Welcome to the Soul Aligned selfcare podcast.
How are you doing today?
I am doing so good today, Tina.
How are you?
I'm doing good too.
I'm really, I'm so into fall right now.
I know you're, you're down south and it's probably warm still, probably pretty warm, but
here it's like full blast, fall slash Halloween and I'm so, I'm very much here for it.
It was very hot this year.
So, before we get into some of the, all the things I want to talk with you about today,
can you give like a little background to, you know, how you got started and doing what
you do, the work that you do?
You know, to not shell it because we can talk forever right about our past and we like
to stay focused on the future.
Yes.
It's raised by women that struggled with mental health issues and my mom struggled with
addiction issues.
That was drugs and alcohol.
Because life moved on, that pattern obviously moved me into abusive relationships as well.
And then after some time had gone by, my dad and my little sister committed suicide back
to back.
Oh my God.
Yeah, you can kind of, you know, you can fill in the gaps.
We've all kind of experienced some stories of trauma in our lives.
So you can fill in the gaps.
So, with an entire life of that, my dad and my little sister committed suicide 35, that's
when I really started paying attention and was like, okay, like how do I, you know,
why not end up like them?
How do I break the chain?
And I really got passionate about specifically studying the momentum of the mind and negative
thought patterns because, you know, suicide happens when you get trapped in these rabbit
holes, right?
So that's where it began.
And then as I started studying and understanding, it just built on itself.
That's when it moved into studying energy and it moved into studying the nervous system.
And you know, it just became a journey that I became so passionate, also empowered by
really.
And then, you know, the world we're living in, you have to have systems in place and
because you have to.
Yeah.
And you inherit, so unfortunately, you inherit some of these, you know, mental health issues.
So I was like seeing that it was starting to happen to me and I just wanted to be able
to really get a grip on it and grab it by the neck and be like, no, we're going this
way.
No.
So, that's how it kind of unfolded.
Okay.
Yeah.
I get that year and you're right.
We all have like some kind of a story.
So I could just say, like, yeah, some of those things I experienced also and
and, you know, same with the nervous system.
So let's get into that.
Let's talk about like nervous system regulation and talk about some of the things that you
do to, you know, as you said in the world today, we have to be more intentional about our
nervous system regulation or down the line.
Somehow it's going to affect you in a negative way.
So what do you do to help your nervous system stay nice and regulated?
So I like to keep everything as beginner level as possible so that it's a team of all.
So I only focus on the fundamentals.
It's truly enough.
It has changed my life.
And that's really just, you know, we have to focus on what we're feeling, right?
So I, what I tell people to do number one, I know that I don't know if you're going to
show this, but there's something I tell people to do every day.
And it's to take a swifter or a broom.
There's a reason why I do this.
Put it behind your back like this.
Okay.
Wrap your elbows around it.
Why I want people to do this is because it forces your chest open.
And this is really what it, this is what your body should feel like daily, open, receptive,
rooted in trust like your heart chakra open.
Why that's important is because when you pull it away, you'll feel yourself collapse.
And number one is understanding when you're open and when you're collapsing because throughout
the day, you'll have a conversation.
I'll think of thought, you will feel your bodies start to collapse and tighten and grip.
So it's really number one is tuning into what you're feeling in the moment because if you
can train yourself, what it feels like to feel open, you'll feel like when you're collapsing.
You know, we're so used to collapsing, that's normal to us.
That's our baseline.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some people stay there all the time.
Some people don't know.
Yeah.
Shoulders up, gripped, tight, anxious, depressed like that, that, you know, yeah.
Well, number one, I like to just teach people spend five minutes walking around your house
with a broom with your own.
I like that.
It's really simple, it's really attainable.
Okay.
So once again, then and then also because when once you feel that, you'll be able to fill the
grip.
The reason why I want you to be able to know the difference is because all day long, the
minute you feel that grip, I do this, I do this so many times every day, the minute I
feel the grip, I take, oh, I will pause.
I will stop what I am doing.
You guys, because we have to train our systems for possibility, not protection.
If we don't catch that tightening as it's starting to grip, we'll constantly be training
protection.
We have to be training our systems to stay open, training our systems, telling our bodies
we are safe.
So every time I feel the grip, I will stop.
I will tap into my body.
I will take that breath.
If I have to tap my chest center and just tell myself, I am safe.
It's okay.
