Hey guys, welcome back to the Soul Online Self-Care Podcast.
Thank you for joining me.
Thank you for coming back if this is a return visit.
And for anybody that's new here, welcome.
I am just so happy to spend this time with you.
Before I get started, I just want to tell you about something
I have that I'm going to be releasing soon.
It is an audio series and it's called "Purpose Foundations."
And it's about really tuning into your intuition
to follow your purpose.
So if you've been feeling stuck, if you're feeling like you need
to sort of reinvent yourself or you feel like you want something
more and you want to step into that, this audio series
will be for you.
So be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
So I'll announce on on here.
So if you subscribe, you should hear about it.
You could also follow me over on YouTube at Soul Online Live
or you could join me on Patreon at Soul Online Live.
You could follow me there for free as well,
just so that you get notified when that gets released.
OK, guys, today we are talking about intuition,
how your nervous system blocks your intuition.
And I'm going to give you a simple fix.
So have you ever had that gut feeling that you ignored
only to regret it later?
I used to do this all the time.
Or it felt so overwhelmed with sheds
that you couldn't hear your own voice.
Also something that was very prominent in my life
for probably a decade.
So for me, overwhelmed was one of the biggest reasons
I didn't hear those tugs, those hits that you get.
And as a single mom with three kids, when I was raising them,
I was always in a state of survival.
And those two things, overwhelmed and survival
are exactly what keep you disconnected from your intuition
from yourself.
I was completely disconnected with myself.
Between everyone in the world having career demands,
family responsibilities, a whole lot of societal expectations,
and just all those sheds that I talked about,
your natural wisdom gets completely drowned out by that.
We get bombarded all the time with so much information.
We have so much data coming in from everywhere.
We carry a computer around in our hand
that's constantly alerting us.
So when you think about it, it's really, really hard
to avoid all of this information, all of these things
that are pulling at you.
You have to be really intentional about what you allow in
in order to protect your energy.
So what if your intuition is not broken?
A lot of people say to me, I don't think I have intuition.
Well, everybody has intuition.
I think of it as another sense.
Like you have a sense of smell, sense of taste.
I feel like intuition is like that.
I think we've just been so disconnected from it.
So what if it isn't broken?
It's just waiting for the right conditions
to speak clearly for you to hear it.
This was the case for me, 120%.
Now I create very intentionally the right conditions
to connect and hear the signs.
We all have access to them.
We just need to slow down long enough to listen.
That's it.
It's really pretty simple.
So your body before your wisdom, why regulation needs to come first?
So one of saying here is, why do, why the nervous system?
So the title of this podcast, how your nervous system
blocks your intuition.
So let's talk science, but keep it really simple.
Think of your nervous system as like a built-in alarm system.
And you have two main modes, the gas pedal and the brake.
The gas pedal, this is your fighter flight.
It's the stress.
It's the anxiety.
It's the go, go, go that kicks in when you feel threatened
or overwhelmed.
And the brake, that is-- so the gas pedal,
that's your sympathetic nervous system, OK?
Now the brake is your parasympathetic nervous system.
And this is rest and digest.
It's the calm.
It's the pause.
It's the state where your body can heal.
And your mind can actually hear all the quiet stuff.
It's where you go when you do breath work and meditation.
That's the rest and digest or the parasympathetic nervous system.
So we have the pedal, the gas pedal.
That's when you're in fighter flight and the brake.
That's when you're in rest and digest.
So when you're in survival mode, stressed, anxious,
distracted.
So think about a single mom with three kids.
Yes, I was stressed.
Yes, I was anxious all the time.
I was handling everything by myself.
And when my kids started to play sports, it was insane.
And I was working full time.
Distracted, that's an understatement.
I was so distracted.
I would forget my own birthday.
So I was like that for probably 10 years.
When you're like that, your fit is slammed on the gas.
Your intuition's signal gets lost in all that noise.
It's like a volume knob turned all the way
to static, chaotic feelings, overwhelm, all the way to mute,
numbness, or I just don't know.
And I would be--
I'd go back and forth between those two things.
Just like complete craziness and then complete--
I don't know if numbness is the right word,
but almost just like so exhausted
that I would just be tuned out.
So maybe yes, numbness.
So I believe we are so distracted.
