like ripple effect of empowerment,
wisdom, confidence and it benefits everyone. It doesn't just benefits the women at our age,
this wise woman phase, but it benefits all the women that are coming after us. It supports them.
We need to step into this wide wise woman phase and share our knowledge, our experience with
everybody and support all the other women doing the same thing. The world needs more wise women
and they need like they're there. They're just not all stepping out into their power.
And encouraging them and supporting them and offering mentorship and building friendships with them
can really inspire like a whole generation. And I think that is something that we really need in
the world right now. So stepping into your wise woman phase is not just a celebration of you moving
forward. It's, it's what we need as women. It gives us confidence and a radiance. It's about
living fully and being that strong capable woman that's embracing her wisdom and her experience and
kind of cultivating that comfort in your own skin. And by honoring this, by honoring your
natural beauty, your body and your mind and building these meaningful connections with other women,
doing the same thing and supporting them and supporting the women who don't feel like they can
to bring them, just bring them out with us and carry them with us. You create like a whole era of power.
Okay. You create clarity, enjoy, not just for yourself, but everybody around you.
So this is your time to step into your, this is your calling right now. This is me calling you out.
Step into your wise woman era with grace, confidence and alignment. You know, aligned with yourself
and the way you live your life. The world is definitely in need and waiting for your wisdom. So
also I just want to remind everyone I have a special going on right now. If you're ready to go
deeper into your self-care journey, I'm going to invite you to join me in the Solar Line Self-Care
Intensive, which is an online program itself guided. But right now, if you joined during the month
of August, you'll receive three private 30-minute sessions to help guide you through the course.
And this offer is only good until August 31st and I will put the link to the intensive in the show
notes. So if you're interested in doing like a really deep dive into self-care, that is the place
to do it. Okay. That's all for today and I look forward to seeing you next week. Thank you so much.
Love you.
Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to
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You'll find the link in the show notes and I'd love to see you there. Until next time, be sure to take
good care of yourself. Love you. Bye.