If that doesn't work, I'll do a slight nervous system sway.
It's like pretending you have a baby, you guys.
You're retraining your nervous system that you are safe.
I'm telling you, if you do that every single time you feel the grip, the anxious, the spiral,
the, it's a game changer.
It has worked.
Yeah, that's formed my life and it's so simple.
Absolutely.
I do an exercise every morning to just like check in with my body and I think you're right
when you say that, like you really need to learn how to check in with your body and see
what you're feeling because when you do it, even like, even myself as somebody who's constantly
doing nervous system regulation stuff, I just, I notice things, like, I'll notice like
my God, my jaw is really tight.
Like, maybe I was grinding my teeth last night, like, what was going on there, you know?
And then I'm like, okay, well, what can I do to make that better?
Like, how can you like, check in with yourself?
So I want to ask you, talk to you a little bit about how to like, rewire through sensation.
Is that what you're talking about right now?
Because that was one of the talking points I wanted to go over you with like to create,
this is about, you know, living your life like in flow and creating the results that you
want in your life.
So how do you rewire through sensation?
Well, well, first of all, number one, that's number one.
Like, the connection that we seek has to start with the connection with ourselves.
Like, if we don't know how we're feeling, how could we know how we're feeling in relationships?
How could we feel?
You know what I mean?
So number one is like, you say, use your body.
We're using our bodies like, how do I feel right now?
So unless our system is open, we can't really, that's why nothing sticks and nothing stays.
That's what I say.
Self development and any type of transformation you want, whether that's in your intimate relationships,
success goals, body goals, the reason why nothing sticks and nothing stays is because our
systems are locked up.
You can't really plant the seed of change if your system is closed.
That's why so much of my training will do a nervous system reset before we have the
rhythmic thought pattern training.
You know, because if your system is closed, it's not, it's not planting the seed needed
for change, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so much of what I do, like I say, so we focused on the nervous system reset.
Okay.
And when we move into the rhythmic thought patterns, I use movement, was that as well?
Talk a little bit about that, the rhythm.
Yeah, that's so close.
It's so interesting.
I like to say that nothing is real until it's felt, right?
So how do we feel something to be real?
So I do this through music, movement and breath.
Okay.
So what you're doing is you are embodying a feeling.
So if we're on confidence, we will stand up, we'll stick, we'll take a step forward because
when you step forward, you're telling your body and your nervous system, this is who
I am now.
So there's lots of movement that goes into my trainings based on what we're training.
This is why I say you have to know, you have to know yourself.
You have to know what your negative self talk is.
You have to know what that habitual shitty thought is, the kicks in every time you want something.
Because you train in the opposite direction.
You can't just throw spaghetti at the wall and expect to become a better person.
Like what's your thing?
You have no secrets from yourself.
Yeah.
But, but I, you know, the, like, as you said, the first step is that regulation because when
you're not in that state, you can't, when you're not in a state of safety, and you're
not paying attention, you're not tuned in, you're writing the hamster wheel as I call it, you
know, you're not going to notice those negative, that negative self talk, you know, it's going
to be something that pops into your head that you think all the time that you say to yourself
all the time, like, oh my god, I can't believe I did that.
I'm so stupid, you know, like something like that.
And you don't even notice it until you're, you know, centered and present with yourself
and you're paying attention in your, you have that awareness.
And I know that the rival setting, that is a survival setting, you want to know why?
Because when we're trying to survive in the wild, what do we do?
Stay small, stay quiet, stay safe.
Yeah.
Expansion being big, like moving into like, wow, that, like that, that ultimate version of
myself means exposure, which, which means losing people, you know what I mean?
So it's also, that triggers danger.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's so much.
That's a very big trigger for a lot of people, the, the judgment portion.
I love what you said about like taking that step forward.
And as, as soon as you said that, I thought it's like, it's like your, I mean, and your body
does have its own language, so, but, but it's like people aren't using that body language
intentionally.
I don't think they are.
So, so tell me some of the things that you, maybe just give me a few examples of that, that,
that, what do you call it, rhythmic?
What do you call it, rhythmic?
Well, rhythmic thought pattern training is what I'm doing.
I don't, rhythmic coded.
You know, there's a thousand things we can, I've reframed it so many different ways, just
because I'm trying to get people to understand.
And I say it to people and if they look confused, I'm like, okay, I've got to reword it, got
to reword it.
Okay.