When we're that distracted, we not only
fail to hear it, but we're also disconnected
from the body's inner wisdom.
Those signals that our body gives to us.
I was completely disconnected.
And this is not an accident, but I'll
get into that for a second.
I just want to talk about how disconnected I was.
I was so disconnected from my body
that I couldn't recognize pain or exhaustion,
or like if I was sick.
So I wouldn't recognize I was sick until I would just
drop over because I was just so distracted, so disconnected.
I wouldn't recognize I was tired until I would actually--
my body would start shaking.
That's how--
yes, those are body signals, but those
are emergency body signals.
It's not like I never felt tired because I was so amped up,
but then I would just be sitting still.
I remember sitting at like basketball
practice with my kids.
And my legs would just shake while I was sitting there.
And it took me a while to figure out what was happening.
And then I finally figured out I was exhausted.
So I wasn't connected to my body signals.
So one of the reasons I say this is not an accident
is we've been conditioned by the patriarchal system
to override that quiet and voice.
We're taught to prioritize logic.
Logic is like respected more.
It's considered more--
well, it's just considered--
I don't even know how to put it to be honest with you.
But society prioritizes logic.
They don't prioritize intuition.
Sometimes they don't even respect it.
So we also seek external approval.
We glorify the hustle.
We glorify-- we actually glorify how hard we work.
You'll ask your friend, well, how are you doing?
They'll be like, oh my god, I'm so busy.
I'm so exhausted.
I didn't sleep last night.
I've been working so hard.
It's almost like people brag about it.
I think this is slowly shifting.
People are getting tired of this.
So this is disconnection on a systemic level.
It serves a structure that values output
and parodactivity over well-being.
And I don't know about you, but this system
doesn't work for me.
It doesn't work for my body.
And I'm completely done with it.
But here's why this matters more than ever right now.
We are in a cultural moment of reclaiming feminine wisdom.
People want feminine wisdom.
Healing this connection isn't just personal.
It's how we rebuild.
The current patriarchal system is collapsing right now.
We're all aware of it because it serves no one in the end.
We are learning to create from a place of collaboration,
care, and true interknowing from community.
And so this goes deeper than just learning how to read your own body.
This benefits all of us.
So I'm going to teach you a little bit, like, a 90-second reset, OK?
Kind of like a grounding practice for, like, instant clarity
to help you really start to connect to yourself.
But before we get started, I want to talk about how
it's not a one and done kind of a deal.
OK?
This is something you need to do with yourself continuously.
And the more you do it, the easier it will get.
The more you do it, the stronger that connection
with your intuition in yourself will be.
So it's kind of like working out.
The more you do it, the better you'll get at it.
And you'll get to a point where it feels almost natural.
You don't even have to try.
So how do we turn down the static?
Or how do we hit the break just for a moment?
This isn't about finding the answer for everything immediately.
It's not about, I don't want your expectation to be--
you're just going to be so good at intuition immediately.
This has to be practiced, OK?
That's why they call meditation, breathwork.
They call it a meditation practice, a breathwork practice.
This is the same thing.
It's about creating the quiet where it'll
create space for an answer to land, if that makes sense.
So let's do this together right now.
So if you're driving or something that's just
saved this podcast and do it later,
but if you're in a place where you could relax for a few minutes
and close your eyes, then I want you to try this.
So I want you to put your feet flat on the floor.
If you're sitting in a chair or something like that,
that's fantastic.
If your feet aren't touching the floor, that's fine.
But I want you to relax for a moment.
And I want you to just take one deep breath in right now
through your nose and then exhale through the mouth.
And then just place your hands either on your heart center
or just on your thighs.
That just kind of brings you back into your body.
I just want you to be a little bit more present.
Now I want you to name three things
that you can physically touch from where you are.
So it could be like the fabric on your pants
or whatever you're wearing.
It could be the chair you're sitting on.
It could be, I'm at my desk.
So it could be my desk.
It could be the floor beneath you.
Just name three things.
I'll give you just a second.
And now we're going to do some breathing.
So close your eyes for a moment.
And I want you to take three deep breaths.
But what I want you to do is breathe in through the nose,
out through the mouth like you're blowing out a candle.
And I want the exhale to be longer than the inhale.
OK?
And then after you do the three breaths,
I want you to listen for the quiet sound you can hear
in the room right now.
