What if the key to your happiness for film and purpose wasn't something you had to chase?
But something you simply had to remember.
In today's episode, we're exploring the heart of what it means to live a soul aligned
life, and why honoring your truth even when it breaks the rules is the most powerful thing
you could do.
I'm sharing my own journey from quiet childhood rebellion to boldly rejecting the expectations
of society that never has our best interests at heart.
We'll talk about how to reconnect with your natural rhythms, why a hell yes decision
matters, and how to start creating something beautiful in place of what isn't working
right now.
This episode is your permission slip to drop the hustle and start aligning with what feels
right and radically freeing.
Let's get into it.
You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout
that shook my world.
Now I'm laying it all out, the deep-level self-care practices and mindset shifts that
I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving.
Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and a soul's journey to
alignment.
This is where real conversations about deep-level self-care happen.
Let's get into it.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I am so happy you're here with me today.
Welcome to anybody new that's showing up, and I am so honored to be in the presence of
the people that show up week after week, hanging out with me, listening to me talk, listening
to me talk to other people, talking about that.
I have a very exciting guest coming on this Friday.
Her name is Barbara Burgess, and you're going to absolutely love her.
I'm not going to get into the topic, but it's really aligned with what I'm talking about
today.
My blog, Soul Aligned Life.
That's the title of the blog.
It used to be the Soul Aligned Self-Care VIP news or something like that.
Now I just call it the Soul Aligned Life, and I'm going to share with you today kind of
what that means to me and why it's so important to me.
Ever since I can remember from when I was a little girl, I'm talking about some of my
really first memories of being kindergarten.
There was this theme in my life that caused me stress or discomfort.
I don't know if you'd want to call it when you're five years old.
But the overall theme, starting as young as five that I can remember and just continuing
on for my whole entire life, was that I needed to experience freedom.
That's what was most important to me.
Anytime that was threatened, I would go so against whatever somebody was telling me.
Even if what they were telling me to do was right, I would go against it because I just
didn't want anyone to tell me what to do.
It would be very strong-minded.
There were a lot of things that never made sense to me in school that I started noticing
at that young age that you just weren't allowed to be free.
I always felt like someone was trying to control me right down to when we go to the bathroom,
how I need to write.
I'm writing with too much of a slant.
Some of the things I was criticized for when I was that young age were ridiculous when
you think about it today.
How often we get told to be quiet, be quiet, be quiet.
Then we're, you know, we get older.
It's like, speak up for yourself.
It's like so contradictive.
Yeah, we weren't really allowed to go to the bathroom when we needed.
We had to always ask and get permission to have a pass and then you would get in trouble
if you didn't have a pass.
I just remember all that bullshit.
Free to speak your mind.
Free to ask the questions that you wanted to ask instead of the questions that teacher wanted
to answer or the only ones that they would answer.
So like starting at this point in my life, I became kind of this little rebel.
I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it, but I did it very quietly.
I never wanted to cause too much friction for others.
I started people blazing at a very young age.
But for example, if my mother wanted me to wear something to school, and this is when I
was really, really little, okay?
I lived in a Long Island neighborhood so it was very suburban, house right next to each
house.
You could open your window and talk to your neighbor while they were at their window.
That's how close they were.
But I, you know, my mom used to make me all my own clothes and they were actually beautiful,
beautiful clothes.
But when I got to be a certain age, I don't remember what age this was, but I remember
doing this.
Like I did not want to wear them.
I used to get teased at school.
So I would like decide what I wanted to wear and I would put it outside and hide it.
And then the next morning when I got up to walk to school, I would get changed out on a
patio, okay?
Like broad daylight.
I just didn't care.
And I just, I did that.
And then I would just walk myself to school.
And yes, I was quite young, but I walked myself to school and so did everybody else.
You know, we were like a block from the school.
And on my way, two of my best friends lived along the block that I walked to the school.
And we would all walk together with, along with their brothers and sisters and other neighbors.
So it was like a clan, you know, of kids walking to school together.