That's kind of why it changes so much.
But for me, it's rhythmic thought patterns.
Okay.
So tell me, so good.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, give me a few examples of that, like that, so I can understand it.
So, if someone is fear based and everything they do, we want to train that thought pattern
in the other direction.
So the rhythmic pattern that I put over music would be faith is the only armor.
I need faith is the only armor I need.
And then that would probably be synced with a sway, a somatic movement faith is the only
armor I need.
If it's something where people just feel insecure and they feel just like they're always getting
kicked around, you know, it would be like every know I meet, teaches my body how to walk,
like someone who deserves more.
So they would say that sitting down, okay, every know I meet, teaches my body how to walk,
like someone who deserves more.
Stand up, step forward.
I'm the one they crossed oceans for.
Like I'm the one they crossed oceans for.
And that's just such a, what you'll learn with my audio is there's a lot of things
like the rhythmic riddles because what I'm doing is we have to bypass the minds defenses.
That's why it's like I'm the one they crossed oceans for.
Like there's not really a debate that can flare up.
Yeah.
Because it's so like what does that mean?
It can mean anything.
It can mean your investors are crossing oceans.
The guy that you're in love with is crossing the, you know what I mean?
I mean, vague enough, but powerful at the same time.
So my audio is very scientific because you have to bypass the minds defenses.
The thing that calls bullshit.
The one that says that's not possible for you sit back down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quiet.
No, you know what it means though, they might seem like rhythmic riddles, but they're very
scientific and I spend a lot of time on them.
Wow, that's cool.
I'm so, I, it's really cool.
Yeah, I definitely have to try some of those out.
I absolutely have to.
Well, we'll, we'll talk more about that.
Yeah.
So you, you get the person safe in their body and then you do this, this, this, these
rhythmic locked and loaded thought patterns.
I call it ready, aim fire locked and loaded thought pattern.
I like that.
That's very, yeah.
So tell me what, what would you do next day after that?
Like when you're working with somebody, so you're working with an entrepreneur like, that's,
you know, in a business setting because I know you probably work with a lot of people
like that.
I do.
The thing is I focus a lot of time.
So the bulk of the session go in to creating a movement for them.
I don't want people to just agree with me.
I eat to be like, no, do you feel this?
Does this feel right?
It's not, we'll do something else.
If not, we'll do something else.
It's customized because you, you want to get your body to believe, you know, the whole thing
is how do you feel this to be true?
Yeah.
A lot of the work, we do the nervous system reset, but then we spend time on essentially
choreographing a movement.
That's so cool.
I love that.
But then these are micro resets because the thing is in the world we're living in, the
attention span we're dealing with, the reason why these are two minute sessions, because
you have to continuously be circling your mind back to the life that you desire.
Know what you're working on.
The minute that thing, ready and fire, because you have rehearsed it, you know it, your
body, the thing is also, when you do micro resets a couple times a day, your body starts to
get familiar with this and it's no longer foreign and a signal of safety, a rhythmic pattern,
signal safety, because your body, your mind, knows what's coming next.
It's almost like someone moves in next door, they're this weirdo next door, but you say
high enough times, you become friends.
Yeah, you're safe to invite them in for coffee, you know what I mean?
It really is like that.
You're familiarizing your system, your mind, your thoughts with this new thing.
And then your body moves into that, but yeah, it's time because it becomes familiar.
Yeah, and then it becomes familiar and because it's a rhythmic session, because it's over
music, because you're moving, actually something that feels good too.
So you're training your body that love feels good, money feels good.
Yeah, good.
So is this something, when you're working with someone, say you work with a person and
you learn more about them and you create, you create this for them, is this something
that they do forever?
Like because I know like a lot of things, you know, as far as, as far as I'm concerned when
I work with people, one of the things I struggle with the most when I'm working with my clients
is trying to get them to understand that a lot of these things are lifestyle changes.
And that it's something, yeah, you have to do it forever, but it's something that gets
easier and it's something, and then it turns into something that's just automatic and natural
in your system, you know, like, like, breath work for me.
So like when I first started, it felt weird and uncomfortable and it didn't always help,
but now it's automatic for me.
Like as soon as I feel my body go into that state, I take a deep breath because I know immediately
that's going to help me slow down, but it's not like a conscious decision I make, it just
happens.
So would you say that this is kind of the same thing?
Yeah, I say all the time you are who you train to be.