So do the three breaths right now.
[inhaling]
OK, so I'm giggling right now because the one sound
that I hear is the TV that I left on in the other room.
And the whole time I'm thinking, "God, I hope they can hear that."
And big bang theory is on my TV in the background.
So that's what I hear.
That was the one quietest sound I could hear.
It's the only sound that I could hear right now.
Now I want you to just check in.
Place your hands on your heart center.
Keep your eyes closed as long as you're comfortable.
And then ask yourself, "What do I know right now?"
What do I know for sure?
What do I need?
So you're connecting with yourself.
Don't look for a story or sentence.
Just notice the first physical sensation that comes up.
Was it a tightening or an expansion?
A release, a warmth, a pull.
Was it a word?
Then I want you to respond by honoring what you need in that moment.
Is it a glass of water?
Do you need to rest for a moment?
Maybe you need to stay in this quietness for a little longer.
Maybe you need to say no to the next request that you got.
You're tired, you're worn out.
Whatever comes up is right for you.
And it's the first thing that pops in.
It's not when you start to tell yourself a story.
If you hear a voice in your head that's like,
that's not it. It was the first thing that popped up, yes or no or I'm tired or I'm sad or I'm angry.
Whatever it was, listen to that voice.
Now finish just with a few minutes of deep breathing like we did at the beginning.
Just to create a little more space and see what comes up into your head.
Pay attention to the things that pop into your head.
And when you're finished, I want you to write down in your journal your experience.
Maybe something strange happened.
I wouldn't write anything off.
I would just write down your exact experience.
This is what I do when I meditate in the morning.
I meditate for just 15 minutes.
I sit in quiet and then whatever pops into my head, I write it down.
Sometimes I get some really cool ideas like that.
And the idea I got for my retreat that I'll be either I'm doing it this fall or next fall,
I'm doing a step into your purpose by using art and creativity as a retreat for women.
And I got this idea when I was doing a meditation.
And so that's the kind of things that come in.
And you could use this kind of this grounding, you know, this reset, so to speak,
to ask yourself questions.
So instead of just checking in with yourself, you could say, maybe you have a tough decision
to make and you could say, I have these three choices and say each one out loud and just
see how your body responds to it.
There's so many different ways you could use this.
But the key is, do this as often as you can.
So I try to do this three times a day.
I set it on my phone.
And I've talked about this before and another podcast, but I just write energy and I put it
in as a reminder.
And if I'm busy, I don't do it.
If I'm free, I do it.
I don't make a big deal out of it.
And this is just a reminder for me to check in with myself.
This works because it actively shifts your nervous system out of that panic mode, you know?
And it creates a gap between all the stimulus that comes in, all the stress, all the
sheds and your reaction, okay?
So instead of just constantly reacting, the plastic bag and the wind kind of thing, you
have like this space for something to come in.
In that gap, a subtle signal of your intuition can finally be heard over that noise and anxiety.
You're creating the space for the voice for that knowing to come in.
And over time, this practice will become so natural for you, almost automatic.
And this is when you feel tuned in.
It never feels perfect for me.
I don't know if it ever will.
I know some people are very tuned in to their intuition.
But I can tell in my body when I need to be more intentional about protecting my energy,
I can feel it.
I spent, as I said, probably a decade making decisions from a place of survival and pure
reaction.
I didn't pause to connect with my body or take the time I needed.
I didn't take care of myself.
And here's something every person needs to hear.
You're allowed to take time and space to decide how to respond.
You don't have to respond to every inquiry, every question immediately, okay?
Even if you're in the middle of an argument, you can take that space.
You're making the rules of your life.
Never ever respond from a reactive state until you've done like a grounding practice.
So if you need five minutes, say I need five minutes.
And I did this for so long, not listening to my body, not resting.
I did this for so long that I had a stroke at the age of 39, just from the dis-regulation
of my body.
So if you don't take the time to care for yourself, your body will create this space
in this time for you.
In my case, it was a whole year.
So I learned this the hard way.
The pivot came when I started using this grounding technique, not to get an answer, but simply
to find that space, create that space and find that like calm feeling.
And in the quiet that followed, the answer was never loud.
It's never a ranting voice.
True intuition is quiet, short and solid.