It was quite safe.
So this theme of me wanting my freedom continued throughout my whole life.
I just didn't want to conform to what society wanted me to do.
And at the same time, I didn't want to cause too many waves.
It was just like this constant pulling at me, if that makes sense.
So I do believe this is why I ended up having my own business, you know, being an entrepreneur.
And now as I moved into this period of my life where I'm at now, I could just give a
shit about making waves because finally I just ran out of fuck's give to put it simply.
Like, I just don't care anymore what anybody thinks.
I'm going to do what I want and I don't care if it's weird or completely outside of what
society deems as normal.
I don't want to be normal, you know?
I'm just moving into what I want to do.
What feels good and what not only serves me, but also serves the good of all.
Like, I'm not going to do things that are harmful to other people.
It took me a long time to get to this point.
I think it took too long to stop giving a shit, you know?
But I suppose it's better late than never, right?
I see very clearly now the pattern through my whole life of how we're programmed to conform
to society's expectations and how these expectations are really against our natural state, against
human nature.
And as I make my way toward what feels like to me, the most natural state to be in, where
I'm happy, excited and inspired every morning, but still challenged, you know, where I'm
spending all my time doing the things that are hell yes.
I notice that it's all about the cycles in life.
Cycles are everywhere in the natural world, right in front of our noses if we pay attention.
If we slow down long enough to see them, they're right there.
And a lot of people might think it's childish, irresponsible or absolutely impossible to
always be doing what you want, but this is where the problem lies right here that we think
that that's wrong, okay?
Think about who created these rules.
We have to go to work for 40 plus hours a week and we have to work probably 75% more than
that our entire life before we get a break, okay?
We have to get married, we have to have kids.
This isn't right for everybody.
Who created these guidelines?
Who is it?
When we talk about who created these things, we always say they, when we refer to things
what they did this and they did that, well who is they?
We need to like name who they is that created these systems that we are expected to conform
to and agree with.
We have like this unspoken contract with society, right?
So it's what the government, organized religion, the corporations, the patriarchy, who is it?
Who is it for you?
It's not exactly level-headed, kind, ethical people.
Are they, right?
As a woman, I can also say that they, I'm using quotation marks with my hands, are not
anyone who has my best interests in mind for sure.
So who does this benefit?
It benefits the people who hold all the strings.
It benefits the very few at the very top.
They're mostly old, white, straight, rich men, if we're all being honest, okay?
But not all of them.
I don't know about you, but when I look at the state of things in the world and the state
of most people, I would say that this system is not working very well for anyone.
We need a reset, a redesign, big time.
The rules that everyone is following do not benefit human beings as a whole.
They do not allow us to be in a full expression of ourselves.
They do not allow us to form communities.
They do not allow us to live within the systems of nature.
So when we show up in total alignment, when, with our true selves, our true nature, the
whole world benefits from that.
This is world connected when we show up in total alignment with ourselves.
This is why we are here, I believe.
This is why we were born just to be that unique individual, that unique expression that we
are, that unique person, that puzzle piece.
And you could think of the world as a big puzzle.
Each living being is a puzzle piece, right?
And each puzzle piece is different, right?
There's no comparison.
So when we all embody who we were meant to be, that puzzle piece, everything fits together
in the big puzzle of things and flows together and it makes sense, it works.
But when we don't, the puzzle doesn't fit together or make sense.
It's a mess.
The piece is this, this piece is missing at a place.
It's hard to see what the puzzle is supposed to be, what is supposed to represent, how it's
supposed to feel, right?
Our purpose in life is to be who we are meant to be and to live in cooperation with everyone
else, all the other puzzle pieces.
Right now, a majority of us are walking around like zombies, going through the motions,
not enjoying most of what we do, just watching or not even watching, life is just zooming
by.
And of course, there are exceptions.
But most people are overworked, tired, stressed and don't even have the capacity to break
out of the trance that we're all under right now.
So how do we break free?
And I'm going to start to get into that, I just need to take a sip of my tea.