We're just all training in the wrong direction.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Literally.
So I actually, like, I want to push my people out of the nest.
I'm not looking to do one-on-ones.
I'll do one-on-one a couple times and then you take your, you know, you take the session
with you.
If you put on your own, if you feel like you need me fine, but like I really want to empower
people that you are the healers.
Yeah.
Everything you need is within you.
You have your rhythm.
You have breath like create your own rhythmic pattern, you know?
But I'm happy to work with people, but yeah, 1,000 percent it's a lifestyle.
Every single decision, you're training a state of being.
You're training the lazy version of you or the version of you that gets shit done.
You're training the person that gives up on themselves or you're training the person
that moves toward the life that they desire with confidence and certainty.
Yeah.
Every single decision is training.
Who are you today?
Who are you right now in this moment?
So is it also something that people should master is there not that they have to have toxic
positivity or anything like that, but-
No, at all.
I don't think we worry about that.
The world is so negative.
I don't think we can overdo it.
Yeah, it'll put that far, wrap-quit.
I think there's a way to overdo it.
I think it's not even toxic positivity.
It's training possibility.
Yeah, but is it all-
Is there like a- like a- like a- like a alignment or like an energy alignment that they
need to step into?
So like say someone has a fear of being judged, right?
So they're going to- they're going to do something.
They want to step out and do something different and they have that fear of judgment or
fear of losing you mentioned.
Like, and they have this- this- this rhythmic, you know, thing that they're doing that you
taught them how to do.
But what if they don't completely believe in it?
Do they have to- is there a way to like get into like the energy of it?
Like, do you teach them how to do that?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
I'm not sure if-
Yeah, that's the thing.
Like I kind of have audios for everything.
Like I always say like, listen to this before you're going to make that business call.
Listen to this before you're going to go on a date.
Like you do-
to calibrate yourself.
You do need to shift your state right before you make
that decision right before you go on that date, you know,
do plan so that you walk into the room
is a different version of yourself.
Even if it falls apart right after,
like you really have to train the state of being eventually,
you do become that person you guys.
It's like creating an alter ego.
Eventually I promise you, you really do.
All of a sudden, the shitty way you thought about yourself,
like the thoughts gone missing,
almost to the point where you're like,
where did it go?
Like rhythmic patterns are really that powerful.
It does shift your energy.
It does shift your state.
Do you use very similar movements
for similar types of energies
that you want to bring into someone's life?
Yeah, like I've got to find out to complicate.
There's a lot of walking forward.
There's a lot of open arms.
So the one way is to get as big as possible
start taking up space.
Like this is, I'm here.
I am here.
You know, a lot of chest tapping,
I try not to complicate it because really,
we're just like tapping into the body.
We're just connecting with ourself.
We're so used to abandoning ourselves to please others,
abandoning ourselves to stay in relationships.
It's really a form of just reconnecting with ourself,
like this body.
You want everything moving in the same direction,
the way we think, the way we feel,
what we say and what we do,
because that's when everything starts to move
and you really start gaining momentum in your life.
So you get on the same level, think, feel, say,
the wheel of the mind, the way you think,
determines what you feel, determines what you do.
So getting into that energy, using the recordings,
and then, so you have a recording for everything, I love that.
You literally, I'm making them all day long.
I made them for myself.
Like literally, yeah, but it's so great.
That's why it's like it's,
I'm in a relationship now, and I'm like,
shit, how am I gonna get inspiration?
'Cause when I was dating and just getting my ass handed to me,
I created an audio for every single one
because the minute you feel that I would allow the contrast
to give me clarity on exactly what I wanted
and I would create an audio.
And it's like I kind of needed, you know,
to, I love that I'm in Miami,
'cause it's like so much happening all the time
that for me, it's great.
- Yeah, I'm creating audio.
- I feel like something else will come up.
You'll move into something else.
It's all about like teaching what you're learning, right?
Like you're-- - Yeah, so,
you know what the funny thing is,
is once you get into relationship,
it's a different ball game.
It's like, okay, how do I maintain the momentum of this?
How do I continue to communicate with clarity,
to feel vulnerable to, you know, it's different.
It's a different playing versus being single dealing
with dating.
And then with success, it's like,
the minute you get an investor to invest in you,
then you have a different fear, like, oh shit.
How do I rise up and make sure, like, you know what I mean?
- Yeah, it's complex.