It's kind of like a whisper.
If what you hear is like a continuous, loud, run-on sentence in your mouth, like a run-on
sentence of like worry, that's not your intuition talking.
For me, it became deep, a deep like sense in my body, a yes, a feeling of expansion, and
it was always in my gut, right?
And it wasn't fear.
It was just, it felt open and it felt good and it felt very concise and I knew I could trust
it.
It was like a knowing.
The logic to support the decision always came after the knowing, okay?
Paying attention to how your body communicates with you.
This is so important because a yes might be different for you.
You might feel it in your chest or your heart or it depends on the person.
You might feel it tightnessed in your chest when it's a no.
Everybody is different.
So you have to, this is practice, like I said at the beginning, it's something you have
to do.
It's a process of forming a relationship with yourself.
It helps you build trust, confidence and empowerment.
And if you ask me, it's 100% worth it to spend the time doing it because once you connect
with yourself, once you form this very trusting relationship with yourself, it expands all
your relationships in your life.
So the moral or whatever you want to call it is the intuition, the intuition is always
there.
It's always there for you.
The chaos wasn't a lack of answers.
All those things going on in your life isn't a lack of answers.
It was a dysregulated nervous system trying to solve a problem from a place of fear.
This practice is more than just self-care.
It's kind of like a reclamation.
It's the power of discernment over compliance.
So clear intuition helps you discern your true yes and no.
You're learning how it feels in your body.
It breaks the cycles of overgiving and burnout that the patriarchal system modeled for us.
And it's leading yourself from wholeness.
Decisions made from a regulated, intuitive place, consider all the things.
They consider community, sustainability, long-term well-being.
These are, excuse me, I'm losing my voice.
These are the hallmarks of matriarchal values, values that nurture life, support life, values
we need desperately right now.
And when we trust in our inner wisdom, we stop asking for permission.
Okay?
We're sure we have this sureness in our voice, in our steps that we take, the way we lead
ourselves.
We build the businesses we want to build.
We build the relationships, the communities that honor our, the cycles of nature, our empathy,
our collaborative power when we do this together.
We don't just enter old systems, okay?
We are creating new ones, okay?
So where do we go from here?
So one of the things I want to talk about and share, I'm going to be sharing about this
over the next couple of months probably.
While doing this is very powerful and it creates a stain change, what we need to change
or rewire a lifetime of conditioning often happens when we're in community with guidance
and support of women on the same path.
So I'll be sharing soon a way for all women to create a support system for themselves
of like-minded women who want to live from an aligned, confident, supportive, feminine place
within their own unique purpose.
So stay tuned for that.
This isn't something I'm trying to sell you.
This is something that I'm gifting to you.
It's going to be an outline of how you could start to form these communities for yourself.
And if you're ready to step into being like a self-led woman who uses her intuition with
ease right now and you want to use your intuition to step into your purpose and alignment in your
life and you want any personalized guidance, you could just reach out to me and explore some
mentorship options of that's something that you need help with.
But this community outline that I'll be sharing with you will be something like I said for
a way for all women to create a support system of like-minded women who want to live the
same way you want to live.
So your messy intuition is not a flaw.
It's a powerful ancient system asking for a moment of calm, silence and presence.
All you have to do, you have to give it the time of day.
So give it, give it that.
Breathe and listen and watch how clearly it begins to guide you and talk to you.
So I will leave you with that and if you have any questions just reach out to me.
You could find me, all the links to be able to find me will be in the show notes and I'll
be sharing that outline shortly.
I have to do some editing to kind of shorten it and make it easier to understand for everybody.
I want it to be something that's easy to follow.
So keep your eyes out, follow the podcast, subscribe, share with other women that you know
would want to do this.
That would be great.
But I'm going to leave you with a question.
Where in your life right now do you most wish you had a clear and like clear intuitive guidance?
Where do you need that?
So I would love for you to share that with me.
You could go over to Instagram or Patreon and follow me over there.
Those links will be in the show notes where you could communicate with me or just journal
on that question and see what comes up and then do the reset that I taught you in this podcast
episode and see what kind of answers come up for you.
And journal journal journal journal your answers.
You will not remember them.
You think you're going to remember them.
But you won't.
This is a mistake I make quite often.
Okay guys, until next week, I love you.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