I actually can't believe I'm drinking tea right now because it's so hot, we're having a heat
wave.
And I'm trying to get this podcast recorded before it's like 95.
Because then I won't feel like doing anything.
But you do this, you break free by taking one small step at a time.
You don't need to make these big, scary changes.
So the first step is really to calm and support your nervous system, reduce stress, get present,
tune into yourself, tune into your body, how you feel and start supporting your nervous system
daily.
Think somatic exercises, meditation, breath work, and I talk about this all the time.
I could probably recommend like most of my podcast episodes, but I also have a free self
healing bundle.
It's totally free.
I'll put the link in the show notes and this will help you get started.
It has a whole book of somatic practices.
So if you don't know what that is or you're looking to figure out how to do this, you could
get it there and it's all free.
So definitely grab that.
But that is your first step.
Learning how to reduce stress, slow down and get present because as I said, if you don't
slow down and you don't notice the cycles that were supposed to be in, you don't notice
how you want to feel.
You don't even notice how you feel in that current moment.
So we have to slow down and we have to support our nervous system.
The next step is to tune into what feels like a hell yes in your body.
So you have to pay attention how you feel when you're doing everything you're doing and
then ask yourself, is this a hell yes?
And if not, then why am I doing it?
And like if you say to yourself, well, I have to do this.
Okay?
So what do you do?
Well, then how can you do it differently or maybe do it less?
But mostly how can you do it not at all?
Okay?
There's some things, yeah, I know realistically, I know there's some things we have to do in
life.
But there are ways to spend your time doing mostly everything you want to do.
But you're not going to know you need to do that unless you slow down and ask yourself
that question.
So is it a hell yes?
If not, why am I doing it?
How could I do this differently or not at all?
Okay?
Then you have to shift.
Okay?
One small thing at a time sounds really, really tedious, doesn't it?
Well, it might feel a little bit overwhelming when you discover, like when you start doing
this work and asking yourself the question, is this a hell yes?
And then you discover that nothing you're doing is a hell yes.
Then it might feel a little overwhelming.
But I'm just going to tell you, you don't have to make big changes.
But as soon as you start making those small shifts, it feels so good, especially when you're
so out of alignment, it feels so good.
Just one little thing at a time.
You know, like saying no to dinner with that friend who always makes you feel like shit,
hell yes.
Getting up, leaving a date when it feels off and not like suffering through it.
Hell yes.
Saying no to that relative who constantly votes against your basic human rights.
Hell yes.
Saying yes to a walk in nature every single day.
Hell yes.
Saying yes to that clash you've been wanting to take, but you never have the time.
So you make the time.
Hell yes.
Those are the shifts.
The most important part is constantly checking in to see how things feel in your body and
know what that hell yes feels like.
Know what it feels like and then know what a hell no feels like.
And then you have to honor it, right?
Starting changes if you don't honor it.
With these small little shifts slowly and surely your life starts to change, it starts
to feel good.
This creates momentum, it creates flow.
The more you define what you want in your life, the more of what you want begins to flow
into it.
This is the same, the same law of like what you focus on expands, right?
I'm going to say that again.
What you put your focus on expands.
The more you define what you want in your life, the more of what you want begins to be drawn
into it.
Okay?
You have to keep creating those definitions by paying attention to what you're doing and
noting if it's a hell yes or a hell no and then honoring it.
It's just like constant small shifts every day.
Now this is how we create something new, right?
We do it to take the place of what's not working right now.
This is how we find purpose.
This is our purpose.
As I said, your purpose is to be that individual puzzle piece that you're supposed to be, right?
How many of us are actually embodying the puzzle piece that we're supposed to be in
this great big universe that we live in?
It's like you could think of it as it's your job to be your unique self.
That's your job, that's your purpose.
Another wonderful way to tune into the rhythms of life is working with nature, working
with the moon, okay?
This is what our ancestors did, so I don't see, if something's been practiced for thousands
and thousands of years, I think that I could probably say that there's something to it, right?