- Yeah, exactly.
So that's, so it's like every time you reach like a different level,
there's always something that's gonna come in
to like challenge you.
What do they say?
- New levels, new levels or something.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, it's true.
That's, I try to tell people that all the time,
I'm like, that's why you have to have a practice.
That's why you have to like, always be working on this kind of stuff
because it's gonna keep coming up.
You can't like solve one problem and expect it,
like another problem to like, never coming to your life.
So you have to always be kind of building your resilience up.
- All right.
- So tell me, tell me, this is called a soul sync session, right?
This is what we're talking about right now.
So like, talking to the listeners that are listening today,
that maybe someone, like for me, when somebody talks about energy,
I'm like 100% in.
So maybe talking to the people who think that maybe this sounds
like a little woo-woo or something like that.
So how could someone like that get started
and start to step into something like this
in order to help them regulate their nervous system
and then just step into their, for lack of better words,
like their higher self or the best version of their self,
so whatever you wanna call it.
- Well, real fast, anyone that thinks it's woo-woo,
it's neuroplasticity, whatever we feed our mind.
It's the life that we experience, you know?
So like, we really are, we have to be training
in the other direction.
Let me just say something about energy really quick
'cause I've been studying this lately
and it's very fascinating that not all energy is the same.
It's interesting.
So anger versus depression versus the love money spiral
that happens in our mind.
Those are completely different energies
and many people, I think struggle with, you know,
the stress of love and the stress of money.
Do you agree with that with your clients?
- Oh yeah, absolutely.
Like love, money, I'm trying to think of some of the other thing,
health, I guess, would be another top one.
- So when it, let me just say that when it comes to love money,
those are distorted imprints.
Those are not based on truth.
It's an energy that feels real,
but it's a distorted imprint and David Bayer,
I don't know if you know who he is,
but he talks about it a lot.
A distorted imprint means that it's a belief
that you learned in your childhood.
- Okay.
- Meaning that you can just overwrite it
with the opposite thought.
So that's why, you know, I really focus on love money a lot.
They're distorted imprints, meaning like finish this sentence.
When I was growing up, love was what?
When I was growing up, money was what?
Anyone listening, fill in what it was for you.
Money was what scares?
Money was, for me, it was scary
because my parents were always fighting
about this thing called money.
The reason why that's important,
because this is the imprint that our nervous system
locks in on, which is why?
If money is scary, if money is scarce,
if money doesn't feel good
because in your household growing up,
it was this scary thing that your parents were fighting about.
They didn't have, they were crying,
they were screaming, whatever the situation was,
I know that's my experience was,
our nervous system will focus in on that.
So we have to repattern our nervous system
that no money feels good.
Money is safe because if we don't spend
the time doing that with a nervous system reset,
with a locked and loaded thought pattern,
it will consistently push money away.
It will push love away because it remembers
that money doesn't feel good.
It hurts, it's scary.
Yeah.
If you don't identify these imprints
that were imprinted in our childhood,
we will continue living from the wound,
loving from the wound.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Let's talk about that, identifying these things
because a lot of times people, they're like,
I don't know what could possibly be.
So how do they go about identifying those things?
Well, listening to podcasts like this,
you know what I mean?
You really have to start getting, no, it's true though.
You have to be like, okay, fill in the sentence
when growing up, when I was growing up, money was what?
The minute you connect that dot, like, oh yeah,
then you could be like, wow, okay,
that's why money stresses me out.
It never feels good.
Yeah.
And you know, it's interesting that I studied as well
when it comes to the nervous system imprint about money
is that people, when they get money,
they'll spend it really fast.
They're not spending it to celebrate.
The nervous system is releasing it.
It's like, get out of here, get out of here.
Get out of here.
That would love the minute you start to feel love
and you start to, you sabotage it, get out of here
because that's why you have to retrain your nervous system.
Like the minute you start feeling that grip,
the minute you log into your bank account,
I have a thing that I do when I log into my bank account
because everyone starts to fill that grip.
They don't want to see, they don't want to know much money.
They have, oh, when they write a check to pay that bill,
those are the powerful moments to get into your body
and do a nervous system reset
that you're, no matter what you see,
when you open your bank account, you're safe.
You know, those are the really prime times
to train your nervous system until you fill the soothe
until you fill your system release.
Don't look at your bank account.
Don't write that check to pay that bill.
- Yeah, do it in a good state.
- You have to retrain, yeah, it is suved as possible
'cause that's information.
- Yeah, that is a very big deal for a lot of people
and I never realized how much of a big deal that was
until I started doing coaching
and there is a lot of people who do not want to log in
to their bank account, like a lot of people.
- I didn't do it for the longest time.
You know what else I did that was game changer,
which is so cool and easy.
I went on to you to me and I started taking
little 45 minute classes that taught me about money,
that taught me how to invest,
that taught me about investing in gold,
just weird things because then you get excited about it
and you start, when you start making friends with money,
like it sounds crazy, it just transforms
the way you feel about money.
Take any class on investing just how to write off certain things
with your taxes, like having a meeting at your house.
It gets you curious and it gets you interested
and it literally like kind of puts the swords down.
That was really powerful for me.
- How is this type of work related to manifestation?
Like tell me how you, when you work with somebody
and they wanna bring something into their life
and they wanna manifest something,
how does this relate to your work?
- All manifestation, no matter what coach you listen to,
it's like you have to feel it before you have it.
- Yeah, we've heard that a thousand times.
- How?
- Yeah.
- How do I feel it?
- That's why I hit it from every angle.
I use music, I use rhythm.
I will also have people, I do funny things.
It depends if they're doing money or love.
If we're doing love, I will have them start dating themselves.
Like go out, sit by yourself, go to the place
that you would wanna go with that plus one.
See what it feels like to sit there, set an extra table.
When you cook, I do this for myself.
I light a candle, I put music on.
I pretend like my plus one is there
'cause you have to start embodying,
get ready for him or her.
- What would you do for them?
'Cause a lot of times we don't attract the love
because you're not ready.
- Yeah.
- You're gonna ruin it anyway.
Do you know how to be vulnerable?
Do you know how to communicate?
Do you know how to cook one or two meals?
So many women can't even cook if you feel the cook one meal
and make it romantic.
And what are you gonna wear?
Like the things you're gonna do.
When it comes to money, it's funny
'cause I go on Amazon and I order stacks of hundreds
that are this big and I put them in every single purse.
- Yeah, you're not reaching that.
- No, it's great 'cause then you get used to seeing the money.
And sometimes I'll just listen to one of my audios
and I'll flip through the money,
I'll flip through the money just over and over again,
just staring at it, have money sitting everywhere.
Like I do really, I like to play with my environment.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
- That's, yeah.
- I love that.
That's so funny.
I feel, I wanna do that now.
- No, the funny thing is, is recently I ended up,
you just someone paid me with a stack of cash in an envelope.
I was like, it was funny 'cause I had my fake stack of cash.
Next to it and I was like, oh my God, I didn't even realize.
I was like, oh my God.
The whole thing is you really have to stay in a state of play
because we're so uptight and fear.
Like you have to find a way to like get back
in a state of play when it comes to love and money.
And I know it's easier said than done,
but there are little things like that that we can do.
And your system will start to feel differently about love,
feel differently about money.
And that's when you embody the feeling
that everyone talks about.
You have to feel it before it comes.
- You just said something really important though.
It doesn't happen instantaneously
and I think that people need to like really hear that
because it's gonna take some time.
And from my experience, like what, you know,
when it happens, when all of a sudden you're like,
oh, wait a minute.
Like, you know, you feel that change all of a sudden one day.
You're just like, oh, okay.
I made it. I did it, you know, but it does take time.
I would say that I was in, so when I was a kid,
money wasn't negative when I was growing up.
It was like nothing really.
Like I didn't know anything about, like nobody talked about it.
Like, so it was nothing negative.
But when I was in a marriage, it was very negative.
And I would say that he used money to like,
and in a very abusive way, controlling way.
And so that's probably where some of my things come from.
And sometimes the behaviors, I still see it come up.
Sometimes now I've been divorced forever.
Like, but every once in a while, I'll get like a little trigger
and I'm like, oh, like, you know, it's like, oh,
that was strange. That hasn't popped up in a while.
So I would even go as far to say that even after it becomes
like second nature to you and you're, you feel like you've gone
past it and your energy in that situation has changed.
It's still, I feel like it still will pop up.
Does that happen to you also?
Yeah, you know, the bigger the emotional charge,
the stronger the imprint.
So intimate relationships are very powerful for training us,
for conditioning us as women, you know what I mean?