It's a great reminder of how we're supposed to live, right?
So times for like doing and creating, that's as the moon gets like fuller.
It's building up from like the new moon to the full moon.
It's like like we're doing, we're creating, we're doing, we're creating.
And then there's times for rest and going inward, that's when the moon is the full moon moving
into the dark moon, right?
I think I got that right.
But basically if you check in twice a month during the full moon to see what's not working,
what you need to release, what you need to shift, and then the new moon, what you're going
to create, what you're going to bring in.
Just checking in, you're working with the cycles of nature, you're working with the cycles
of the moon.
So that's putting it, putting it very simply, you could really, really get into some intricacies
when it comes to working with the moon.
But that's a very simple way to start working with it.
It's a very powerful reminder that nothing and no one can be in go mode or hustle mode
all the time.
Even nature slows down, it has these cycles because if you don't go and work with the cycles,
you're going to crash and burn, right?
You're going to burn out.
This week I talked about the cycles of the seasons like winters a time of rest, spring is a time
of rebirth and creation and summer is a time of enjoyment and then harvest and then falls
when we start going inward again and heading into winter a time of rest.
So even the plants, the animals, everything works within these cycles.
All the cycles in the natural world work this way.
So what would make us as human beings any different?
Nothing.
It's the way we're supposed to live.
Living more intentionally is so important when you're doing this type of work.
So for this spring solstice that was, I think it was like Friday, Saturday, this past,
Friday, Saturday, I made the intention to start living this way even more intentionally,
even more than I am now.
I do this all the time.
But I really want to prioritize, like really laser focus.
So if you want to join me in living with the rhythms of nature and the moon, come over to the
sole aligned life Patreon.
I talk about that all the time.
I'll put the link in the show notes because I share a new and a full moon worksheet every
month and I'll be doing that.
I was going to say tomorrow, but I really syspodcast on Wednesday.
So today there's a new moon worksheet inside a Patreon if you join.
And there's a seven day free trial so you could just go in and check it out right now.
So go do that.
Definitely go grab that worksheet.
It's a great way to start checking in with yourself and making those align shifts.
So right now we're in a place of like going inward like today, like yesterday, I felt it
yesterday.
I actually even took a nap yesterday.
And today I'm feeling more like, okay, we're moving into creation mode.
But it's like really a place of self-care before we move into that new moon where it's time
to almost like start dreaming big and creating plans and setting goals.
It's a time right now today is a time when I'm recording this so it's Tuesday.
It's a time to like listen to what our bodies need and give yourself what you need.
And then the new moon tomorrow or I should say if you're listening to this Wednesday today
is about planning and creating and calling in what you want to bring into your life for
the month, okay?
So it's so much fun to work within these cycles but this is one of the easiest ways that
you could start reconnecting with nature is working with the moon cycles.
And you can download an app on your phone, a moon app.
I have it on mind.
Let me look and see what it's called moon phases.
So you know what phase you're in.
So if you don't know when the new moon is or the full moon, or you could just join me
over on the Patreon and I, you know, every, it's like every two weeks, right?
So we have the new moon and two weeks it'll be full moon.
That definitely a great way to check in with yourself.
And you know, I'll be sharing some journal prompts that you could use.
So those journal prompts will be really good and very aligned with this podcast.
So if you want some of those, definitely head over to the Patreon for that also.
But I would think that if I could narrow this podcast episode down to one thing that you
should start doing this week is being more intentional with the way you spend your time and aligning
it more to what you want in your life.
Paying attention to the hell yeses and hell now every time you're trying to make a decision
or do something, ask yourself, is this a hell yes?
And if it's not, why?
Why is it?
Why isn't it a hell yes?
And how can you either not do it or do it differently to make it a hell yes, right?
That's what you do this week.
That's the perfect way to move into this new moon, this new intentional phase of your
life if you want to step along with me as I do this myself.
Okay guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode.
I hope it was helpful and I will see you next week on the Soul Aligned Self Care Podcast.