Or as men, whatever.
But oftentimes as women, you know, a lot of the, my girlfriend,
it's funny because she was raised wealthy Greek,
but she married young and her husband was very controlling,
very abusive and she has this wound now,
which took me a long time to figure out.
I'm like, you were raised so well, it wasn't like you say.
It was the marriage because the men are training you,
you know, through whatever they need to do to make sure
you don't overspend and you know how much this cost
and how much is that and we can't afford that.
And why do you know? So it's like Jesus.
Yeah, yeah, that was, that was like,
and I was in that situation for a long time.
And I, you know, I had three kids and I was,
I wasn't working, I was staying home with my kids
and I feel very lucky that I was able to do that,
but then also put me in that situation.
Where I had absolutely no control.
And I, and just like most women who end up in that situation,
they never really think that that's gonna happen to them.
Like never, you know?
And then once you're there, you're like, how did I get here?
You know?
And so I would, I would say that it took me a long time
of being very intentional to get past that.
And as I said, it's still, everyone's in a while,
I get like a trigger. I'm like,
"What? Where did that shit come from?"
You know, like get out of here.
If you think back, though, listen, like,
this is what's interesting to understand how long it takes
to like you say be intentional about the change.
Think about, I mean, I don't know how,
if you can zoom out, think about the first time
in your relationship where maybe you got
reprimanded about money.
At first, you're probably defiant and you're like,
"Oh, whatever, okay."
You're defiant, defiant, defiant.
And then you agree, just to not be arguing.
And then you agree, just to not be arguing.
The path is slow, the scene is slow.
And then you actually do anchor on their belief that,
"Oh, wow, we should be careful with spending."
You anchor on their fear.
If you think of the path, it was, it didn't happen overnight.
I mean, the seed was planted and eventually maybe
towards the end of your marriage, maybe you did believe
all the fear he embedded in you about money.
I don't know what the situation is, but.
Over time, we agree and then we take on their belief.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's a very good point
because it takes you a while to get there.
So it's going to take a while to get there.
'Cause at first you're probably defiant.
At first you are defiant, you do have your own family.
So think about that.
You have to reverse engineer it.
So that's why you have to be patient.
And how long it took to take on the belief?
Do the belief.
Yeah, absolutely, excellent point.
So you have to be patient and you have to be consistent.
And I, yeah, I'm definitely would love to learn more
about these sessions.
I find it very, every time I interview someone on my podcast,
there's so many amazing women in this world.
And I'd like to like add you to that pile, so to speak.
And I always learn something, like just the one thing
you talked about, like when we first started
at the beginning with the broom,
I was like, that is such a good way to teach you how to be open
because like you could think it and you could imagine it,
but that actually puts your body in that position
and that posture and you're actually just training
because you maybe have been like this so long.
Yeah, until you feel it, it's not real.
Yeah, yeah.
And I really think that just that one thing alone is a diamond
for people to be able to get started,
to be able to learn how to open themselves up
and learn how that feels and then pay attention
to when you feel that way in your life
and when you don't feel that way.
That alone is just one step that they could take.
And your body feels it, fat.
Your body remembers fat.
Like I'm saying, do it two days for a minute.
You'll already feel it.
Like it's crazy, but I'll be carrying my dog
and I feel my shoulder has a trim for it.
And you just will come, you'll be like, God,
when you roll back, you also, the beauty is,
when you go to roll your shoulders back,
you also take that chest of big breath.
So yeah.
And then when you're in that position for a really long time,
I'm speaking from experience too,
because when I was in that abusive marriage for so long,
and it was verbally abusive,
it was financially abusive, but never physically abusive,
which sometimes can be really confusing,
because nobody's beating you, you know?
But you're actually in a really bad situation.
But I was in that situation for so long
that that became my posture.
My posture was always like that.
And then I think it was,
it was way before I got divorced,
but I went to a personal trainer
and he was like, he pointed it out.
I never even noticed it before and he pointed it out.
And that was like the first time I was like,
"Huh, I was never like that when I was younger."
And I was like, and then it all comes together
at some point when you realize
that that has a lot to do with my energy
and the way I was feeling and what I was experiencing
and I was protecting myself, you know, that in that way,
so I just find it very interesting how it's all connected.
I find it absolutely amazing.
- Yeah, and energy will always find a way to manifest.
Like that's what I do a lot of meridian point massage work too.
I don't really want to get into that
'cause it's a different rabbit hole, but energy will,
when I track what people in my family died of,
when I say energy will find a way to manifest,
where their cancers manifested is like my mom was,
you know, sexually abused a lot when she was younger
and she ended up with pancreatic cancer.
So it's interesting, she never healed.
Like we had a tumultuous relationship when she died.
It's, we had just never fixed it.
But it's interesting how that's where her cancer manifested,
like where that wound was that she never, you know.
- Yeah, that's fine.
- You know, so it's, if you got to be really careful
with where you're suppressing your energy.
- Yeah, I mean, that's, I mean, have you read the book,
"The Body Keeps the Score?"
- I have, man.
- Yeah, you're done?
Is that what it talks about?
- It talks about where we hold the energy in our body
and it's very, it's a great book.
It's like a must read.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- Yeah, I think you would really like it.
- Every morning when I wake up,
I do a meridian point reset.
I do the bottom of my foot for fear.
I do the, I'm sorry, yeah, fear the top of my foot for anger
and I do my ankle for overthinking.
It's just a little, yeah, a little reboot
to my whole energetic system.
- Yeah, I find energy work really interesting.
I remember when I was, I was, I did a energy healing class
and at the same time I was getting into yoga
and at the same time I was learning about Kegang
and one of the things, one of the benefits
of doing all three of those things at once
was that I realized that a lot of the movements
were very, very similar that from the yoga to the Kegang
and to that matched up with the energy healing,
the movements that she made in the class
and I was like, that is so cool
and it's cool that I was learning those at the same time.
So yeah, I think that, I don't know,
it's definitely a rabbit hole
that I could go down for like the rest of my life
reading about it, it's so interesting.
- Yeah.
- Tell me a little bit, I love to get the perspective
of the people that come on the show
because it's soul align self-care
and I thought a million times to change the name,
but I can't think of what to change it to
because a lot of people think of self-care as the mani-peddies
and the bubble bath and stuff like that
and it is a little bit of that, but it's deeper,
it's deeper, I call it like that's like surface level
self-care, but like that deep level self-care
is the stuff that you're talking about.
And so I wanna start asking the guests that come on the show,
what is your personal, I know we talked a little bit about this
but do you have like a personal favorite
that you self-care practice in your life
and it could be a surface level one
or it could be a deep level self-care
that you use every day that you wanna share with the audience?
- Honestly, I'm not trying, I'm literally not trying
to promote myself, but I do, I do,
I made this for me because I was suffering
and it was, I'm telling you, when I get out of bed,
the first step I take, I step right into a nervous system
and reset.
- Yeah.
- I make my coffee, when my coffee's sitting there,
I bend over, I do my meridian points.
- Yeah.
- And then I legit, when I'm doing my makeup,
put on a soul-sync session, like I just do.
But right now I'm trying to manifest a business success,
so that's just the one I put on,
'cause you have to be circling your mind.
I so, yeah, check my nervous system, clear my energy,
focus on my thought patterns.
- There you go.
- You know, I literally, I do my own system.
- That's, there's nothing wrong with that.
- You know, that's what we do.
- Yeah, I do the same thing.
I do my breath work, I do my meditations.
I do yoga and e-dra, and so yeah,
we have, everybody has something that works really well for them.
So tell me, tell the people how they can work with you,
where they can find you on the social medias,
if you're on there.
- I am.
- What's the best place that you hang out?
- You know what, obviously it's the easiest
to respond to people on Instagram.
My Instagram is Angela jean.chat.
That's all the YouTube channel.
My audios and all my sessions can be found at
soulsyncsessions.com.
- Okay, did my people give you a free,
I have two audios I always wanna give on my podcast people.
I wanna give you this walking meditation I made that is,
oh, so gorgeous.
- I would love that.
I love walking out of patients.
I don't like listening to my own voice.
I don't know if that sounds funny,
but I don't always like listening to my own meditations.
So I would love that.
I don't think they gave that to me.
So I would, I need to put that in the package.
And then also also a demo of a nervous system reset
with one of my locked and loaded thought patterns,
just so they can kind of see what it feels like.
- Yeah, that would be, that would be wonderful.
So everything will be in the show notes
so that everybody could connect with you.
- Yeah.
- I wanna thank you for coming on
and thank you for sharing your genius.
It's been really interesting and a lot of fun.
- Thank you.
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